Welp! I made it. One month without a drink. It's wild. I had this whole post written out in my head yesterday. Then today happened. So I'm again, just shouting into the void.

The GOOD - I'm down 20lbs, my bloodwork came back significantly better, I'm sleeping through the night (even if it is only for 4 hours), my routine has improved, my skin and scalp look great, I'm cooking and baking almost everyday and seriously the money I'm saving is ridiculous.

The MEH - I still crave alcohol. Whenever I'm watching horror movies or jamming/singing, I just think about how much I revolved these activities around being drunk and enjoying them more. I'm dealing wity my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety as best I can. I'm on a stupid long waitlist to get with a psychiatrist and a therapist. So right now, I'm just simply trying.

The STRUGGLE - I've realized I have AWFUL coping skills. I had a great day, super productive, taking care of my physical health, didn't hermit. Then I accidentally hit the side of my car on a pole in a parking garage and I seriously lost my shit. I was angry, mad, sad, pissed. I felt like a complete idiot. I just wanted to get a bottle and say fuck it. But, I didn't.

Today's celebration wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I guess this is just what we call life.

Thanks to anyone who read this. IWNDWYT 🫂 💗

Ive been lone drinking for about 18 years. My idea of a great time is to boot up a video game and drink about 7-10 beers over the course of the night and try to escape to another place. I'd typically do this 1-3 times a week. This would fluctuate.

Recently I took a week off work and every afternoon about 17:00 I'd crack open a beer and start my night off. My partner of many years had been coming home from work during this week and we'd have some dinner and then she'd head off to bed as she could see what my plan was. Finally after a few days she came through the door, looked in the bin and saw a couple of cans and confronted me about the drinking. Telling me how she was concerned about the amount I drink, about my health and she asked if I might be skipping out on doing other things so I could stay home and drink.

Basically she called me out completely and it made me feel awful. She was obviously 100% right to do this. I think I had already come to terms with myself that I'm an alcoholic and needed to fix things years ago but this event really woke me up.

I know that if I carry on this way I will ruin this great relationship I'm in, continue to ruin my health and isolate myself more and more.

I suppose I'm just worried that I don't have the strength and willpower to fully stop drinking and need any advice that could help so I can start living a better life.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting, but I don’t really have anyone to explain this to.

I went 7.5 years sober. Through that time I lost my Nan and my dog in that time, and on neither occasion did I even contemplate reaching for a drink. If anything, I was grateful I was sober.

Then 7 months ago, me and my family moved 4 hours away to be closer to my family who all had moved to the area.

Before the move I’d started thinking of drinking again, so I could at least come back to my home area to socialise with my best mate (how stupid is that after that much time!?). Ironically we don’t see each other much these days as family and work life can take up a lot time. But the relationship we had previously was heavily focussed on being at the pub. He has always been there on the end of the phone even though we don’t meet up often. Sadly I think it’s because I avoided doing so otherwise it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking anymore, like I was almost embarrassed.

We met up a couple of times beforehand, and he helped us move. I’d always kept my sobriety relatively private, as if it was more casual like I could occasionally drink than a big deal. Which wasn’t true and I’d hide it with an excuse like I’m driving, or up early the next day when we did meet up. It was more through fear that the friendship would somehow be worth less, now it wasn’t filled with the drinking side.

Anyway, within 2 weeks of relocating I found myself drinking for the first time. Almost so I could have a reason to have a reason to go back home and maintain that old social aspect of my life with my friend. It’s been 6.5 months since that first drink and I’m now back to drinking regularly. The heart palpitations and anxiety is awful and I feel so ashamed that I’ve let this get the better of me.
I’m not even sure if any of this even makes sense, and to be honest I’m trying to make sense of it all myself even now.

I guess what I’m trying to say, along with getting it off my chest somewhere, is please don’t ever get complacent. Treasure that time you’ve achieved. I was 100% convinced I’d beaten the addiction, yet it found its way back in at a time that didn’t even seem like a vulnerable point until now when I look back at it.

Day 1 completed again.

I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed. I myself am only suffering adjacently from alcoholism.

I lost one of my best friends yesterday.

I only knew him 4 years of my life but I knew he would be a friend forever. He was the most solid, honest, down to earth, true friend I ever had.

He was found in his home yesterday by a family member, died from choking on his own vomit after passing out drunk in the bathroom.

I knew he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but I never thought it could end the way that it did.

Again I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed and please remove if so; I just needed to write this and I thought this community might understand at a deeper level than I can.

I found out that for some reason, if I write and sign a literal paper contract with myself in the morning, that I am able to decide to not drink later. This is the only way that I have found (so far) that prevents my doing the mental gymnastics in the evening, wherein I inevitably give in and get wasted. It feels so silly and arbitrary, but I just write in my journal:

“I ____ will not drink alcohol today” and sign/date it.

Then, whenever I have the urge, I just think “ah shit, can’t do that, bound by the contract.” It’s so silly but it has worked for a few days now. Hoping to keep it up for as long as possible. If anyone else is very forgetful/has ADHD, or is good at reasoning your way out of decisions you previously made, this might be a good thing to try!

this is my first post in this community! i’m new here and new to sobriety as well.

for context, i’m in my early 20’s. i decided to quit drinking after some years with a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it made me hate myself. i’m two weeks sober today! i know it’s not much, but i’m proud of myself. it’s the first time in years that i’ve gone that much time without it.

the reason why i’m writing this post is because i don’t know what to say to my friends (and people in general) when they ask me why i’m not drinking. the excuse i’ve been saying is that “i’m feeling sick” or something like that, but it only can get me so far.

i really wanted this journey to be private. i feel ashamed to be sober in such a early age, where everyone seems to be drinking and partying and having fun, and i can’t have that because i don’t know how to drink in moderation. i’m scared of telling friends because what if i relapse? what if i can’t do it? i’m afraid to tell my friends i quit just for them to find me drunk some time later and be disappointed.

that’s why i didn’t want anyone to know. so far, i told very few close friends that i stopped, but tried to make it look like it’s not that big of a deal (when, in reality, it’s a massive thing). but when i’m with other friends or groups in general i don’t know what to say when they offer me alcohol.

i feel stupid because i’m known to be a “heavy drinker” (or, to some people who also drink a lot, “a great company to drink with”), and now i just suddenly… stopped. it looks weird, but i didn’t want my sobriety to be open to other people.

alcohol is so normalized when you’re young that they look at you like you’re crazy for turning it down. i don’t want to tell them that i can’t drink because i’ll never stop and i’ll end up blacked out and ruining the night. but my excuses are not sticking so much because i can’t “feel sick” all the time.

what do you guys say in situations like these? i know that there’s a difference between talking to friends, to acquaintances and to strangers, but i don’t what to say at all. i thought about saying that i’m on some medication, but i don’t know if i would know what to say if someone start to ask more details about it.

i’m sorry for the long post. even though i’m new to this community, i felt safe enough to open up about things i’ve been thinking about. i wanted to know how you dealt with questions in the early weeks. i feel really lonely and ashamed.

iwndwyt

Got sober 1st Feb, it’s been a slog with ups and downs but I think about 6 weeks ago I turned a corner.

Everything is easier, everything is calmer and everything is more enjoyable. Drinking fills maybe 5% of my brain down from 95% when I stopped.

The biggest positive, I enjoy my work again. I’ve climbed the ladder for 20 years and have a decent senior position which for 6 years gave me crippling anxiety, I just wanted to hide from people, get through by doing the bare minimum. Now I’m energised, I’m making changes, I feel respected and able to put myself out there. I’m confident again.

Not to sound like a cliche, but I feel like I found myself again, a version that I genuinely thought was long gone. I’m so much happier already, can’t wait to reach a year +

IWNDWYT

Third week of sobriety. Feeling f*cking fantastic.

It’s like my brain has had a software update. More connected with work. Calmer under pressure. Less anxiety. Able to process things with insane highs and lows

If I hadn’t drunk for the past 20years I’d be a ceo by now 🤣

Just read them, or listen to them on audible. I read Allen Carr’s first and then This Naked Mind, but I think This Naked Mind might better for the majority. Anyway. Read them. I had no idea how much easier this would be if I removed conditioning. And once you are aware of the illusions, they are HARD to unsee.

I have been a drinker since I was 12. I’m now 28. Since I turned 24, I realized I wasn’t able to quit, and it went from hehe college blacking out to a real issue and it was fucking horrible. For the last year, it escalated to the point where I actually was so miserable and I couldn’t find the joy in ANYTHING and since I knew my drinking was a problem, even drinking didn’t provide relief anymore. Alcohol has robbed so many years of my life and stripped away everything I ever enjoyed by putting itself as my number one priority. Both of these books explained to me why this happened. I have not had a craving since finishing them. It’s only been a month, but I haven’t not had a craving in over ten years—even when I went 6-8 month periods of abstaining—until reading these.

There really is nothing to lose. This is the first time in my drinking career that I’ve ever felt free. Give it a shot.

Decided to stop a week ago after drinking heavily again ( I was 45 days sober ) So when I started I started with 10 beers then 300mg vodka up to 800 plus vodka. Decided I would stop slowly by going to 600 - 400 - 300-200, but holy fuck already at 300 I started having visuals such as the most terrible vivid dreams, loud music like crazy it was some weird folkore shit and weird pyramids everywhere. It was scary but I knew I am having a withdrawal. So I had 4 sleepless night before going to the ER and they gave some diazepam injection in my ass. The weird thing is that I was feeling a bit like on MDMA when It was the last day, can't describe it, even my pulpils were super dialed. Anyway went home and slept like a baby. Today I woke up and I am feeling good. Third day, no tremor and no need for alcohol.

I’ve been here before, but today is the day I’m confidently taking control back of my life.

The best I’ve done is 60 days, and that was back in November of last year.

The last year has been a complete rollercoaster. Wife had an affair, said she ended it multiple times, only to find out again and again she was lying to me, despite going to marriage counseling, etc. at the same time. The rollercoaster over that time had me on and off the bus.

We ultimately separated to “work on ourselves,” while still attending marriage counseling. It started off alight, I was not drinking, going to counseling, etc, but only a few weeks into it, I discovered she was still communicating with her affair partner despite her telling me otherwise. Long story short, I filed for divorce two weeks ago.

The time between when we separated (Aug 1st) until today I have maybe 2 days that I did not drink at least a 6 pack, if not more (craft beer is my vice, but I’ll drink anything 🤪). I know I was able to pull my shit together enough to be sober on my 9yo son’s birthday, but other than that, not really.

I’ve been trying to drink myself out of this reality of losing my marriage and only getting to see my two kids 50%, and guess what, it’s not working 😆.

I’m finally ready to step off the rollercoaster and start truly working on myself.

I’ve made it over 24 hours now, and I can do that again tomorrow.

IWNDWYT

My problems still exist but atleast i try to process them instead of drowning them in alcohol. Im actually ashamed i didnt try sobriety earlier, guess it took 17 years to realize i had a problem.

Last time I got this far I lasted 75 days and then my mom died. I hadn’t gone 3 in a row post covid. Not even sure why this time was different. I literally pulled into the store parking lot Sunday evening, sat there and never went in.

Fingers crossed i ride this one out, sobriety feels so much better but it’s so hard to explain why we booze.

IWNDWYT

I've drank heavily for about 3 years now.

I started tapering off from almost a bottle of vodka a night to half a bottle -> bottle of wine to half a bottle -> half a bottle every second day and now cold turkey in the middle of day three, already seeing some cognitive improvement and the only withdrawal I'm having so far is some muscle aches, sleeping pretty shit and a lingering light headache.

Wish me luck, this is the furthest I've got in a while but hopeful because it seems doable for the first time ever.

I'm pretty happy with 90 days. I don't think anyone in my life (who knows I have gone sober) appreciates the mental strength needed to hit this goal. But I am happy. That being said I need to just get things off my chest right now.

I've found time (and more importantly interest) in new things but thry are frustrating! I've taken up fishing but can't get out at good times to fish. I feel like I am always rushing from one thing to the next - trying to slow things down and get them done right feels nice but is so hard. I washed my car today a d took the time to get it nice and clean. Thst feels good. I flew my drone for work a d pleasure (I like thst I can fly for work it is fun). I lost a fishing bottom right at a new spot but I enjoyed being near the water.

My.oldest kid didn't do a single chore around the house and thst frustrated me. Why do I always need to remind her to walk the dog (and really walk him not just 2 minutes for show). And I pick my.youngest up for sports and thry just want to complain to me and make me feel like a shitty parent (which hut a nerve and I yelled and was made so then I felt doubly shitty). And there is no time for.me.to get dinner on the table and my frustration made me skip exercise. Ugh. There is just too much.

OK. Thanks for letting me.get thst off my chest. Let me go reconnect with the youngest and show I am not a bad dad.

Tomorrow will be my third day. I tried multiple times over the past couple of months once I Started to feel like it was getting out of hand, but now my partner is involved with it because it actually affected her this time.

I am 30 and didn’t notice daily beers/cocktails catching up to me. Starting as a few drinks after work to unwind. To losing hobbies that I loved because I’d rather go to a bar. To hiding myself doing a couple of shots in the morning because I had to get rid of the anxiety.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t right so I tried to “cut back”. Only with other people, never alone, type of lies you tell yourself. And I guess I didn’t want to believe that they were lies.

Well this past weekend I blacked out at a club with a dead phone and my partner had no idea where I was. It started for me with a night with friends, a couple of drinks, but after everyone went home and I was in my uber I changed the direction to go back to a club alone to continue to drink.

I got the ultimatum the next day from her saying it’s me or this lifestyle. I am so fearful of becoming a lifelong alcoholic and losing people/myself to this which is something that has been very common in my family unfortunately.

Tomorrow is my third day. I got through 2 bad days of anxiety and awful sleep and guilt and self disgust. I find it crazy to look back and realize that if I hit 4 days it will be the longest I’ve done it in probably 7-8 years. I never realized that.

It helps me to write this out and I appreciate all the posts in here.

Today marks 1 year of my sobriety. I got sober at this time last year after coming to the realization, after a blackout from an open bar wedding, that I didn’t have the self control to continue drinking in a healthy and safe way. I didn’t feel like an alcoholic but I couldn’t moderate my drinking. And looking back on it, I did things while drunk or blacked out that were extremely dangerous, self-destructive, and just downright stupid. Things I don't even want to write about here because I'm so ashamed of them. I was making poor decisions when I drank and was unable to follow the limits I set for myself.

I made a personal decision to quit drinking. I quit for my health, my well-being, and to regain control. I'm a person who has dealt with mental health issues my whole life on top of having an addictive personality (gambling and other vices remain issues that I'm still working on) so I knew full sobriety was my only path forward.

Thanks for reading, I'm pulling and rooting for each and every one of you and IWNDWYT

As i found success in staying sober for more days using Playing The Tape Forward technique, a few patterns became more obvious.

1) i never want alcohol, except when my mind starts cravings. Those cravings are regulated mostly by time. I start craving in the evening. And once the craving is gone, i feel as if i never wanted alcohol. What does that tell me? If the only time i want alcohol during a craving, then i dont "truly" want alcohol.

2) i never regret abstaining in the morning. This one is a bit obvious though.

3) interestingly, i never regret abstaining in the SAME evening that i crave alcohol. There is particular point in time when the store closes and i can not physically buy alcohol. Once that happens i 100% never regretted staying sober. The benefits of sobriety starts to come to me on the SAME day as when i abstain.

4) i am tired of searching things to do in the evening to keep myself sober. I dont want to have special things planned for my evenings. I would prefer to forget alcohol and do whatever i feel like.

5) what i believe about alcohol/abstinence makes ALL the difference. If i think its hard, i will find evidence for why its hard. If i find evidence why its easy, i start to believe its easy. The change in perception does not come in a day. It takes repeated weeks to change my perception, and my sobriety is still far from perfect.

i am practicing "Playing The Tape Forward" for a month already, but last 2 days i have viewed alcohol much more from a 3th person's perspective. I feel like i am wasting my time drinking. I feel like its much easier to play the tape now. I am playing forward the "long term tape".

and I can be here on the couch with him, present and caring, caressing his head and holding him tight. As much as it sucks to see him so disappointed (it fucking hurts my guts and my heart), I am feeling almost euphoric that I can spend this evening sober and being the support he needs right now.

Last night I drank for the first time in almost two months, I wrote done a draft on here to describe how I was feeling

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I know I'm not supposed to post when I'm not sober, so I'm writing this part as a draft, and maybe I'll post it when I'm sober, maybe I won't.

This is just a reminder for me that I don't want to do this again. It's not awful, but I would have had more fun tonight if I didn't drink. I feel hot and sweaty. I ate too much, and made one of my weird drunk dishes that I ate about half of before throwing the rest away. I don't like being like this. I thought I had more fun when I was drunk, but this just kinda sucks. I've only had two ciders, so I'm nowhere near as drunk as I used to get, but I'd still rather be sober. I see tonight as less of a failure and more of a reminder that I really don't need to drink.

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This morning I'm not feeling too great. My stomach feels weird and I was shaky when I first woke up. My dreams weren't as pleasant as they usually are. I didn't have some big dramatic relapse last night, just a reminder that I'm better off not drinking.

I will be a year sober on 12/25 (Christmas was not on purpose, it just happened that way), and I am wanting to do something to celebrate the occasion. I know I am still a couple of months out, but with the holidays, I figured getting started early wouldn't hurt.

So the question here is two part -

1. Did you celebrate your 1 year birthday?

2. If you do, what did you do?

I have been a binge drinker for 20 years (15-35). I have sworn off booze hundreds of times, at least. I have had short stints of sobriety more times than I can count. I have never drank more than maybe 10 days or so in a row. I have never been physically dependent or had withdrawals (yet). Yet, booze has ruled my life, it has held me back in every aspect of life. It has ruined relationships, caused health issues, cost tens on thousands of dollars, limited my potential and caused extensive heartache and pain. My life goes something like this, get sober for a week, maybe two or three, then rip a destructive bender for 2-4 days and pick up the pieces, a hundred times over. Have the occasional stretch of a month or more, experience all the benefits of sobriety, then justify a drink and fall back into the same old lifestyle. I hate this cycle so much but feel stuck. This has to be the end. If this was you, how did you do it ? I’m search for answers

I was so excited for this movie to come out. Bought tickets to see it in one of those nice theaters with recliners and food/drink. Ended up getting shithoused, being a loud jackass in the theater, and not remembering the movie at all. 26 days sober, just started the movie. Gonna eat some soup and grilled cheese, remember my movie, and wake up feeling good for work tomorrow. That is all. Cheers everyone.

I’d like to celebrate 100 days of sobriety, but I am so ashamed of the stories of me, and the way people viewed me in active addiction. I can’t run far away enough from the person I am while I drink, and to give any recognition to the fact that I am not that person, I have to first admit I was that person. I’m still not over it, I think.