After I had ordered, a little old lady came to me and said, "Aren't you polite. You have such lovely manners."

It was my complimentary nan

At the flee market.

He duct

Anti-semantic

If only I had known she had a history of violins

One has terrible lunchlines.

Prime mates.

Not Happy.

So I put a gallon of apple juice in my pickup and called it a Cider Truck.

He frowned, “Och, hell naw! Ah’m fae Scotland!!”

So that they can tell witch is which!

But I'm sure it's one you've herbivore.

Mommy: Now come on Timmy, you know you have to go in. After all, you're the headmaster.

Second hand stores.

It was a gabaghoul.

that's not a good sign

Did you hear about the burglar who fell into a cement mixer?
Now he’s a hardened criminal.

I said I didn’t know he could.

At the second-hand store.

Because they taste like sheet.

I work a customer facing position in a mine. Nonetheless, it has to be clean, and id prefer funny. I made the mistake of telling a couple nice ones from this sub, and now its expected! Agh! The pressure is awful! I love that people now want a silly dad joke , (which im serious about), but i am not a dad! I dont have them! Can you guys help me? The best ones are simple and short. Like, what three letter word starts with gas? Car! Why dont monsters eat ghosts? Because they taste like sheet! That ones a little close to HR, but you get the idea. Seasonal ones are awesome. It makes peoples day a little softer on the intro. Please help me!

A lycan trope

Then I start feeling a little boulder.