Anyone had the same thing and how did you cope ? I feel like I’m going crazy and sabotaging the relationship by being suspicious of him constantly. LDR

do you ever feel like you’re lowkey agreeing with the thoughts, urges, and feelings? like there’s someone inside you, i don’t know what’s the exact words to use.

like when ocd gives you an intrusive thought and you don’t try to fight with it. and you lowkey feel like your inner self is agreeing with it, then you freaked out thinking “did i just agreed with it? am i bad person, i need to confess right now”

‘cause it happens to me a lot and it never fails to make me panic every single time.

okay HI! never really posted before so if i “do it wrong” TELL ME. sooo ive struggled with my fair share of mental health issues and recently went to a psychiatrist who has diagnosed me with ocd and recommended sertraline (PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THATS A GOOD IDEA)

so since i got diagnosed ive been doing research on it and see myself a lot in some of the stuff but then in my head im very much “is this me or am i just lying” specifically with ROCD for the last 4-5 years of my life i randomly remove friendships out of my life because they don’t “feel right” or ill genuinely perceive that they hate me when they don’t. it really ruins alot of aspects of my life becuase ill finally get friends and then ill convince my self i will have to remove them out of my life and then im alone again. i never have really had this with romantic relationships. is this ROCD??

I have rocd and definitely some child hood trauma. I started erp several months ago but unfortunately had to stop as I lost my health insurance. Maintaining ERP practice without my therapist has been difficult. Being unemployed and no therapy my ocd has worsened, was going okay at first but getting worse now.

As I try to compartmentalize what compulsions and obsessions and triggers I need to work on, I get overwhelmed with the sheer fact that there are so many and so many overlapping that it feels quite impossible to even tackle it or know where to begin. I end up overwhelmed and feeling hopeless that I will never heal all of my problems.

I find ROCD to be so challenging for both parties involved becsuse it is hard to tell what’s ocd and what’s a real relationship challenge. It’s also hard bc naturally most relationships require a level of reassurance and words of affirmation but hard to distinct what’s a normal amount on recieve and give VS what is OCD/ reassurance seeking.

Here are a few of my obsessions that have been most apparent lately. Maybe someone who has been through this can give some guidance on where to start:

- the need for my bfs words of affirmation to be said “just right” and if he doesn’t say them “correctly” and exactly as my ocd intended, I will continue to press for more reassurance or ask him to say it differently
- in any minor disagreement or conflict, needing to make sure he completely understands me and my feelings and emotions 100% and checking w him over and over before being able to feel I can move on / things are fully resolved
- spending a lot of time when apart ruminating on if things have changed, my feelings have changed, if he truly loves me, is this the right relationship for me
- over analyzing texts with him throughout the day and monitoring how he texts me (once again very “just right”. If he is texting shorter than usual, jumping to conclusions and feel like something isn’t right)
- over monitoring tone, moods and behavior also when in person
- making passive aggressive comments about our relationship, behaviors in our relationship, or something my ocd is bothered by to try to get him to change the behavior and/or give me the reassurance I’m looking for
- obsessively montoring my ocd on chapt gpt and essentially ranting about my ocd to chat trying to get it to help me out of spirals and bring me back down to earth bc I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not
- feeling extreme guilt and shame after coming out of a loop and convincing myself I will never heal and am better off alone

Gosh reading this back I am a nightmare but I am very blessed to have a partner that has been patient and sees enough good in me to stick by my side, although has been challenging for both of us.

Pretty much title. I constantly get notifications from [r/breakups](r/breakups) and other subs where people talk about getting cheated on, losing feelings, their spouse losing feelings, abusive relationships, incompatibilities.

And the worst thing is, I didn’t even interact with most of these subs, so it’s just daily exposure for me at this point, I had to mute it because it triggered me after a while, but on the other hand it kinda helped reading these stories for exposure lol.

Listen I haven’t watched the podcast since 2019 and I was a dumb young adult. I think they are terrible people. But when celebrities with long standing relationships that seem committed on the outside end, I spiral about my relationship and the possibility of living in a false reality that my partner wants me to believe.

Just fresh out of a spiral and recognizing just how harmful chatgpt was in my last spiral. Its a direct link into a reassurance compulsion and I'd advise everyone to avoid it at all costs.

Good luck all

I have this diet ocd and it got mixed with the religious ocd . Anyone is a considerable person and could help me with this professionally and personally . Kindly reach out and , also some who have good friendship ideas . I want to reconnect with my old friendships . Broken relationship

For those who were in denial about having ROCD what was it like? Did you reflect back on prior relationships with remorse?

I was recently discarded by a partner who I had great alignment with for over a year based on what she referred to as a gut feeling during the breakup while also acknowledging I was everything she wanted in a partner. It led me to learn about ROCD and I realized it maps to her perfectly.

Beyond the textbook ending she displayed many other signs of ROCD like getting squeamish around the "girlfriend" label and avoided being in photos together. During sex, she would go from incredibly turned on to completely checked out in an instant due to hyper-analyzing her attraction in the moment and also was bisexual. She engaged in reassurance seeking, such as asking if she loved me or I her, saying she went to friends about her doubts, and tried to see me more for reassurance she cared about me.

I could go but it aligns very clearly and she broke up very suddenly after on a girls trip her friends had pressured her that at 10 months she should just know whereas before that things were fine with her reason for breaking up being something as trivial as the equivalent of saying she didn't like the way I cut my carrots therefore things just had to end between us.

I've heard of stories where people are presented with info on ROCD from an ex or friend and it clicks so I waited three months before trying to chat on this and thought she might see the light. Instead she basically just said I can see how you got there but no that does not describe me and we aren't compatible.

She's 33 and I'm her longest relationship since 19 as she was caught up in med school and other things so my guess is she has nothing to compare this reaction to but I know as this pattern repeats in other relationships she will have to come to terms with it eventually.

For those who were in denial of having ROCD what was it like coming out of it? Did you ever regret how you treated people earlier on before coming to terms with it?

​

I've never shared a post like this before (other than a very similar post on a different sub very recently), or really shared this with many people; so (hopefully) this will be something of a weight off my back!

For a little context - I'm 27, male (+ straight!), and was diagnosed with a fairly severe case of OCD at 20 - which I then went on to have a huge recovery from in the year or two following (which is one of things I'm most proud of to this day!)

However, I realised recently that my life has been more subtly affected by lesser obvious themes of OCD that have been quietly picking away at my life.

And yes, the main part of my life it's held hostage is... dating (hence why I'm posting here)

At 27, I've never been on a single date, or even so far as shared a kiss with anyone. I'm otherwise doing fairly well in my life (recently became a homeowner, I have a decent job, a very close friend group who I love and cherish) but the areas of romance and intimacy have become a big void in my experience/existence.

And I would consider myself to be a fairly attractive person too (if in an androgynous way, rather than a traditionally masculine way, but that's ok!) so that's not the problem.

The big problem I do have is that all feelings of attraction I may feel for anyone, romantic, physical, or anything that isn't strictly platonic come with feelings of guilt; and unwanted thoughts that I'm creepy, gross, or presumptuous. To explain it a more comedic way, I feel almost as though I have a HR department in my head scanning constantly for anything that could be considered remotely inappropriate. Every time I've had a crush on somebody in the past, I've always had to sit under a weight of guilt that would say: 'would they consent to you having these feelings - would they be disgusted?'

While this has had no impact on making and maintaining strong friendships, either with men or women. This has led me to be largely avoidant of any romantic opportunities. In the occasional social situations where the possibility for some kind of non-platonic connections has been a possibility, I'd often retreat into a 'polite/semi-formal' shell that my mind enforces - so that I can stay as polite and as safe-seeming as possible.

I used to think this was just the way I was, and that I was just a shy person when it came to dating, but a few months ago I realised these were the same patterns of OCD I dealt with years ago, but in a much quieter, insidious form. The intrusive thoughts that 'Everyone is going to think you're a creep, and someone to stay away from'

Or

'Men only want one thing - and you're no exception'

Or

'Women generally find you repulsive, and only talk to you out of politeness'

So on and so on.

Realistically, I understand these thoughts and doubts are just that! thoughts and doubts, and have no bearing on reality. But the anxiety it causes is still real, and thus my 'HR department' behaviour continues involuntarily.

And frustratingly!! I logically understand there's a HUGE gap between respectful attraction/admiration and creepy advances, but my sub-concious doesn't quite let me accept it.

Recently I've been wondering, if I struggle to get over this, whether I'll ever have the experience of being romantically or intimately close with anyone in my entire life. In the past I'd always say: "I'm sure it'll happen someday soon", but, well, 27 feels like it's getting pretty late. So, I'd like to do something about it... But it's really hard!

Trying to date while my brain SCREAMS in my ear that I'm a pervert if I do so much as smile for too long is going to be exhausting.

But I'm going to try anyhow!

This is the sort of thing I would be more open with people about if I wasn't actively TERRIFIED of the incel label.

The thought I could be associated with a group that holds misogynistic and entitled views has generally led me to keep my problem a bit of a secret.

I fear and hate the label so much - because it's like gasoline for OCD.

"If anyone knew you'd never been partnered with anyone, they'd know you're an 'incel', and think you're a complete mysogynist..."

Again, I logically understand it's a LOT more nuanced than that, but my subconcious brain doesn't quite accept it.

Anyway, I'll bring an end to my ramblings here. I'm not necessarily looking for advice (though I wouldn't mind some pointers!), but mainly just want to anonymously get this off my chest.

Thanks!

am I the only one with a theme that is not partner focused, not relationship focused, but a switch from me being scared my partner was going to leave me, needing constant reassurance, to then switch to latching onto mentally wanting attention from a person outside my relationship? not feeling guilty during, but only after. feeling immense fear and guilt it means I need to leave??

Could this be rocd?

Does any feel like they can help ?

t/w: slightly (not directly or graphically) talking about s.a and r4pe

hello there. im new here and i just want someone to make me feel like im not going insane here. i got diagnosed with rocd a year ago. and in this time i didnt have a bf. actually i even never had one. the whole thing started with my dad. everytime he was driving he kept looking to side looking at young girls. not underage ofc. just young. like my age (20). when i first realized he was doing it i was ashamed. disturbed even. and then the whole thing started. checking him every drive. "will he look at her too?" i asked myself. and everytime he did my tummy fliped and i got furious. i told him many times to stop. he would always say "im sorry hun i will stop" and he never did. i would even scream in my head every time we leave our house "girls he is out and he is dangerous". and i always felt such a big guilt. this is my dad. the one who cared so much for his whole life for me. the one that always tells me he would cut his arms off so i dont get a little scratch. the guilt was so powerful i couldnt hold my tears thinking about it. this whole thing happend in one drive. every single drive. but then when i was too deep in this, it started to be worse. i started thinking about it while ive been in a studant exchange program. 2 months out of my house without seeing him and without our drives. i would think about it most of the time every single day. i would try to not think about it but it always gets to my mind and every time it does i just suddenly feel so bad. the thoughts were just disgusting. "he is cheating my mom with young girls" "he is a rapist" "he follows girls and chat with them in ig" and it got even worse when i said to myself "i wish he was blind so he wouldnt be able to do that anymore" or "i wish i had alzheimer's so i forget this whole thing" and even "i wish he was dead". guilt builds up. i knew i was exaggerating but i couldnt get it off my mind till started believing it in some place. since then i got recruited by the army and things got better for me. but still every drive. this will be there with me. for the last 2 years. i have these thoughts and i dont know what to do with them anymore. i do not expect anyone to comment i just wanted to show this side of rocd. sometimes the relationship is not romantic. it can be me and my parent who loves me infinite love. and i still have these bad thoughts about him. after all he did for me.

much love <3

Not looking for reassurance or anything (I've already contacted my dr about what to do) but I started Luvox 50mg last night around dinner time and a shortly after I felt super nauseous into bedtime. I had a super hard time falling asleep and when I did, it was SO hard to fall back asleep again. I got maybe 4 hrs. I'm so jittery and spaced out this morning and I'm wondering if any of you guys had dealt with this before. Can this happen after 1 dose lol?? Waiting for a call back from my doctor and hopefully gonna start taking it in the morning.