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I just finished a 3km jog around the compound. My son and his cousin joined me, although I don't think they had much energy left after playing football all morning with friends and cousins

Now I'm enjoying some fresh sugarcane, and the boys are learning how to eat it straight from the cane. Sugarcane farming is the main source of income for people in this area.

The boys are still playing football every day, and I'm enjoying being a dad to a little village gang. My son, his cousins and the friends he's made here are always together, running around and playing.

I'm also trying to teach them something important: the importance of staying in school. Unfortunately, most children in the village drop out because of poverty, limited opportunities, or simply losing sight of what education can do for them. I want these boys to understand that they can enjoy being kids while still taking their education seriously.

For now, it's football, sugarcane and village life. I've been running, staying active, enjoying the quiet, and taking a break from the usual pressures of life.

I took my 4 year old son to a pumpkin patch/theme park, and we had a fantastic time eating, playing, getting scared, everything you could want from such a place.

Well, he particularly loved these- I guess they're called Spun Chairs- and kept going back to play on them some more. One time, they were all in use, and we waited as these 2 women were playing around on one. One rolled off backwards, laughing, before standing and walking off with her friend.

My son ran up to her chair, grabbed something out of it, and took off. I saw that it was a phone in his hand, and before I could say anything, he reached the two women, handed it back to them, and turned to go back to the chairs.

I was stunned. He did this without hesitation, without needing instruction. I bought him ice cream and, for the rest of the night, couldn't stop telling him how proud of him I was. We watched the fireworks from those chairs.

What a powerful feeling.

For full context, I am divorced and re-married about 7 years ago. I have a good working relationship with my son's mom and we help each other when needed. Our child schedule might be a little different as I have the kids Friday afternoon to Monday morning, so I have the kids 3 nights and she has them 4. This works for our schedule and I have enjoyed it because I have them all weekend and are able to have lots of quality time them .

Anyway, I had a talk with my son this past weekend about chores as he really has been pushing back against doing any chores. The reason he gave me why he doesn't want to do any chores is because he doesn't feel like our house is his house.......when he thinks of home, he thinks of his mom's house. He looks at my/our house as someplace he goes to for the weekend. Hearing this made me sad as I've always worked on having a place that I thought he would love. When I bought the house , he helped choose the house that we bought.

I suppose the hardest part for him is that when I bought the house , it was 20 minutes away from his mom's and all of his friends live near her . He can't just walk out the door and walk over to the park with them.....he needs a ride . I understand that not having the freedom to hang out with his friends without a ride can be frustrating.

Just reeling a bit as I'm just learning he doesn't feel like he is at home when he is at our/his house.

Made my son a Bo Staff with some scrap pex and electrical tape for his Donatello costume (Or “Ninja Turtle Donnie” if you ask him).

I’m setting the over/under for him assaulting somebody and getting it taken away at a generous 15 minutes. Who’s in?

I got my daughter the illustrated edition of The Hobbit pictured above for Christmas and it's been an incredible success, we're currently halfway through our 3rd read through. Her birthday is coming up and I was wondering if you all had any suggestions on something similar, a grand adventure with decent/somewhat frequent illustrations? Also fwiw, I can't recommend that edition of The Hobbit enough it's really wonderful

Edit: I forgot to mention, she's turning 6

Trigger warning for a traumatic birth experience. But in the end, things were okay.

I suppose true hubris for any new father is thinking you can predict the future. I had thought my wife would start contractions and they'd get stronger, we'd call, we'd see if we needed to go to the hospital. Then we'd get there, she'd be in labor, she'd push, we get our golden hour and all of our congratulations.

Holy fucking shit that is not what happened.

Here's the story. First child inbound. The night prior I get home from work around midnight. Wife feels fine. No contractions she says. 40 weeks on the dot. Okay, I guess I'll go to bed and go to work in the morning.

5 am I wake up to her on all fours howling saying we have to go. I get up, get our stuff together, throw it in the car and call ahead. Didn't even ask about the contractions - heard her screaming and said "do you want an ambulance escort?"

Hospital is close so I say no and hit the road. She's in the back seat. I'm thinking this baby is literally coming out in the car. We get to the hospital and as I'm trying to get the car valet, she walks in the front doors and falls to the floor. They rush her to emergency maternity. Almost fully dilated. The check up the day before had her at 2 cm. Baby is coming out and coming soon.

They give her an epidural which for months she insisted against but the pain was too much. Finally calms down and it's time to push. She's pushing, pushing, pushing. One of the doctors says the baby's heart rate is dropping. The other insists the monitor isn't on correctly. I start panicking but continue to help how I can. (Not much)

By 10 am they confirm her heart rate isn't stable and we gotta get this baby out. We decide to vacuum. Now I'm really panicking, legs are weak, shit is getting crazy.

Baby starts to come out and gets stuck. She isn't breathing. Thirty people, I shit you not, rush in. Nurse is pulling baby out and I'm about to pass out from all the commotion. 10:14 she's out, spits up meconium, and finally breathes. They take her from us and I still don't hear her crying. After only a second or so but what feels like eternity I hear her cry and I start sobbing with relief. It's over, she's born and we can have her.

They let us hold her and she's so beautiful. We got through it, my wife is a champion.

Just kidding. Off to the NICU! Might have an infection from the meconium. Awesome. White blood cell count is high. Sooooo cool!!!! They say it may be from stress, maybe infection. Have to rule it out. On antibiotics she goes. I am finally allowed to visit her in the NICU after an hour and they tell me we may not bring her home for FIVE DAYS.

At this point I'm a wreck. But I'll fast forward.

NICU stay only takes three days and she didn't have an infection, thank God. They do every test under the sun and she's perfectly healthy. We finally bring her home.

To top it all off, by the last day at the hospital I am sick as a dog and pounding DayQuil. So even the drive home wasn't the experience I had in mind and I have to wear a mask around my daughter the first night we ever have her home and can't kiss her.

But the thing is, it all worked out. It was so unbelievably scary. And this whole time my wife is fine. She works in a hospital and has experience with these things. I am just an idiot musician who has spent most of his life around psychotic people without ever having conventional jobs. I've no experience with hospital talk, or medical talk, or any of this. I'm just a dad doing my best.

Fast forward again to last night when I wake up from a quick nap at 2 am and baby is downstairs while my wife, generally not the most emotional person, is playing love songs to my daughter while she rests in the bassinet besides her.

I just went into the bathroom and silently cried. I have never been so relieved or felt so lucky in my entire life.

Called the pediatrician and he suggested to watch the poop for 3 days. I'm so worried though! Any other dads with similar experience? Kinda freaking out..

My wife and I had very different teenage experiences after we got our driver's license. I am not sure where to find a balance.

I had to pay for my own gas and insurance and my parents offered to loan me money for a vehicle at no interest. Due to that, I managed mostly with a bike or gave gas money to friends when they drove. She was given a car and had all related expenses paid from her parents in full. My oldest son just got his license. My wife wants to do it like she had it and I think we should do it like I had it. For some more context, my son has so concept of work or money. He barely even does any chores, I want him to get a job that does 2 shifts a week and bike to it like I did at 16. It's tough out there, I want to help him but also want to prepare him for reality.

What do you all do? What do you suggest or think works or doesn't work?

Red Delicious apples are the three truths and a lie of the fruit world.

Hey fellow dads! Lego and Gaming is a great thing if you be a dad, i think🥰

If you like zelda, we also made a video from it with all the sound, music and bit of a story🥳

https://youtu.be/YDes6mTK4U4?is=wM31k6H_Q8HSDRDo

Yesterday I picked up my just turned 5 yr old from his after care, and literally picked him up off the ground to hug and kiss him and he said "I dont like kisses at school". So I said "Oh ok no problem, no kisses then" and set him back down as though nothing happened.

Mind you I do this on most days because he always has been a huggy/kissy type of kid and I enjoy the affection too. But something about the way he said this hit me slowly in waves. Because he added the "at school" at the end on purpose. So it dawned on me that the age of self-consciousness and self-image is already starting.

I guess I just didnt expect it to be this soon lol.

With the great day of candy acquisition approaching, I'm genuinely begging you all to stop driving to the "nice" neighborhoods to trick-or-treat if at all possible.

I've lived in three different neighborhoods in my city. All were perfectly safe, walkable, and had a decent mix of families and people of all ages. None have had any trick-or-treaters in years. Because everybody drives to one of three wealthier neighborhoods across town.

We now live on the outskirts of one of those neighborhoods, so we get to witness the other side of this from 2 blocks away. And I've got a few gripes.

• The traffic is ridiculous.

Every road is packed with cars, both from across town and from smaller communities outside the city. And probably half the people out there aren't even getting out of their cars. They're just slowly cruising the streets while their kids hop out to hit houses. It gets so congested that it's just straight up unsafe.

• You're screwing over your own neighbors.

This is my biggest gripe. At every house we've lived in, we've decorated, bought candy, and gotten maybe one or two knocks all night. My wife loves holidays, and it genuinely guts her every year.

And I know we're not the only ones. There are people in your neighborhood who would love to hand out candy, see the kids in costumes, and participate in Halloween. But after a few years of nobody showing up, why would they keep bothering? Then fewer people decorate, fewer people buy candy, and the neighborhood becomes even less appealing the next year. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• The candy jackpot is mostly a myth.

The whole "go to the rich neighborhood for full-sized candy bars" thing is overblown. I can think of maybe one house in our town that does it, and they're out by 6 p.m. anyway. After that, you're getting the same miniature candy you could've gotten anywhere else.

• It's gotten so bad that some neighborhoods are doing their own pre-trick-or-treating.

At least around here, some of the popular neighborhoods have started doing early Halloween activities just for their own kids because they know the rest of the city will show up an hour later.

You can call that exclusionary if you want, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree. But it's pretty sad that a neighborhood feels like it has to carve out a private window for its own children just to enjoy Halloween before the crowds arrive.

Halloween isn't a "rich-neighborhood"-exclusive holiday. Odds are good that if this stopped happening, your neighborhood might just be worth trick-or-treating in, too.

Sure, your kids might come home with a few more off-brand Jolly Ranchers and Tootsie Rolls instead of Snickers and Sour Patch Kids. But do we really think they care that much? They're little kids in costumes getting free candy from their neighbors, that's the whole point.

It might take a couple of years to turn things around. Neighborhoods that haven't seen trick-or-treaters in a decade aren't going to magically bounce back overnight. Maybe organize a block party or get a few neighbors together to decorate? I don't know.

Caveat: I'm talking about a solidly suburban city of about 100,000 people, where perfectly walkable neighborhoods are being bypassed for a handful of popular destinations. If you live somewhere genuinely unsafe or so spread out that walking door-to-door isn't practical, obviously that's a different story. But when 20,000 kids descend on a neighborhood of roughly 300 homes, maybe we've collectively lost the plot a little.

I’m traveling alone with my 7 child soon and I want to make sure I’m prepared and being responsible. We'll be around for about 4 weeks and we'll be having a flight but driving to some places too so I’m packing a few familiar things to help keep the change in routine easier for them. I’m also a little worried about them picking up bugs while we’re away, especially in crowded places. What do you usually bring to keep your kids comfortable and help them stick to healthy habits while traveling? Any tips for managing long travel days solo with a child would be appreciated

I've been thinking for a while about whether this is worth posting. I'm a dad of an 8 month old girl, our first, and months 2–4 nearly broke us.

The first 1–2 months were pure euphoria. Then the hard part started. Sleep, feeding, pretty much everything was a struggle. Some days she cried all day long. The worst were the nights she wouldn't sleep, followed by days she didn't want to eat. We simply weren't prepared, and we didn't write anything down.

So we started writing down what happened with her, day by day. The idea was to slowly build some kind of routine that way. Honestly, nothing changed at first. But after about two weeks we started seeing improvements in her sleep and feeding.

Here's what I'd tell parents who are still struggling with this (or have it ahead of them). Before I start, just to be clear: this is what worked for us. Every baby is different, and everyone has to find what works for their own baby. For us it was:

1. Be patient. We're humans, not robots. Some days are bad, really bad. Colic, teeth (and sometimes just attitude...).
2. Write down your baby's day somehow. It builds a routine for you and for the baby. Feeding 15–20 minutes early or late is fine, same with sleep. For us the limit is 30 minutes. Yes, some days she still cries a lot, but there are fewer and fewer of them.
3. Make sure your baby plays enough to burn off all that energy. We only figured this out in the last few months. If the baby won't fall asleep, often there's just too much energy left.
4. Try to feed at the same times every day. Yes, sometimes the baby will cry more because they're hungry, but try to hold off as long as you can. If there's an hour left until the next feed, distract the baby as much as possible. And yes, we've fed her 30–40 minutes early too, there are days like that. The goal is to keep them the exception.
5. Sometimes we've helped her nap a bit longer, sometimes we've woken her up early, depending on her age (2 or 3 naps). We stretched naps because otherwise she got overtired too early and the whole schedule shifted. And we woke her up because of the opposite problem: if she sleeps too much during the day, she won't sleep in the evening because she's well rested (same with adults).
6. It's a team effort. My wife and I both keep track of what's happening with our little one, so whoever's on shift (or away) knows when she last ate or slept without bothering the other.

We've learned that consistency is the key. These days the most fun part of the day is playing with her, and the most boring part is after she falls asleep (cleaning, tidying, cooking, laundry... hope she grows up fast so she can start helping :D).

i have a policy through work and was about to get a term policy for myself. shes leaving her job in march when the baby comes. a coworker said we need coverage on her too even though she wont have an income, which honestly i hadnt thought about. is that a real thing or is it overkill?

My 5 year old and 3 year old, really love dogs. Many people around us have one, so they are always excited to pet and play with one. Getting her own family dog is the #1 request from my oldest to Santa, to the wishing well, to the universe. My wife and I usually gently brush off the topic. But lately my wife is also warming up to the idea of getting a dog and all the good things that come with it. She is now giving it a serious thought. Financially or space wise, we should be reasonably fine as well.

That said, I am absolutely not for getting a dog. Neither my wife or I had pets growing up, so we have zero experience. I am only a couple of years away from 40 and can only see new responsibilities and vet bills instead of unconditional love from a new adorable family member. I feel like I missed my window (before kids) of getting one and now won't have the energy to train and keep up with the dog.

Fellow dads, anyone think getting a pet this far out is a good idea? More importantly has anyone been in a similar boat, wherebthey became first time pet parents after having kids and it worked out for you?

There was a post on here a while ago about dad shoes. Somebody mentioned these bad boys. They are on Amazon for 25% off right now. Sensible deal.

As soon as I slipped them on, I felt the uncontrollable urge to subscribe to Consumer Reports. I made a comment to my wife about when my neighbor was thinking about starting to work on the leaves in his yard. I felt compelled to announce that the days are getting shorter.

Join me brothers

Tell without telling that we live in a rural county. If my child ask what a flask is, do I get one out and show her, or wait until she goes to college and learns herself? 😂

Just went with my wife to the doctor and we got confirmation that we will have a healthy baby boy. I'm so excited but I'm sure I am not yet comprehending the magnitude of the moment.

Skipping ahead, he's fine.

Basically, my wife and I went to the cinema with friends. Trusted baby sitter is with him and my 2 year old. She clearly thought he was asleep and was getting the youngest to sleep. He crept downstairs, unlocked the door and went outside topless and with no shoes. All the way down the road.

I literally only saw him because the doorcam notification popped up on my phone as the movie was starting and I thought it was a bit late. Called the baby sitter immediately and the road WhatsApp group. Baby sitter found him 1 minute later.

He's not thick, but he is diagnosed as autistic but is very high functioning and social, just clearly lacking in common sense.

How do I react/explain what he did is wrong? Please bear in mind I've already told him don't answer the door to strangers, don't go outside without mummy or daddy etc.

Edit- thank you for all the suggestions. I've had a talk with him about it. Not sure how much went in, so I've also ordered some child locks for the front door

Hello, fellow dads.

Starting in April of 2026, I began reading again for the first time in more than a decade and have since completed more than 30 books or, perhaps better put, over 20,000 pages. The kicker is that I don’t really have much of anyone to talk about with these stories. My wife and I share many similar interests, of course, and we share one or two series in common, but the vast majority of our passions differ when it comes to reading. Moreover, I think it is important that partners find hobbies outside of their intimate relationship the same as they should hobbies shared with said intimate person. Unfortunately, I’m about to hit 40, and as I’m sure many of you and certainly many news articles can attest to, the “male loneliness epidemic” has not treated me very kindly.

In light of the above, I would like to start or join a small but committed group of similarly-minded individuals to combat both the “male loneliness epidemic” as well as the “male reading epidemic” or however else those two issues might be coined. I don’t seek people who agree with me in everything, of course, but I will state a few admittedly personal things about myself and welcome any direct/private messages of interest.

Age: 39
Religion: Agnostic
Residence: United States
Political Ideology: Liberal (for an American)
Literary Preferences: “Speculative Fiction” (Science Fiction, Fantasy, LitRPG, etc.), Philosophy, Historical Fiction, and Science (Theory or Case Study)

Thank you for your time and consideration.

- Khan

Don't be afraid to make noise when you're kids are sleeping. My wife and I have never once turned down the tv/music/our own voice while the kid was sleeping. We got her a sound machine for her and just do what we would as normal. Yeah we woke her up a few times, and yeah that sucks. But shes slept like a rock since she was very little.

I play Forza and watch movies at theater level with an 7.4.2 sound system and she doesn't flinch. I play my electric guitar at mid levels and she's fine. All this from across the hall with the doors open. She's 13 now and still doesn't bother her.

My brother and sister in law used to tip toe around their house. They would invite us over and we'd have to watch a movie on closed caption. It was miserable and I swore I wouldn't do that.

YMMV of course, but it worked for me.

My son is almost 15 months and he’s starting to talk a little more. Words like duck, ball, dada, dog, manny lol - my lizards name. The question is tho is that he won’t say mama unless he’s crying. When he’s happy and sees mom he still says dada, he says it for both of us. He said mama first but once he started saying dada he stopped saying mama. Anyone else have this issue or is this not really an issue at all? Thanks!

Gonna rant but need some advice on how to turn the ship around. We have a 2 year old girl (she’ll be 3 in December) and a 9 month old girl. We moved a little over a year ago to be closer to my family and my wife quit her job to make the move. She’s been a stay at home mom for the first time (plan to return to work fully next September).

Since this new baby I’ve been getting consistent feedback from my wife that I care more about the girls than her. In an essential way, that’s true, but they’re also babies and therefore need more love and attention. It’s showing up in moments where I have no more patience to give, or co-parenting nit picks or comments that simply make me respond with sarcasm and a terse tone.

I’ve been chewed out for this both in and out of couples counseling sessions (my idea btw) but it happened again just now after I was short this morning. Our 9mo has been sick 7 of the last 8 weeks as her immune system builds and we’re not sleeping well. So in the mornings I try to let my wife sleep in while I prep everything and juggle the girls. She asked me some questions this morning during handoff and I didn’t snap but I wasn’t levelheaded, and man…I’m just tired of it all.

It feels like there’s no time for a relationship and I don’t have the patience to be a loving and kind husband. My cup is just empty. Anybody feel this way?

She's three and a half, close to four. She has a cold and is coughing a great deal when she lies down to the point she continually wakes herself up. It's all the mucus running into the throat. I'm not here to talk about her though, it's me that needs support.

Every time i hear her cough on the monitor I hate it so much. I don't know how I'll get any sleep at all tonight. Every time she coughs badly I feel so sorry for her it's stressing me out. And I can't turn the monitor off because what if she needs me!

Honestly, it's ruining her sleep but it's ruining mine worse. I just want her to be well and stop coughing so she can sleep.

I need to get over this somehow. I know it's not a reasonable reaction to an otherwise well child with a cold but it bothers me so much. She's not terribly ill. Two hours ago she was running round shouting "I'm energy girl!". It's just when she lies down. I'm fully aware there are children much sicker than her.

Does anyone else feel like this, and how to you manage?