I've been a every day drinker for 10 years, ( 31 now ) I have a good job, I can still preform at a high level to sustain my life style. My hands shake, but only drink in mornings if I'm not at work. Can't hold a relationship even tho i'm good looking

So I’ve been drinking quite heavily since my marriage broke down around 4 years ago. I got into another relationship that also didn’t last and ended around 8 months ago and since then the drinking has just ramped up and up.

6-7 beers a night and bottles of wine at the weekend.

I’ve started to feel things, like itchy hands and feet, urine dark sometimes with bubbles Etc. cramps in my legs at night.

Anyway Ive decided just to go cold turkey and what better way with a juice cleanse. I’m at about 29 hours since my last alcoholic drink and all I’ve had to today is different juices I got from some company online. I’m absolutely starving but determined to see this out for 3 days and hopefully I don’t have any serious withdrawals in the meantime.

Wish me luck.

Being done or not done is like everything else. I recently had a slip-up and a friend with many more years of recovery under his belt said to me: "Maybe you're just not done".

No one had ever said that to me right after a slip up before, and it genuinely rubbed me the wrong way. I don't think that's what anyone wants to hear who is genuinely trying. If someone is off to the races unapologetically, for years, that's one thing. I wouldn't have been insulted by it if I hadn't started taking my recovery seriously either. I have been though. I had a year. I was done until I wasn't and now I'm done again.

That's what happens when you don't acknowledge that you're vulnerable and just run on faith because you had a good year. Nothing could possibly knock you off your square, right?

When you say "maybe you're not done yet" you undermine every second of every day I'm sober. There's a bar down the street from my house. I'm not completely broke. I just lost my job and caught a summary offense on probation. If me being sober in these moments while I'm waiting for a call back from my probation officer isn't me being fucking done then tell me what is.

Sincerely: Other people who've felt this way when someone said that to you. I feel your frustration.

Hey everyone,

I've cleared 2 months sober and have been doing pretty well, however I have replaced alcohol with snacks. Healthier? Of course! Sustainable? No!

I start snacking after dinner. I gave myself grace because I was drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and let myself do whatever I needed to get through the evening without going back to my old ways.

When did you guys get to the point of 'that's enough, back to regular diet'?

💗

Anyone got any online resources that might help with quitting. I can go months without, but if the opportunity is there I cant say no.

If there is anything out there where I might find some local help as well that would be extremely helpful

i relapsed and it was sort of a premeditated one so feel like this is my karma now 😭 , but it’s coming up to 72 hours since my last drink and i still feel so weak . initially i was throwing up every 20 mins literally couldn’t keep fluids down but after about 20 hours the throwing up had stopped and i can even eat now not a lot but yk im getting somewhere. is there anything i can do to sorta hurry this up ive hardly been sleeping as well just doomscrolling , i needa clean my room soon and i jus dont think i have the strength . i know its disgusting but when i was throwing up i couldn’t stand even during the times i wasn’t throwing up so i couldn’t get a towel to place my floor is just covered in stomach bile and water ( going to cry even thinking about it lol) but does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

I am an alcoholic and have a problem. I'm fully aware of this and am in no denial about it. I know what I need to do to fix it and, am not sure if I'm physically dependent or not although, I likely am to some extent.

My family knows I have a problem as well. My mom is always asking how I'm doing with alcohol and like any alcoholic, I lie about it...

I don't drink liquor and never have. My choice is light beer and currently drinking 12/day. 4.2% per beer. Sometimes more, sometimes less but average is 12 I'd say. This has been for about a year or so now I think? It's always spread out in a 6-8 hour time span so I'm not like pounding them back in a few hours if that makes any difference..

I've never had the shakes or anything like that and don't "crave" alcohol ever actually. I drink bc I'm bored and enjoy getting drunk while playing Counter Strike lol...

At this point though, it is a problem as it is affecting my sleep and my personal life - as in my apartment primarily - and I don't like how my life is revolving around "drinking time." I am only 38 but feel as if I continue on, I'll at some point be downing a case of beer a night. The booze isn't what I'm concerned about but morso my quality of life and me constantly making my liver sadder and sadder until it decides to say fuck it bro. I'm done.

I have a prescription of Naltraxone which DOES work and it's crazy how well! BUT, I don't take it because I'm scared of the seizures and/or DT's. For me, it 100% blocks any and all buzz from boozee. I am on and have been on anti-seizure meds since I was 14 and last seizure was 20 years ago. So not super worried about seizures but you never know I guess?

To the point here. It's not that I couldn't stop drinking but it's that I'm drinking to prevent withdrawls I suppose. I can easily go 18-24 hours no booze and sure, I get more anxious than normal and likely will sleep like shit but, it's doable. Thats when I start getting nervous though. Supposedly the more severe withdrawls don't come into play till the 48-72 hour mark and bc I live alone...

Part of me just wants to quit and let it play out. Hope for the best. But the sane part of me knows that's probably not the greatest idea, though I genuinely think I'd be fine.

Here's the crazy part though! I don't want to be sober for life. By that I mean I want to be able to drink here and there and idk, maybe I'm dumb but I feel like if I can get my tollerance back to zero or at least minimal, that can happen.

And yes, detox is something I'm considering but can't do it till next year due to no PTO left and need to research if Insurance will cover it

Questions at the bottom, giving a little context.

Assuming this has been posted here before, so my bad.

My dad has been a functional and “secret” drinker over the last ~25 years. He is really a great guy, not a bad drinker in terms of how he acts, but he drinks everyday and from my understanding probably starts before or a little after lunch time depending on the day. He’s got his life together from an outside view.

His health has dramatically decreased over the last 5 years or so. I’ve Ignored his addiction and the repercussions of it for years now but it’s starting to come into my daily thought again due to his health. His skin is puffy and red on his face, his eyes are a light yellow, and he’s always talking about how he is tired all the time. It is hard seeing him around other people his age his body is like 20 years older than theirs. In the face he still looks young but body wise no.

I have tried so many ways to help him in the past, ive been angry before, emotional and crying to him, had “man to man” convos, been loving and accepting, everything.

Around 2023 or so he “quit” drinking but after a couple months the family went on a vacation and he had a beer there and it only got worse after. Should have never let that happen.

My dad knows he has a problem deep down and I believe he is scared to face what it’s done to him so he continues. He hides addiction from everyone and is really good at it unless you live with him. I’ve confronted him this year about his issues and me being concerned, and he admits it. He doesn’t argue back, he knows he has an issue, he knows his health is bad, but the next day it’s like the convo never happened. Sometimes if confronted he’s like a deer in headlights, just stares right through you, like he’s muting everything you’re saying, or maybe he’s dealing with anxiety due to forcing himself to face what he has consciously suppressed for YEARS. I really don’t know.

I feel bad for him, I feel like he is scared. Maybe he “loves” to drink but I have a hard time thinking that, I feel like he is forced to in a way and needs help. I mean there is no way he doesn’t see what’s going on physically to him. How can you get this far and not notice?

To those who have dealt with, dealing with, or just know in general - What does it feel like? What’s the cycle he deals with everyday? Did you know you were ruining your body, or does the addiction fully possess you? How conscious can you truly be when dealing with an addiction like this?

Is there anything I can do to encourage him or guide him onto the right path? I feel like he is alone in the fight and I don’t want him to be, but I also don’t want to feel annoying parenting him on his decisions. I want him to want my help? Is that selfish?

Edit - I’m looking for advice or guidance in how to approach him and help him. I don’t want this to continue without me trying to help him. Also, I have dealt with addiction in the past, although nothing to this extent. I want to understand what he is going through so I can help.

After a complicated social relationship with alcohol I made a fool of myself last weekend and have decided to stop drinking for an extended period of time. I went to a “party school” in the US where I would regularly overdrink with friends but it was so normalized!! After spending a gap year living at home I’m now in grad school in a European country that has heavy drinking culture as well 🫠 I live in a student dorm that’s exactly like an American freshman year dorm so there’s lots of social pressure to drink frequently and heavily. I usually only drink on the weekends but once I start I cannot stop and have to deal with the consequences every Sunday. Now that I’m sober does anyone have advice how to socially navigate? My plan is to bring my own NA drinks to functions but any ideas on what to say when people ask why I’m not drinking??

Hi everyone…
I’m a 48yo woman, healthy eater, physically active/fit, I’m doing everything “right”…. Except for my drinking habits.
I’m averaging a bottle of wine an evening during the week. On weekend days, I start drinking earlier in the day and usually end up drinking more than one bottle.
I want to cut back. I’m scared of the withdrawal symptoms (and yes, Im aware of the irony of being scared of the physical symptoms that may result from stopping something that already making me feel like sh!t physically)
Can anyone speak to this? Similar lifestyle, similar habits? I know everyone is different and futures can’t be predicted, but shared personal experiences may help. ChatGPT only served to scare me

I am recovering alcoholic. Been drinking since 19, started heavy at 22 by drinking around a 350 to a liter hard liquor like vodka until I am 25.

I was very scared one day, went to hospital as I was noticing a small part of my eyes yellowish. They laughed at me and said jaundice is more yellow then the sun. Apparently I went to another one. I couldn't pee as well. So because of me sweating so much at night I couldn't pee. It went ok. ASat alt around 200 both.

After 2 months sober I started the habit again, probably not that hard tho. After 3 weeks I saw the yellowish strain and went for test. Bilirubin was like 4-5 times high ( I am in Europe and I think the norm is up to 20) Mine was like 60

All the liver enzymes were normal.
It scared me because I started having this pain on the right side again so I stopped again.

3 months in I am back on track, started drinking, thought I have ascites as I was heaving difficulty breathing and drinking. Went to the hospital and they kicked me out only after seeing me.

Now I stopped again and I started again and was having tough 2-3 weeks and apparently again they are slightly yellowish, only I can see them under an angle but I know, as well was trying to lower the dose but started having nasty nighmares.
Today I as well decided to go to a therapist, specialist with alcoholism.

… and while at first I felt guilty and frustrated, I’m on day 5 and feel very good and hopeful.

⚠️WARNING: This is not meant as medical advice or anything. I’m sharing this in case there’s someone else out there going through the same and taking the same medication, in which case, we can share our expériences and support each other.

My psychiatrist prescribed me bupropion. I started taking one pill at 6 PM (usually the time when my alcohol cravings would start), and since then I haven’t felt any impulse to drink.

I’m already on fluoxetine to treat my depression. At first it worked very well for a few months, then I went through some hard personal stuff earlier this year so my depression got considerably worse. I started drinking more and more, first it was one can of beer every day, then two, three, even six and if I had had a seventh one at hand I would have drunk it. I would also mix it (wine with dinner, then beer for some sort of dessert.)

I spiraled down and even started to have suicidal thoughts. I would DUI, have mental fogs every single day and put on a lot of weight, around 10 kilos. It has been a nightmare, so I decided I’ve had enough. But I needed help as I had tried to stop drinking several times and had more “Days 1” than I can remember in the last few months.

I’ve been reading about bupropion and saw that it shouldn’t be prescribed when withdrawing from alcohol, but it’s working wonders for me. I don’t have cravings, and I was just OK the other day when having lunch with all the family and wine and beer available.

The first two days I experienced two of the most common side effects: nausea and dry mouth. But it was something I could manage fine.

I feel more energetic so I even resume working out after almost 10 months.

Has anyone been prescribed bupropion to help with alcohol cravings? It’s usually prescribed for people looking to quit smoking. Would appreciate hearing about other people’s experiences.

I've managed a couple of 6 month breaks with no drinking. This past year i was drinking somewhat responsible. At times it was in control going a week without a drink or just stopping at one or two. but then there were times i'd be the occasional binge drinker / weekend warrior even though i didn't go hard every weekend just some random times and special occasions.

Well this past friday I drank too much at a party. once i got home i couldn't sleep because i had the spins really bad and i was just puking and shitting a lot and felt terrible. i made a mess seriously gross.. which i've been cleaning up and I've had to throw some things away and buy new. at least it was in the privacy of my own apartment and nothing that couldn't be replaced relatively easily. But the recovery afterwards and hangover were very rough. it made me rethink my relationship with alcohol and realize i dont get nearly enough back from it vs the pain it causes. I think the only way i can prevent getting the spins and puking is to just not drink at all.

I read a lot about daily drinkers who need help and im not at that point so can't really relate to all that but do relate to the occasional binge drinkers / weekend warriors.

I've had painful experiences like this in the past and it motivates me to quit for a while but for some reason i still fall back into its trap even knowing that the cons outweigh the pros. i guess that's what makes it an addictive substance idk. I do have regrets from it and wish things went differently but am trying to use it as a lesson to not repeat.

Anyway i haven't drank since then and am on day 3 now.

IWNDYWT

My problem was never drinking every day. Id drink probably 3-4 times a month but hangovers were deathly for me. My anxiety would be sky high, id have extremely dark suicidal thoughts, my stomach would be sick and this would last for days. Ive been trying to quit on and off for about 6 years for this reason exactly. Sometimes id go 3, 6, 9 months but id always slip back into drinking. Im 8 days alcohol free and this past weekend felt incredible for me. I had so much energy and enjoyed waking up hangover free, however Ive caught myself a few times today thinking oh maybe I could just have one or two drinks at some social events coming up. This always happens to me once the hangxiety of my last hangover slips away - does anyone else get this? Im really glad I caught what I was doing and corrected my thinking but I worry that some days I wont be that strong and will slip into old patterns.

With booze, even before, I used to be a very different person. I had energy and charisma. Now I'm dull. Peoples eyes kind of glaze over and they yawn at me. I thought I was going nuts but I feel like I died. I dont get the I have so much energy hype of sobriety.

I’ve struggled with alcohol since I first drank in my teenage years. Once I start, it’s nearly impossible for me to stop until I run out of booze or pass out. I had tried so many times to stop and it never stuck. I finally kicked it in August 2024 & it was the hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. The past few months I’d been toying with the idea of having a drink again. I missed letting go and socializing with a drink. On Saturday I did just that, the first couple beers were great and I was happy to spend time with loved ones being silly. Then I got home and found a bottle of wine… I drank the whole thing. I am so embarrassed and feel so much guilt and anxiety. My partner said I was fun and nothing to be embarrassed of but I just let two years go so quick. I struggled so hard to get sober and lost it so fast. I know it’s not the end of the world and I can start again but I feel so defeated.

I just wanted to share some thoughts as someone over a year sober. What I thought would be the hardest:
Going out with friends
Going on vacation
Going to social events
Going to family events
Explaining to others that I’m sober
Learning how to have fun again
Finding new hobbies
Finding ways to fill my time

What was actually the hardest:
Having a miscarriage

All of this to say, dealing with pain and grief really snuck up on me. I was one week away from my 1 year sober date when I had my miscarriage and I hadn’t felt such a strong urge to relapse until that moment. All I could think was I have to escape this feeling, I have to do anything to make this go away. I did NOT drink and I am so grateful for that but I am posting this to remind others how this evil disease of addiction can sneak up on you even when you think you might be in the clear from the worst of it. I thought my first few months would be the worst but what was really the hardest part was being faced with immense grief and sadness and having to take it head on

Feeling mostly better. My nose and sinuses are still blocked up but my stomach's mostly back to normal and I've lost that shivery flu feeling.

Even though I felt sick I've been writing. I've started sharing some of it over on the creative writing sub, which I've never done before. If anyone is interested there are links in my profile. I hope this doesn't count as self promotion, I'm just trying something new. I'm not making any money off it.

For a long time I was unable to write while drunk. Then I learned to, but I'd often have to go back and redo/delete things I wrote under the influence. Then I got used to it and became able to do it. When I stopped drinking, I stopped writing for a while. Now I'm back, and in the last six days I've written over 10,000 words. That's the freedom I keep describing.

IWNDWYT

this is my first post in this community! i’m new here and new to sobriety as well.

for context, i’m in my early 20’s. i decided to quit drinking after some years with a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it made me hate myself. i’m two weeks sober today! i know it’s not much, but i’m proud of myself. it’s the first time in years that i’ve gone that much time without it.

the reason why i’m writing this post is because i don’t know what to say to my friends (and people in general) when they ask me why i’m not drinking. the excuse i’ve been saying is that “i’m feeling sick” or something like that, but it only can get me so far.

i really wanted this journey to be private. i feel ashamed to be sober in such a early age, where everyone seems to be drinking and partying and having fun, and i can’t have that because i don’t know how to drink in moderation. i’m scared of telling friends because what if i relapse? what if i can’t do it? i’m afraid to tell my friends i quit just for them to find me drunk some time later and be disappointed.

that’s why i didn’t want anyone to know. so far, i told very few close friends that i stopped, but tried to make it look like it’s not that big of a deal (when, in reality, it’s a massive thing). but when i’m with other friends or groups in general i don’t know what to say when they offer me alcohol.

i feel stupid because i’m known to be a “heavy drinker” (or, to some people who also drink a lot, “a great company to drink with”), and now i just suddenly… stopped. it looks weird, but i didn’t want my sobriety to be open to other people.

alcohol is so normalized when you’re young that they look at you like you’re crazy for turning it down. i don’t want to tell them that i can’t drink because i’ll never stop and i’ll end up blacked out and ruining the night. but my excuses are not sticking so much because i can’t “feel sick” all the time.

what do you guys say in situations like these? i know that there’s a difference between talking to friends, to acquaintances and to strangers, but i don’t what to say at all. i thought about saying that i’m on some medication, but i don’t know if i would know what to say if someone start to ask more details about it.

i’m sorry for the long post. even though i’m new to this community, i felt safe enough to open up about things i’ve been thinking about. i wanted to know how you dealt with questions in the early weeks. i feel really lonely and ashamed.

iwndwyt

Hey again, recently hit 6 months alcohol free. It feels like I’ve just gotten rid of any peace I’d be able to feel, everyday for 6 months.

I have been thinking about relapse, the urges stronger than ever a little before I hit the anniversary, and now that it’s after, I’m hanging on by less than a thread.

All my methods aren’t working, I’ve lost basically all motivation to be sober. I’m so tired and nothing takes the edge off. I’ve tried all my old hobbies, go to therapy regularly, on medication by my psychiatrist.

Going through a rough patch in life right now and I’ve been through worse, and I used to drink extra when something bad happened (duh), but now it doesn’t even take a catastrophic event for me to want to drink because I’ve been unhappy for so long. This buildup has led to even the smallest thing feeling too much for me. At the end of the day, nothing compares to that relief a drink gives me. The worst part is I’m willing to pay the price and gamble of it going all downhill again. Nothing is enjoyable, I’ve been anhedonic and more miserable than ever these 6 months.

I don’t even want to get to a meeting and I usually want to. I haven’t gotten my 6 month chip and don’t even want it at this point. I WANT to WANT this, but I don’t.

I don’t know what to do.

and I can be here on the couch with him, present and caring, caressing his head and holding him tight. As much as it sucks to see him so disappointed (it fucking hurts my guts and my heart), I am feeling almost euphoric that I can spend this evening sober and being the support he needs right now.

Tomorrow will be my third day. I tried multiple times over the past couple of months once I Started to feel like it was getting out of hand, but now my partner is involved with it because it actually affected her this time.

I am 30 and didn’t notice daily beers/cocktails catching up to me. Starting as a few drinks after work to unwind. To losing hobbies that I loved because I’d rather go to a bar. To hiding myself doing a couple of shots in the morning because I had to get rid of the anxiety.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t right so I tried to “cut back”. Only with other people, never alone, type of lies you tell yourself. And I guess I didn’t want to believe that they were lies.

Well this past weekend I blacked out at a club with a dead phone and my partner had no idea where I was. It started for me with a night with friends, a couple of drinks, but after everyone went home and I was in my uber I changed the direction to go back to a club alone to continue to drink.

I got the ultimatum the next day from her saying it’s me or this lifestyle. I am so fearful of becoming a lifelong alcoholic and losing people/myself to this which is something that has been very common in my family unfortunately.

Tomorrow is my third day. I got through 2 bad days of anxiety and awful sleep and guilt and self disgust. I find it crazy to look back and realize that if I hit 4 days it will be the longest I’ve done it in probably 7-8 years. I never realized that.

It helps me to write this out and I appreciate all the posts in here.

I found out that for some reason, if I write and sign a literal paper contract with myself in the morning, that I am able to decide to not drink later. This is the only way that I have found (so far) that prevents my doing the mental gymnastics in the evening, wherein I inevitably give in and get wasted. It feels so silly and arbitrary, but I just write in my journal:

“I ____ will not drink alcohol today” and sign/date it.

Then, whenever I have the urge, I just think “ah shit, can’t do that, bound by the contract.” It’s so silly but it has worked for a few days now. Hoping to keep it up for as long as possible. If anyone else is very forgetful/has ADHD, or is good at reasoning your way out of decisions you previously made, this might be a good thing to try!

I’m not really sure why I’m posting, but I don’t really have anyone to explain this to.

I went 7.5 years sober. Through that time I lost my Nan and my dog in that time, and on neither occasion did I even contemplate reaching for a drink. If anything, I was grateful I was sober.

Then 7 months ago, me and my family moved 4 hours away to be closer to my family who all had moved to the area.

Before the move I’d started thinking of drinking again, so I could at least come back to my home area to socialise with my best mate (how stupid is that after that much time!?). Ironically we don’t see each other much these days as family and work life can take up a lot time. But the relationship we had previously was heavily focussed on being at the pub. He has always been there on the end of the phone even though we don’t meet up often. Sadly I think it’s because I avoided doing so otherwise it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking anymore, like I was almost embarrassed.

We met up a couple of times beforehand, and he helped us move. I’d always kept my sobriety relatively private, as if it was more casual like I could occasionally drink than a big deal. Which wasn’t true and I’d hide it with an excuse like I’m driving, or up early the next day when we did meet up. It was more through fear that the friendship would somehow be worth less, now it wasn’t filled with the drinking side.

Anyway, within 2 weeks of relocating I found myself drinking for the first time. Almost so I could have a reason to have a reason to go back home and maintain that old social aspect of my life with my friend. It’s been 6.5 months since that first drink and I’m now back to drinking regularly. The heart palpitations and anxiety is awful and I feel so ashamed that I’ve let this get the better of me.
I’m not even sure if any of this even makes sense, and to be honest I’m trying to make sense of it all myself even now.

I guess what I’m trying to say, along with getting it off my chest somewhere, is please don’t ever get complacent. Treasure that time you’ve achieved. I was 100% convinced I’d beaten the addiction, yet it found its way back in at a time that didn’t even seem like a vulnerable point until now when I look back at it.

Day 1 completed again.

Just read them, or listen to them on audible. I read Allen Carr’s first and then This Naked Mind, but I think This Naked Mind might better for the majority. Anyway. Read them. I had no idea how much easier this would be if I removed conditioning. And once you are aware of the illusions, they are HARD to unsee.

I have been a drinker since I was 12. I’m now 28. Since I turned 24, I realized I wasn’t able to quit, and it went from hehe college blacking out to a real issue and it was fucking horrible. For the last year, it escalated to the point where I actually was so miserable and I couldn’t find the joy in ANYTHING and since I knew my drinking was a problem, even drinking didn’t provide relief anymore. Alcohol has robbed so many years of my life and stripped away everything I ever enjoyed by putting itself as my number one priority. Both of these books explained to me why this happened. I have not had a craving since finishing them. It’s only been a month, but I haven’t not had a craving in over ten years—even when I went 6-8 month periods of abstaining—until reading these.

There really is nothing to lose. This is the first time in my drinking career that I’ve ever felt free. Give it a shot.