r/intj • • Aug 21 '17

Meta IF YOU ARE ON MOBILE, PLEASE READ THE SIDEBAR. Here's a copy of it.

463 Upvotes
Sidebar Rules FAQ Wiki
INTJ rules as a snapshot.

r/intj • • 23h ago

Question Do you relate to "very, chill, calm, low-cortisol" ?

Post image
164 Upvotes

Because I don't. My general demeanor is stoic but I'm irritated by a lot of things and I get mad easily. I don't yell or express it physically yet it shows on my face and choice of words. I'm a worrying person too and my tests show a threat of hyperprolactinemia because of the too much cortisol. I'm definitely not chill either. I'm rushy and I rush people sometimes. I get invested in things and start moving fast and talking a lot. I'm not the quiet type that sits at the corner, I'm either absent from a setting (70% of the time) or remarkably present (30%) My body language is not calm. When I'm around friends I'm joking a lot and my laughs get embarrassingly high šŸ˜‚ I really was never the "quiet kid." I know that I'm an INTJ but I wonder if this "calm" stereotype derives from most of you actually relating to it?


r/intj • • 6h ago

Discussion Working Pace

6 Upvotes

I am an INTJ teen and I’ve noticed quite recently that I work at a slower pace than my peers.

An example would be completing an assignment: I would work on it for a good 7 hours vs the 3 hours others might put in for the same assignment. I’ve also noticed in time-conditioned exams I also work at a slower pace than others. They might be on their 3rd paragraph of their essay, I would be in the middle of my 1st.

During an experiment the other day, our class was peeling eggshells. I was 1/8 of the way done, carefully removing the eggshell without ripping out the membrane. My friend was so much faster than I was having like 3/4 done, and she didn’t even rip out the membrane.

Is this because of the planning? Te is supposed to be for efficiency, so does Te believe planning and working slowly and methodically to be the most efficient, even if it means not getting something done as quick? Or is it just a skill issue…

Do you guys work at slower paces? Or is this purely a me thing.


r/intj • • 2h ago

Question Between a person with stronger and weaker bones, who is better?

1 Upvotes
18 votes, 6d left
person with stronger bones
person with weaker bones

r/intj • • 48m ago

MBTI Example of Se Inferior

• Upvotes

Hello INTJs,

I had this experience which I thought wasa very funny example of Se inferior and probably Ni at work.

Every morning for the past couple years I make my children’s lunch for school. They both have a similar lunch kit, different colours, but the inner bento style insert that creates the compartments is almost identical - but it’s not.

For the longest time I knew which insert went to which lunchbox purely on what I would now consider ā€œvibesā€. Eventually one day I realized I was doing this and decided to try and figure out what the actual difference was. Was it colour? I swear the one that goes with the pink lunch box had a slight pinkish hue to the clear plastic. I compared them directly and no, there’s no colour difference. Then I realized they had a slightly different shape. One has rounded corners and one has square corners. DOH! Insert Homer Simpson picture here.

I have always known that one fits into one and one fits into the other and they don’t fit into each other, so in hindsight the logical deduction would be that there’s a different shape. Yet somehow I went a whole year blind to this obvious fact, but still functional.

I’m willing to bet someone with better Se/Si would have seen and acknowledged that difference immediately. I’m going to test this theory later by asking my S type family members how they know the difference between the two inserts.

(I’m not sure how I manage to be quite smart abs functional and also very very dumb at the same time šŸ˜‚)


r/intj • • 18h ago

Question INTJs, which one would you choose: having kids or adopting kids?

19 Upvotes

What are your reasons for your choice? If you selected both or neither, please explain why.


r/intj • • 3h ago

Discussion This post if for anything and anyone

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1 Upvotes

Join. Now.


r/intj • • 17h ago

Discussion How do you deal with "fake" friends?

13 Upvotes

You may know the type...

they smile to your face and unload meaningless drama on you as if to vent while you collect the data- only to realize later that others they're constantly around them start treating you like dirt for no apparent reason.

Hmmm. Something I said analyzing what you unloaded on me? Move on again!

No wonder we're isolated creatures.


r/intj • • 14h ago

Question Do intj men know right away if they have feelings for someone?

4 Upvotes

I am an estp woman and I met this intj man through pdb and we have been talking to each other for 7 months. Since the beginning we both expressed our attraction to each other however i ended up catching feelings. I like him bc he is so sweet and so smart. I love that he is responsible with everything specially with money. He has this effect on me that no other man has had on me. He makes me feel more confident and less aggressive. I am always on the defensive waiting for people to attack me but with him i don’t feel like that. I just feel like i am a better person because of his influence.

The problem is that I live in Florida and he lives in Utah. He is studying accounting and I am working on going back to school to finish my degree. At some point I confessed myself and he said that he didn’t feel the same. I felt confused because he treats me like he does have feelings. I then later confronted him and he said that he does have feelings but that he thinks that I wouldn’t work out so in his head he thinks of me as his friend. Like he turned off his feelings for me.

I am very hurt by all this but my intuition tells me that he does. I think he does because at first he was very closed off and now he tells me about his day without me even texting him. He sends me pictures of when he is taking a class or of whatever he is doing and i never ask for this stuff. Like he is letting me into his life slowly. Plus whenever I have a problem he helps me out fix it without me even asking him.

We kept talking and we planned for him to come visit me and we booked a hotel. We had such a great time. We went to hhn and went out to eat. During his stay we ended up being intimate with each other. I cried in front of him and confessed how much i wanted him. He also cried which is surprising, because he felt like he didnt know how to feel but the way that his body reacts to me says otherwise. He even cried when he was on his way to the airport. I ended up telling him that i wanted to cut contact with him. That lasted two days because i needed his help and i just couldnt go through it. He told me how distraught he felt and that he wanted to text me. That after that he realized that he has feelings. He just seems so confused.

I want him and in my head i have decided that he is mine and that i will get him at some point. I like that he is cautious bc i am very impulsive with relationships and he forces me to think about things long term but i am already making a strategy on how to get him and make our lives work. I even think about how would i make it work with kids and marriage. The fact that he is being cautious about everything pushes me to plan on ways on how make this work and the more time passes the confident i feel in it working. Its like a weird way my brain works. In my head he is already my future husband. The only thing i have to do is take my time and little by little guide him to me. It sounds aggressive and crazy but i cant let it go bc i think we would be great together. I know i can make him happy and i love how he makes me into a better person.

I am sorry for the long story but i really need help with this. There are so many other details but this captures most of it. If anybody is interested please ask any questions.


r/intj • • 18h ago

Question those in a healthy relationship, what is the quality you value in your partner, and how did you guys make it far?

8 Upvotes

also, how do you guys feel about bottling up emotions? let’s say little things bother you but you don’t think it’s rational to bring up—do you bring it up or no?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Relationship INTJ men: what are your opinions on INFJ women?

24 Upvotes

I noticed lately and as I grow up that my taste in men is more and more clearer and the closest mbti is INTJ. I check every time after I already like someone and it turns out INTJ. Besides the deep topics and unspoken understanding, it’s the calm commanding aura and their practicality and strategic decision making. With an INTJ man, I also feel I can relax more and be present in the moment because I don’t have to worry about the things I usually need to take care of. I love how they’re very low key and yet super smart, protective and have soft hearts that only appear with loved ones. I was wondering, how do INTJ men experience with INFJ women? Is this fairy feeling reciprocated? Or do you find us boring because we overthink?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question What’s your thoughts on higher education institutions?

13 Upvotes

I am just about to turn 18, and I am in the process of college applications right now. I was just wondering what older INTJ’s think about colleges / higher education institutions in general?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question Anyone here that isn’t a conventional or stereotypical intj?

11 Upvotes

My actual personality and cogn mbti personality clash so hard. It doesn’t feel or sound right felt like it’s almost as if you’re X and u can’t be X situation. I’ve struggled with identity and results cuz it doesn’t entirely align, yes I’m this but I’m also this that basically contradicts the very thing I am, personality, habits and hobby wise.

I’ve only met and known many ppl who aren’t conventionally this personality (intj), they’re fucking cute šŸ˜­šŸ’€ studying and learning abt cogn functions actually helped with differing types and funny enough their tests and cogn functions all match up but their personalities r completely different. Almost a lil too happy or bubbly and friendly, at least to me they are. I wonder if this is just a displayed or real personality, everyone’s a 180 around ppl they know and ppl they don’t know 🤷

This might sound like a stupid question but I’m just curious how common this is among specifically intjs. And have u met any that just had very different actual personalities to their mbti personalities


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Xsfp mistype?

5 Upvotes

Loops, grips, trauma, how to rifferentiate. Does anyone have any insight/ experience?

I've been going back and forth a lot.

My Ni is dominant in my thought processes and I've struggled with addiction and OCD but I'm also very 'practical' but maybe that's Te? Or maybe a Ni grip?

At my core I just want to be chill and I should be a 954. I fear I might be an xsfp that got traumatised during childhood with a 'your only value is productivity and knowledge" mindset.

I'm 26 so almost maybe it's just that I'm finally developing Fi. But I'm also very interested in practical applications and like to think I'm kinda down to earth.

Has anyone else been through these doubts?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion INTJ-A Loneliness?

36 Upvotes

Anyone here who is INTJ-A feeling lonely since childhood?

Currently im 30 yo, never had real friends who understand me and also rarely click with a girl. What to do then if one doesn't like noisy, loud , superficial extroverted activities most people do in society? Are we smart people doomed to be lonely forever?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Things I've learned (and am still stuck on) building a cognitive functions test

5 Upvotes

For the past few months I've been working on 16Selves, a free Jungian cognitive functions test. I've posted it here a couple of times before, and a lot of the current version exists because people pushed back on the wording, spotted inconsistencies, or told me their results felt off. So thanks for that. It's given me plenty to rethink.

The thing I've struggled with most is telling someone's natural preferences apart from things they've just learned to do. That's come up in a few different ways, so here's where I've got to.

Preference vs. learned behaviour

If you spend your whole working day organising people, making decisions or managing other people's feelings, you'll probably get good at it. But being good at something because your job demands it doesn't make it your natural way of thinking. It's hard to write questions that pick up the difference.

My attempt at this is adaptive follow-ups. Everyone answers the same 48 statements first, covering all eight functions. The test then picks out your two strongest functions and asks 16 more questions about them and their introverted/extraverted counterparts. These try to find out whether something happens automatically, whether it's been consistent over time, whether it takes conscious effort, or whether it mostly shows up when circumstances require it.

I don't know yet if this actually improves accuracy. I'm also not convinced the line between preference and adaptation is always as clean as we'd like.

Questions that measure the wrong thing

A statement can sound like a perfect example of a function and still not tell you much. Say someone would rather watch a physical activity than join in. That could be about how they process sensory information. Or they might be shy, tired, physically limited, or just not into that particular activity. The same problem crops up with questions about organisation, relationships, decision-making and planning.

I've added optional examples for each statement showing how it might look at work, at home or socially. The idea is to get people thinking across different settings instead of answering based on whatever situation pops into their head first. But examples can backfire too. They might clarify things, or they might nudge people towards a reading I didn't intend. I'd like to hear whether people find them helpful or limiting.

Some statements are just easier to agree with

Each function has six statements. Three are about what you tend to notice, prioritise or respond to, and three are phrased the opposite way. That helps with people's general tendency to agree with things, but only up to a point. If one function's statements sound nicer, more familiar or more socially acceptable than another's, that will still skew the scores.

The test also hasn't been standardised against a reference sample. So there's no real basis yet for saying a high score on one function means the same as a high score on another. That's on my list.

Your top function doesn't automatically decide your type

All eight functions are scored separately. Then the overall pattern is compared against the function stacks for all 16 types. The test doesn't just take your highest function, and it doesn't work out the four letters independently. You get the closest fit within the model.

You can see how the other types compare too. But the percentages show relative fit within the scoring model. They're not the probability that a given type is right.

What to do when the result isn't clear

This is the part I've gone back and forth on most. If two types score almost the same, should the test just pick one? And what if changing a couple of answers flips the result?

Right now it re-scores your answers 200 times, each time randomly moving individual answers by up to one point on the seven-point scale. That shows how often the leading type stays on top. If it keeps changing, or the top two are really close, you get a two-way shortlist instead of a single type. There's also a separate outcome for when several types are basically tied.

A stable result can still be wrong, though. The simulations don't prove accuracy or tell you how likely your type is to be correct. They just show how sensitive the ranking is to small changes in your answers. I'd still rather show that uncertainty than give someone one type without saying how close the alternatives were.

Still plenty to figure out

16Selves hasn't been empirically validated. The adaptive questions, balanced wording, stack comparisons and stability checks are all things I'm trying out, and I don't know yet how much they help. There are still problems with the underlying questions and scoring that I need to look into. That's a big part of why I'm posting.

Two things I'd especially like input on:

- How would you tell someone's natural cognitive preferences apart from behaviours they've picked up through work, upbringing or experience? What would you actually ask?

- How do you write questions about cognitive functions without accidentally measuring unrelated traits or circumstances?

Also, do you find a shortlist of possible types more useful than a single answer, especially when your responses don't clearly separate them?

If you want to try it, just search 16Selves. It's free and you don't need an account. Everything is processed in your browser and your progress is saved on your device. Nothing gets sent unless you choose to submit feedback and results. There's separate cookieless analytics for site usage, but it doesn't collect individual answers or scores.

Whether you tried an earlier version or this is your first time seeing it, I'd love to hear what you think. Specific examples help most: a question that was hard to answer, an example that seemed misleading, or a result that didn't seem to match your answers. Most of the changes so far have come from people taking the time to explain exactly where things went wrong for them.


r/intj • • 1d ago

Relationship INFP dating a INTJ

18 Upvotes

Hello dear INTJs of reddit

Honestly this personality type thing is just somewhat of a small intetest to me, but my partner is an INTJ woman, I'm just a little curious about.. well, your advice, INTJs of reddit?

Just small in general things I might not fully grasp. I know personality types isn't "end all, be all."

But it's still interesting to just hear some potential views and opinions you may have to share! What can I keep in mind and do for her?

Thanks for your time, I know I have been vague, this is on purpose.


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Is there a correlation of the cognitive functions with any part of the brain?

4 Upvotes

Some people seek order
Some seek chaos
Clearly these people are not using the same parts of the brain

Some people are calculative and logical
Some people are more empathetic and emotional
Again they can’t be using the same parts of the brain right

Unless I am wrong about how the brain works
Maybe it isn’t divided into specific parts for specific functions

Like trying to figure out what part of a neural network system is involved with what type of thinking

Ne is like exploration of ideas
It’s expanding

But Ni is the uniting of the ideas
It’s squeezing

They can be using similar parts

Idk
If you guys know of any resources to learn more about this
Do share

Are there like any studies in neuroscience on differences of personalities in people? It doesn’t have to be about mbti


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question Is it safe to developed feelings for intj? Am I misunderstanding his comfort zone for romance?

2 Upvotes

I'm an ENFP female, and my friend is an INTJ male. I know that the 16Personalities MBTI doesn't fully capture who a person is and is mostly just a tool for understanding people. We're more than four letters, after all. But I'm genuinely curious about my friend and how he thinks.

When we first met, we discussed a lot of ideas and often exchanged perspectives and values regarding relationships, human nature, and emotions. He was surprised when I started acting "skibidi" around him, just like his other friend. My first impression of him was that he was someone who appreciated people's flaws, whether in real life or in fictional characters, and was also very honest about his thoughts.

We spent a lot of time in voice calls, sometimes staying on call for 70+ hours straight without stopping, and possibly even longer. Altogether, we've spent over 200 hours in calls. Most of the time, we'd discuss different topics or simply do our own things together. However, we don't spend as much time in calls anymore because we've both been busy. He has a lot going on in his life, and I know it's been stressing him out. There have been times when he came to me to talk and relax, though. Sometimes, I wonder if he finds me annoying or thinks I'm being too much. I often text him whenever I'm bored or want to share some thoughts and discuss them with him during our free time.

I guess he might see me as a good friend to hang out with and exchange ideas with, but I'm not entirely sure how he views our friendship. I also don't think he's ready to pursue a relationship, and honestly, I haven't noticed many clear signs that would tell me whether he's interested in something more or not.

I think our last conversation was pretty stressful, too. We had different perspectives on a particular relationship, and he told me that his types were INFJs, ENTPs, and ENFPs. However, he also said that it "doesn't matter" as long as the vibes are good, and he wants things to happen naturally.

On the other hand, my perspective on relationships is much more complicated. I tend to overthink things and worry too much about a particular relationship, almost like an adult who feels the need to calculate and evaluate everything. During that conversation, I accidentally showed him a lot of my raw emotions, unhealthy habits, and mistakes I've made in past relationships. After noticing that the tension had become a bit too much, he invited me to play a game with him. The next morning, I apologized to him in case I'd overwhelmed him. I knew that both of us had been stressed at the time, and we were probably just trying to find something to talk about.

At the same time, I really don't want to ruin this beautiful friendship we have. šŸ˜”

\- From my thoughts: Maybe he's just being nice overall, I don't want to make myself expect too much from someone or having hopes that never existed.

\- I might need some tips or advice from intjs because I don't want to mess up or misunderstand something that is not clear


r/intj • • 1d ago

Advice how 2 comfort intj dad

4 Upvotes

hello everybody,

for as long as i can remember, my dad (65) has always been stressed over my mother. they have periods where they get along but it’s always short-lived, and it always circles back to them arguing about something small.

after years of this my dad has lost hope and has told me things like
ā€œwe (him and my mom) don’t get alongā€
ā€œi don’t think she’ll be there for me when i’m oldā€
ā€œi don’t think she cares for me/loves meā€
ā€œi spend so much money on her/i do so much for her and she’s still unhappy, i shouldn’t do all this, what’s the pointā€
ā€œi don’t think we’re gonna lastā€ (this is after 20+ years of being together)
ā€œi’ve always been alone my whole life, with nobody to back me upā€ (i told him his kids but he said smth in disagreement, i forgot what it was, so i think he was talking abt romantic partners)
ā€œi’m always stressed to the point whenever i come to this houseā€

for further context he takes care of literally everything in our house, from bills to chores (my mom works for most of the day so she doesn’t come home until like 6pm) and he works A LOT he’s always so productive and i think it has to do with distracting himself

i feel really bad for him because he does so much and idk how to comfort him

he’s always trying to get close to my mom but it never works out

the reason he stayed w her for so long is because of the kids, he says he’s staying until me and my little sister are old enough to take care of ourselves (19 & 15 respectively) but i think it’s also because he loves her a lot

idk i worry a lot for him and the fact that if they do split, he’s gonna eventually be alone when both my little sister and i move out :( and i worry for his health too because he’s getting older
even now he feels lonely idk

i just comfort him by listening but i feel like it’s really not enough i wish i could do more
and at some points i don’t know what to say anymore because he stresses over the same problems over and over again

what should i say / do to comfort him? i can try picking up more chores to lessen his workload but emotionally i want to make him feel happier as much as i can

any advice is appreciated thanks guys


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question Do you feel wrong for not feeling connection to anyone?

23 Upvotes

I don’t look at anybody with disgust, but it’s really uncomfortable for me to pretend that I want to see anybody.

They are dead batteries to me


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Do you over-intellectualise?

9 Upvotes

I like to think about things. A lot. Especially around others in social situations. I sometimes ask myself far too much and grow tremendously trapped in my mind about how uncomfortable I feel, knowing that I’m analysing what is going on rather actually deciding to be involved in it.

It’s a strange conundrum to be in, but I often begin to justify situations when it’s totally inappropriate, because sometimes ā€œit’s not that deepā€ (as my friends quite aptly put it). I almost instinctively search for meanings or patterns behind behaviour when I know I shouldn’t be— almost like I can’t just let things be weird.

It feels uncomfortable to confront this realisation without thinking too much about it, which I fear is an excuse for me to over-intellectualise my behaviour. So I’m wondering - do you over-intellectualise your thoughts and the things around you? And how have you managed it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts :)


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion What has your experience with your Fi been like?

4 Upvotes

Do you like this function and find it useful? Does it make you sensitive deep down?


r/intj • • 2d ago

Question Did the music you listened to as a teenager shape who you are?

11 Upvotes

They say the music we listen to as teenagers has a lasting influence on our identity and worldview.

I mostly listened to rock. What I took from it: be a non-conformist, stand up, step out of line, and carry a kind of quiet sadness from seeing reality as it is. Looking back, it seems shaped me more than I expected.

What about you? Do you see a connection between what you listened to back then and who you are now? Or is it the other way around?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Website I need another round of gentle souls to help fine-tuning a promising Typing test. People that know their type with 100% certainty.

3 Upvotes

I created a typing test that works based on what you resonate with, it gives you a feed of cards with statements, quotes, scenario, and you select only the ones you resonate with, this way the cognitive load is very low, also the feed adapt to funnel down your type, you just select what you think is related to you.

I already asked on different subreddits including this one, for the version 1.3, 135 persons sent the report, it resulted with 70% accuracy, not that bad, I used this test session to improve it, I hope reaching 90% accuracy, maybe with this new version 1.5. About the last test session you have all the data analysis on the website.

At the end of the test, in the result page, you will have a frame that ask you to share your result, with a simple button. It will send me the informations I need in my database, it gives me all the cards you selected, the timeline of the guessing of your type, how the algorithm reacted, etc, it helps me to fine-tune the test.

I really feel that this method can work and be more accurate than anything that already exist.

Thank you in advance if you try it, and thank you again for the ones that already tried it, it helped me a lot improving the test.

https://www.mazwiz.com/

PS: I will share the findings in the result page like for the last test session.