I want to become better at decluttering in the moment, every day. My lifetime habit has been to let things build up and then do a BIG declutter. I’m getting older and do not want the big build up anymore.

My question is for those who are GOOD at making decisions in the moment and keeping clutter at bay by never letting it build up. What do you ask/tell yourself? How do you avoid regret? How do certain things make the cut?

Examples are: junk drawer items, worn out clothing, cosmetics I’ve had awhile, school related stuff…but truly anything and everything.

I envy people who look at something and say, “I don’t like this.” And into the trash it goes. I feel so guilty! I’m big on donating but I think it’s becoming an excuse to let things build up.

I don’t want to have to move piles/car loads all at once. How do I become a better daily declutter-er?

I've been slowly decluttering a few items here and there, but for my personality, I'm thinking that one giant purge over the weekend and quitting shopping cold turkey will be the most effective and impactful to snap myself out of my over-shopping habits and to stop buying things I don't need.

To start, I was thinking of going through my closet to begin with any recent purchases that I can still return and take back to the store. However, I'm having a hard time moving past those aspirational items and also some deeply discounted items I scooped up on sale that are arguably "staple" items that will have longevity, for example, an amazing leather jacket (I've never owned a leather jacket). But, if I'm being honest, how often will I actually wear a leather jacket given my casual, athleisure lifestyle and hobbies?

Objectively, and from what I've read and learned from all the decluttering gurus and minimalism advocates, I know that once the items are gone, it will be such a weight off my shoulders, and I'm confident that I will relish in having only my favorite and functional items in my closet.

I'm tired of living with an over packed and chaotic closet. Sometimes I'm trying to rush out the door and I can't find or can't get to the one thing I need in the back of my closet. How do you get past that first hurdle to do such a monumental project? Thanks in advance for any advice!

TLDR: Want to stop shopping and do a massive clothes declutter. Having a hard time letting go of aspirational items that I don't need, especially great bargain finds. Closet is out of control. Help!

How the heck do we keep the table clean when others want to leave shit on there!

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

I've moved on, but my stuff hasn't. I haven't been able to put it into simple words until now

There is a gap between who I am and what I own. I've visited new countries, moved a few times, learned new skills, got into new hobbies, changed jobs, relationships, gained weight, but I still own stuff that I've outgrown.

It's junk. A lot if it. I move on from things faster than I can throw them out. I change interests quickly, but I throw things out slowly. Why is that?

In just the past 5 years alone I've changed drastically. It's easy to gather and build over many months and years, but harder to physically throw things a way. I start and I never finish. garbage bags on the floor half filled because I have annoying emotional connections with everything I touch, or I just don't feel like doing it that day/month/week/season/year/decade...

Then the logical excuses start. My favorite one is "but I'll need it someday". No I won't. I'll just get annoying because I have to dig past it to get to what I actually need.

"I'll wear it next year" is a crazy one. Why didn't I wear it this year? Why am I buying clothes for the person I wish I was instead of the person I currently am?

Others: "I have to find a place to put it. I have to throw it out the right way. I need to recycle. I'll do it all in one day. I'll do a little at a time. I need to give to the right person" why do I care so much about all this?

This year I took a trip to Japan for 3 months, staying in two apartments across two major cities. I noticed my weird cluttering habit even there. Buying cosmetics I would never use, dumping nearly full bottles at my exit. Maybe buying a little too much food, feeling overwhelmed by the trash sorting system so I would sometimes put it off until the next week.

However, I also work hard to be as lean as possible while travelling. I am proud of never having an overweight charge, and I'm not that big a fan of souveiniers or "hitting the shopping malls". I got plenty of dopamine from wandering through Tokyo and doing tourist stuff. I like things I can use, not just look at while it collects dust. Why is it so much harder to do this at home?

I thought about what I was homesick about the most, and it wasn't the old clothes I don't wear anymore. It wasn't the drawer filled with old USB cables. It wasn't the bags of reduntant exercise bands I don't need.

I missed my 13-speaker home theater I built that I barely got to use because I left a few months later. I never once thougth about any of the piles in my closet and drawers that I never look at, and still don't today. I missed an experience, not simply an object.

Now that I realize I live in a room that is at least 5 years behind who I currently am, I can't stop thinking about it. I have things in here 10, 15, 20 years old that I don't even look at anymore, but I know they're still there. Why? I think it's the work. It's so much work to throw stuff out, post it on marketplace, ship it to somebody, I don't wanna bother. It's not bothering anybody just sitting there, right? except it bothers me.

So far, online body doubling while organizing is the only thing that has ever worked consistently for me. They don't even have to know what I'm doing, although I do announce it. Just the group session and knowing that we're all here to work on something has been enough. I should keep going. What do you do?

I gave away my heavy folding cutting table yesterday! It took up space in the hallway next to my sewing room for years. I bought new sewing cabinets a couple of years ago, and they have fold-out leaves so I didn't need the cutting table anymore.

Just one item, but the feeling is amazing! I feel lighter somehow. And the lady who picked it up is even more thrilled.

I’ve got a handful of things from relatives sitting in the closet. All still fit, all in good shape, none of them worn in years. Everyone involved is alive and well, so this isn’t a sentimental thing exactly, it’s more like I’m storing them on their behalf. At some point that stops being respect and starts being a rail full of other people’s choices. Is there a point where you decide enough time has passed, or did you just do it one day and never think about it again?

Share your wins here - big or small. What did you declutter this week? Examples include:

• Digital Clutter: emails, digital photos, digital music or video collection...
• Storage: cupboards and closets, drawers, storage boxes...
• Toys: ether for your child, or your own that you've been hanging on to.
• Spaces: kitchens, workshops, hobby rooms, storage lockers...
• Routing: sending items to where they need to go, like donation centres, trash, or recycling

This is a low-stress place to share wins for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

I'm finding myself losing myself in piles that have started accumulating. Work is so stressful and while my space isn't as bad as it used to be, I'm trying to fit all aspects of my life into a tiny bedroom. I'm out of shape, too much stuff, everything seems like a waste to get rid of. Today I was looking for something and I couldn't find it. I've got a walking treadmill to get some steps in because I'm sedentary at the office all day. I got all my hobby gear because I just have to be interested in the ones that need the extra things. I went without an AC (one of those floor rolling units) because it would take up valuable floor space. I hate it. I hate that I can't find anything important, I hate that my things are precariously balanced, and I hate that I am so attached to my things. They're just stuff! I haven't used it in a whole year!

I'd really like to have a clean desk space so I can have a monitor and pc and be able to get rid of everything that I want to declutter but haven't due to excuses. I'd like to get a new bookshelf and have everything neatly fit.

I don't really know how to reconcile that I need to see everything (because ADHD gives me such bad object permanence) and because I live in a Itty bitty apartment I need to be smart about storage.

I have been on a multi year journey of decluttering and reducing the amount of stuff. I benefited most from the Marie Kondo’s book. My success has been limited and plateaued pretty quickly. I visited a friends house and she’s very organized and tidy and I was trying to notice how she organized things I realized I don’t have as many organizational tools. For the longest time I resisted organization systems and buckets because I thought they’d be an excuse to have more and I just needed to have less. I’m now really questioning my approach. I’m realizing that I don’t know how to arrange things in a way that makes sense where I can still find them.

When I go through most areas there is some junk yes, but by and large I use most things. I don’t shop a lot and don’t buy a lot of stuff. I just leave them out so I know where they are and because honestly I don’t know how to organize. My surfaces are cluttered because of that. I think there’s a block and it’s just so hard for me to conceptualize organizing. Maybe this sounds weird but how do you start or even strategize how to organize? I get overwhelmed and don’t know how to. Does anyone have this problem? If so, how can I learn? Are there books or videos I can watch to help my brain learn it?

UPDATE: this is a wonderful community thank you all for the helpful comments and recommendations. I have a list of resources I’m starting to use and feel slightly less crazy…truly. The cycle of leaving things out so I can see them and then getting anxious and overwhelmed by the clutter is just miserable. I likely could still stand to reduce my stuff but this was a big epiphany for me that I legit don’t know what to do with however many items I still have. I also strongly suspect adhd for many reasons and this struggle with organizing also points to it. I have to go watch some videos now!

My mom always gives me things that resonate with her, and not with me. It feels incredibly hurtful and disrespective. It makes me feel like she doesn't want to accept me as I am (I'm 44, btw), and instead is trying to change me into a person she wanted me to become (like her). And she never fails to emphasize that they were expensive, which of course puts additional pressure on me to take or keep them. Most of the things she gifted me throughout my life were things that SHE liked, and that were suitable for her life or style, and totally at odds with mine. So of course, they would eventually end up with her, making her happy, and me bitter. By this point, I think she's doing it on purpose (although maybe not consciously) - she wants something for herself, but instead of just buying it for herself, she buys it "for me" (therefore justifying the expense) - and then gets it soon after, while I'm left bitter and disappointed with nothing. Or I'm just left with something I have no room or purpose for in my life/space. I even told her multiple times "don't buy me xyz anymore, I don't have room for it", and she'll buy it again saying "nah, certainly you can find room for it". No, I can't! Life doesn't work that way - you buy me something because that makes you happy, and my life or space will magically change or expand to accept that thing! That clutter is so toxic to have around - it makes me feel unrecognized and unloved by her, guilty for wasting her money, and sometimes even sad for the occasional thing that I like, but literally have no room for. I know I should just give those stuff away (selling is not worth my time and energy), but it's SO HARD! At this point, it's clear to me there's no way to stop her from doing this further; I just want support for finally getting rid of those things.

EDIT: Wow, so many comments already! I was surprised to see so many other people with the same problem. I appreciate all the advice, however, many of them are not applicable in my case; in my country, you can't return anything to a store without a receipt (which she will never give to me; she usually doesn't even take them); I can't easily donate anything, because we don't have donations centers nor thrift shops, and our "Goodwill" (and similar institutions) are already full of stuff and accept only money. So every single thing I want to get rid of I have to either take a picture/describe/post it online, or leave it on the curb with a "free" sign. I don't think that stuff is worth reselling - my guess is she pays several dozen euros at most, and I would receive only a fraction of that back. She NEVER donates things, she just throws away stuff she doesn't want, and keeps those she wants. So it really is a burden to take them, and I'm doing my hardest to refuse them at the spot; any accepting from my side just encourages her to buy me more similar things.

I despise white underwear. I’ve hated it since I was a kid. I hated it growing up. I hate it now. When I reached in the drawer today, the first three pairs I pulled were white. They went directly to the trash. So are all of my other pairs of despised color underwear. I’m no longer desperate for things that fit, I’ve found mine. And I don’t need a politician’s desperate tax write off of having donated used underwear to the thrift store.

Instead, as packages are now sold with 3 white pairs to 3 with designs, I will buy 2 packages and donate the new, unworn pairs to the thrift stores.

And I don’t have to look at an overflowing underwear drawer of stuff I despise. Win!

This is a recurring event. Room gets unmanageably messy. I feel so bad and want it today but something in my brain is making me unable to start. I waste time, pace back and forth, feel guilty, spiral more and more into self hatred over how I let it end up like that, and then I'm on the floor crying.

This usually takes up half or a whole day. Then, once I start, everything goes much easier and less stressful than I feared. But even though I know this and even though Ive been through this exact cycle A LOT, I still haven't worked out how to skip the crying part and get straight into cleaning/tidying/decluttering.

I know it's just psychological, and I know it's all in my head, and I swear I tried and promised myself it would be different the next time, and it never is.

Please don't tell me I am looking for excuses, I already can see how this may look like that. But why would I do this to myself if I could avoid crying for half a day? Why am I like this?

I just wondered if anyone here can relate at all and if there is any advice that help you overcome this.

I have an unexpected day off today. Husband and kids are out of the house.

For the past few years, I’ve been “ tidying” by putting my stuff into reusable shopping bags. There are now four of them piled up on my desk. Also rendering my desk useless.

Every time I look at it, I get overwhelmed, and just shut the door.

So today, I decided I’m going to tackle ONE bag.

I’m gonna blast my music dive right in. And my reward, once I’ve completed this task, I’m going to treat myself to a nice hot coffee at a café that overlooks the ocean.

Baby steps. better than no steps.

I lost my cat a few years ago and was devastated (some might call it a “soul” cat.) Afterward I channeled a lot of my grief into setting up a memorial. The shopping just helped me stay busy instead of sitting around crying.

Right now I’m decluttering and asking myself “can I live without this? And if I can, does it still make me happy?” Then I realized a lot of these memorial items actually don’t make me happy at all. They remind me of that difficult time. But I feel guilty getting rid of them, because I feel like I bought them FOR them and their memory. There’s an almost sacred feeling about them that I don’t want to betray.

Now I don’t know what to do. I want to be able to transition into celebrating their life instead of being weighed down with guilt and painful memories. What would you do? I could look for a new memorial item that actually does make me happy. I feel like you’ll always have some sadness when you lose someone though.

I know there a million decluttering and organizational books and accounts out there, many of which have been helpful to me! But sometimes inspiration comes from unlikely places.

I was thinking about this when I was watching a Reel that a stylist I follow posted. He was helping a woman and they were talking about how she buys multiples of something she likes in different colors, but it hasn't been working out. And they went through why she does it (she likes the fabric/fit) and why it doesn't work how she think it will (colors make a difference in a wardrobe) and how to stop doing it moving forward (finding similar fabrics/fits in colors that work).

It wasn't a video about decluttering, but resulted in thinking about how to declutter my closet in the future in a different way.

Does anyone else have these little sparks of inspiration from someplace least expected?

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/s/YVxWJb7ieT

TW: Harming of Rats

It’s done. I’m ashamed to even post these pics but all the neighbors know so why not the internet also. 10 years of hoarding stuff on top of trash on top of sentimental items undone in a single day.

I went back and forward with the advice to not even look and the advice to suit up. I caved and bought PPE for us to dumpster dive and find a few specific things, opened the garage and figured out it was rats. Didn’t even try to go in after that, called it all a loss and walked away.

The biggest item for me to retrieve was my wedding band and engagement ring. In true ADHD fashion when we moved I stuck them in a Lego plant pot and of course they ceased to exist. On the day of I asked the clean up crew to keep an eye for the Lego and my rings in it. A couple of hours in they rang the door bell with both rings in hand.

I’m sad for what we’ve lost and there’s a lot, but I’m overall relieved. We have regained easy access to our circuit breaker, water heater and sprinklers and now have so much more usable space. All that’s on the rebuy list is a new car seat, Christmas decorations, bike helmets, swim stuff, Warhammer model paints and an ocarina.

Does anyone have tips and tricks to clean the garage and keep them out? I’m currently terrified to let the kids anywhere near it. We also used warfarin throw packs and while the grains are picked up but there’s blue staining which scares me also.

Thank you all for your help!

I absolutely loved this video, decluttering guru Clutterbug who I have watched many odd videos over the years gets her husband too declutter on camera who exposes her hidden piles. I really loved how it goes to show how hard this truly is for everyone, even a major decluttering youtube creator. how different people see things as valuable or junk and it shows a great example of a couple navigating what to keep in a shared home and what each person sees/uses/annoys them.

TL;DR- How would you deal with a high volume of baby clothes you'd like to donate, that is mostly still in good shape, but might need stain-treating or re-washing before donation, and also, do I have to throw stained/unusable baby clothes in the trash or is there a better option for bulk disposal of textiles that you have personally found helpful? 

_____

I have 2 kids, ages 7 and 4, and about 10 rubber maid tubs worth of outgrown clothes. For the past few years I’ve been trying to sell some of the clothes at a local consignment sale held twice a year (mostly to offset what I spend at said sale for my kids new sizes) but it's a lot of work and I don't really have the time needed to process a lot of clothing before each sale, and I never end up making a dent in reducing the amount I have stored because these kids just keep growing. I have taken a few trips to the thrift store and we recently were able to give a friend a decent amount of hand-me-downs, but I am still left with an overwhelming amount of baby/kids clothes and I just can't store it anymore. 

I want to start donating in bulk to local organizations that take baby clothes to distribute to local mothers/families in need, but I have 3 logistical roadblocks:

1. Because there is so much of it, and the bins have been gone through multiple times (by me, a secret raccoon) some of the bins are messy, so unfortunately, I can't just load up and drop them off in this state. Before I donate them, I need to at the very least, separate things roughly by size, make sure outfits are together, and also pick out the stuff that is not in good enough condition for them to take. Which brings me to...

2. Some of the baby clothes has yellowed and old stains are more noticeable over time. I want to make sure what I’m donating is clean and actually in good condition. I know oxidized baby stains can be washed out, but is it worth it? What is a reasonable amount of effort to put into stain treating and re-washing tubs full of clothes before donating them? And if I can't get stains out..

3. Realistically, for real. What do I do with clothes that aren’t worth donating? I hate throwing clothes in the garbage. I avoid it as much as possible, but I have yet to figure out what to do with a large amount of unusable clothes. Has anyone used one of those textile recycling bags, or GreenDrop or something for knowingly unusable clothes and had a good experience with it, or do I really just have to suck it up and throw it in the trash??

____

Also, a piece of decluttering advice from me: If you have FOUR daughters, and your cousin is having their FIRST baby… please don’t dump ALL of your outgrown baby clothes on them at once. It's very generous to give new parents free stuff, but maybe just one or two bags of baby clothes in good condition would be nice... Not two giant totes full of everything you owned in size 0-2T. That’s simply too much clothes for one baby who will also get a ton of new clothes from other excited family members, and an overwhelming amount of stuff for new parents who will now have to figure out what to do with all these clothes since you don’t want it back, and since they can't deal with it and a new baby a the same time they will probably just leave it piled in their basement, not realizing that that is setting the standard for where baby clothes goes when its no longer needed, and also their second baby is a boy so barely any of that stuff will get touched again, and it will quickly grow to an out of control amount of clothing that will cause a ton of stress and tension between the parents around 5 years down the line... Just saying. 

I just started watching some of these last night and boy, did it bring up a lot of feelings. Figuring that they are only going to put up units where they found some valuable stuff, it’s still overwhelming and sad and there’s so much junk. Some of it stored for decades. 90% with no value or very low resale value.

I’m picturing how much it’s cost to store, pack, move, etc. It’s so sad to see bins of photos gone. Someone’s life. But it’s a mess they’ve left. And the message of the owner of every unit like this is basically saying “I can’t deal with you and I can’t afford you any longer”.

I caught one last night where the person had hoarded it out. In random old Walmart bags, there was cash mixed in with old receipts, papers, broken pens, and old makeup. These were inside of other totes. By digging through every random looking bag, the guy found over $2000 in cash. In random chunks. In between trash. It was so sad to think about the person who lived this way. They also had a million of those dashing diva stickers for nails and costume jewelry. All brand new. Tons of it. At first I thought she must have been a rep for those products but then he found evidence that she had just bought it from someone else.

I don’t know. But this has shifted me forward. It’s motivated me in ways I haven’t felt before. I can’t leave all this for my kids. They cannot deal with it. This stuff has got to go. Especially while it still is usable for someone else.

I recently put down a down payment on a new mattress. A very heavy one. Installation is not included, so it would be up to me to find someone to help get this thing inside and set up. I'm old. My friends are old. I'd have to get on NextDoor and find someone to help.

So.....I canceled the order anyway(financial reasons), but it made me think. I don't want some stranger coming in and seeing what a hoarder I am! (Level 1, but I'm still embarrassed). This motivated me to start looking at my mess with fresh eyes. I'll be packing and giving stuff away all weekend.

This thought process helped me a lot. I hope it helps you.

This is hard for me. I’ve always loved makeup and skincare and pampering myself. Recently I got an extremely bad case of periorificial dermatitis and everything but bare-bone basics and some prescription ointment causes a breakout and it hurts and I look awful :(
The point is that I have so much stuff and I know I can’t use most of it anymore to prevent breakouts. I’ve worked hard to declutter my life but this one feels extra painful as it’s always been a way to care for and express myself
:(

EDIT:
Thank you to everyone who has reached out with love and support :) my partner and I set up a day to go through everything and I got to say my goodbyes and thank yous to the proud to I know will upset my skin
It wasn’t easy but I feel so relieved I don’t have everything to look at :) thankfully a lot was able to be donated due to how the products dispensed so I know there’s a lot of women who will benefit from my loss

I have a small walk in closet all to myself. It's maybe 5x6 get. It has a shelf at about eye level that goes around 3 sides. The 2 long sides have rails for hanging items. I have shoe racks on the shelves. I was able to fit 6 pretty comfortably. One rack has all of my purse. Another has all of my pants, shorts, and my short skirts. The other 4 are full of shoes. I also have a large shoebox i was able to fit like 6 pairs of flats in. I have like 130 pairs of shoes. It's obscene. I hate owning so many pairs of shoes. I also really struggle with dressing myself and sometimes the version of some kind of shoe that's the main one I wear just won't work with this outfit I'm trying to put together. And I'm grateful I had what I had when trying to put an outfit together. But the shoes take up such a large part of my already packed wardrobe. I want to be able to fit all of my things in my own closet. Not just my clothes. I want to also fit my art supplies, my hobby supplies, my collections, my larger bags, etc. Right now many of those things are in a spare bedroom i claimed and in a hallway closet. Things are totally fine now but if we ever had kids, I'm afraid there won't be much space for them or their own clothes and toys and supplies.

Anyway. This is mostly about shoes because I just have so many and I want them out and this other stuff in. I have an idea for myself... Take your shoes out, store them somewhere else, and only bring them back into the closet when you find yourself needing or really wanting to wear them? It's just obscene i own so many shoes but many of them have come in clutch once or twice. But some of these i never wear. Has anyone tried something like this? Could this work?

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

hi. since I've been lurking on this reddit I found some people recommend setting a deadline. at first I thought it might be too radical and overwhelming since I'm very lazy and I have many clothes that I don't need. but I decided to stick to it. I decided to set a deadline on my birthday(end of October) around a week ago~ and needless to say it sped up my progress A LOT.

I don't know about you guys but I love to put things I don't need in a "I'll think about it later" category so I won't have to make a decision. I had big bags full of clothes, cutlery and decorations(not even mine) stored in my kitchen. and my apartment is very small so these bags were taking a big chunk of space and overall overwhelming me. setting a deadline finally motivated me to go through these bags and decide what to do with them. I put them online yesterday and someone already ordered a lot of things from me! so I'm thinking it won't take long for everything else to sell too.