And before I bitch and moan, I recognize how fortunate I am to have a job and especially to be self employed. I know a lot of us struggle to hold down a job, and if I weren't self employed, I'd probably be in the same boat.

But goddamn, it's rough. The amount of stress and attention it takes being an attorney is so draining. Obviously I don't share with my clients the fact that I have bipolar, so they don't understand when I may take a couple weeks to get to something. I'm lucky in that I have a lot of great clients and I'm able to fake good bedside manner when I'm screaming inside.

I support my family and we live in SoCal, so it ain't cheap. I have to work a lot to keep the money coming in. That's the one downside to being self-employed - you take a day off, it means no money came in that day.

I'm a dad, so when I get home my two boys want to play and wrestle and so I've got to muster the energy to do that after a long day at the office.

Again, I recognize how fortunate I am to have a job, a family, a home. I was reluctant to post this for fear of people saying fuck you, you've got it good. I know I've got it good. I feel like, what the hell did I do to deserve this when so many struggle and have less.

It's just, the amount of energy it takes to maintain all of this, especially when going through a depressive episode, feels insurmountable at times. When I'm manic, it's obviously a lot easier, and I miss being manic because of that.

No one in my small circle understands the difficulties of having bipolar and trying to lead a normal life. I'm hoping some of you may understand. I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks.

Hi everyone! Long story short but I have a bachelors degree in chemistry, started a PhD, got sick, had a quarter-life crisis and realised that chemistry was NOT what I wanted to do and that nursing better aligns with the type of work I want to do day-to-day. I am taking prereqs now and am really enjoying the content.

I have Bipolar II and realise that a lot of new grads end up working nights before a spot opens up on day shift. I know that working nights can seriously interfere with the mental and physical health of people without conditions. For those who are or have been in a similar situation, what has your experience been like and how have you navigated this?

I’d really appreciate hearing about both positive and negative experiences as I just want to understand what this has looked like for other people. Thank you!

I was hospitalized involuntarily during June for 9 days. It was really traumatizing, and at the time I got the final diagnosis “brief psychotic disorder” even though full on psychosis was not (to my knowledge/memory) part of my presentation.

I think the hospitalization (and tbh the facility in general I was in) was so awful, and my manic convictions were for the most part correct/grounded in reality, that I was convinced the whole thing was unfair/unjustified. I also clung to the nonspecific diagnosis given to me by the inpatient doc and wasn’t convinced when my regular psychiatrist said it was mania. Of course in hindsight I felt so good I didn’t want it to be mania.

I have regret that I abruptly discontinued the antipsychotic just like 3 days after I was discharged. I was convinced I didn’t need it and that I was having side effects. Now that the fog has cleared, I feel guilty that my wife and family had to deal with me and my mania longer because of that, and I regret overall that stopping the med let this nightmarish chapter of my life last longer.

I’ve been doing better, but only recently has the hindsight fog fully lifted and everything hit me. I just regret, among other things, that I did that, and I wonder how much easier/better it would’ve been I’d kept with it. It was my first manic episode ever, so I didn’t want to accept it and am committed to not stopping my meds again…I just wish it had gone down differently, and while I hated it at the time/wanted to leave asap, I wonder if I should’ve been hospitalized longer, which has been hard/sad to consider.

I’m sitting in a Walmart parking lot desperately fighting the urge to just start driving and see where the roads take me. I need another change of pace I need to run. I’ve got half a tank of gas and pto to use. That could get me a state away in no time. It’s like a panic feeling that I need to go somewhere anywhere but here

For some context I’m 22 and I am almost done with my first semester of grad school in a Master’s of Occupational Therapy program.

My diagnosis is nothing new. I was diagnosed at 15 and I was hospitalized 3 times over the course of 2 months. Technically failed out of high school that year and had to reenroll the following spring. Graduated high school on time, went to a T20 college, and straight into OT school.

Yet here we are. I have academic accommodations and did my best to be proactive with professors but at the end of the day this isn’t working. My grades are fine and I’ll probably pass with a B average but I don’t think this is sustainable, equitable, or healthy for me at the moment.

I am very passionate about OT and the idea of working in healthcare, but school is really tough when more mornings than not rolling out of bed is impossible. My professors and the office of disability services have not been very helpful or understanding and quite frankly I know my ADA rights and they have been infringed upon.

Probably going to stick out this semester but debating between continuing to tough it out, calling it quits, taking a medical leave of absence, or something different all together.

I have worked so extremely hard to get here and to power through assignments despite rapid cycling and med resistance and even ECT so if I do call it quits it kind of feels like I’m giving up on everything I worked so hard for.

Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.

dating while having bipolar can feel impossible sometimes. but it takes the right partner and patience. you have to have full communication. even if opening up is hard and you have avoidant tendencies. in order to grow and heal as a person, you need to sit in your pain & let it consume you. cry cry cry. think. journal. read. anything. do something to occupy yourself. once you find love within yourself you will find the right one for you and you will want to do your best. you will want to heal and do well for them, as their lover. the right person will never doubt you. you need to find someone who can sit with your pain and you guys can talk and open up. find comfort and peace with your person. don’t be negative and dishonest with yourself.

you can only get better if you strive to be better. if you yearn for more, love yourself so you can love others.

be kind to yourself

Good evening, I just wanted to share a little, because I’m feeling good about myself and I hope others are feeling great about their own progress.
I’m about 3 months clean, after 20 years, and finally taking things seriously with my bipolar 1. For the first time in a very long time, I feel confident and in control of my own emotions. Started taking medication and sticking to my routine. I’ve been on that rollercoaster before, plenty of times, as we all might of have. But this time, I found the right combination and not only that, I’m using coping skills that don’t involve self medicating. It’s amazing what a simple deep breathing can do. I’m 34 and I feel amazing. I still have a lot of work to do, but never before have I felt this wonderful about my future. Though I haven’t posted or interacted in a very long time, I’m very grateful for this group. This isn’t even half my story, but I just wanted to spread some positivity and share my gratitude, new outlook on life and overall just in a sharing mood. I love all of you and I hope you’re all having a good day.

I had an appointment with my psych last week and we decided to increase my mood stabilizer because I had been struggling a lot the last few months. I also take a controlled sleep aid and a year ago my doctor wrote me a small prescription for a controlled medication for anxiety/panic attacks.

Due to how bad things have been the last 2-3 months, I’ve had to take the anxiety med more than I had at any point during the rest of the year and I was running low. I asked if I could refill that and my doctor appeared really irritated and asked if I drank alcohol (I don’t, but have a history of that in the past. She is aware of that, but I’ve expressed in the past that my continued sobriety from alcohol is one of the most important things to me.) She ended up sending a refill, but I wish we could have just had a discussion about it because I don’t want to take it if she isn’t on board. Idk if I should mention it when I see her again next month.

Also! I had a bad experience at the pharmacy. I’ve never had an issue before. I called in and went to pickup my sleep aid and the girl over the phone and at the counter was someone I’d never dealt with. I did the usual deal and gave her my license and they usually just look at it scan and give it back. She stared at it for what must have been a minute and a half. I deal with really bad social anxiety and I struggle with eye contact, so I definitely seemed nervous I’d say. She gave my license back and asked if I had any questions for the pharmacist and I said no I’m good. She then proceeded to aggressively pull the paperwork and staple it to the bag and shove it to me.

I’ve always taken my meds as prescribed and never refilled early. I’m very frustrated and almost wish I was never put on controlled medications in the first place because now I’m dependent on the sleep aid at the very minimum.

I’m very frustrated with this entire ordeal and just would really like someone else’s perspective on this.

Thank you

I am currently a full time college student who was diagnosed with bipolar II and PTSD earlier this year. On top of school, I have a federal work study position, a research internship, and a part time zookeeper position. I have worked at my local zoo for 5 years now, with the zookeeping job being a relatively new upgrade.

Keeping up with college and these jobs is a struggle on its own, but my mental health has taken a severe turn for the worse these past few months, and both my therapist and psychiatrist are recommending I join a PHP/IOP (in their words, if I continue down this path without joining one of these programs, I will most likely have to be actually hospitalized due to my struggle with SH and SI). My zookeeper hours specifically are restricting me from doing a PHP/IOP, but I am scared of quitting and potentially closing the door on this wonderful career opportunity.

My boss does not know about my mental health struggles. How do I quit without possibly ruining my reputation? Cutting down on hours is not an option, as I am already working the least amount of hours that the zookeeping position requires (normally it is 5 8-hour days a week, but I am able to work 3 days a week).

Hi all, I’m still relatively new to this subreddit so i’m not sure if this has been talked about yet, but as I’m in a current major depressive episode, and the worst so far (never been hospitalized yet but considered it twice since my diagnosis), and something I’ve noticed a few times enough for it to be noticeable:

When i’m in severe depressive episodes where I just want to sleep all day because I feel no joy or motivation and all the sadness or emptiness or loneliness, barely eat or get out of bed, I’ve noticed that after a certain amount of days, I’ll eventually get a hypo/manic spurt for the first time since the depressive episode started. I’m confused about this experience and if anyone else has experienced it. Despite my depressive symptoms I have to move and be active and find something to calm me down to avoid it getting worse, although after I come down I just sink back into the depression. I feel like it’s like my mania just has to come out or that or that I’m so depressed it somehow triggers a manic episode? i’m even shocked that my body and mind can handle mania with how empty and lifeless I feel in these darkest episodes.

Maybe it’s just an acute mixed episode, I’ve noticed I have those too, and I know they’re super dangerous so I’m just trying to better understand how bipolar works and if this is common or not in trying to educate myself how to approach this. I’m in therapy and medicated, and have a steady support system but still struggling and again just trying to figure out everything.

In my last year of law school ... right on the edge between being able to get a good job and a mediocre job and this exam probably decided it in favor of the latter.

I am having such awful thoughts right now. I'm crying in a computer lab because I'm scared to be on my own. I feel sick and my head hurts.

Lately ive been feeling like I'm meant for something more. Like I need to take classes or start a new hobby or a side hustle or like idk I just feel bored with my free time and I want something to fill it. Not that I have a lot of free time since I just picked up a second job, and have 2 kids. Idk I just feel like I'm missing something and I need an outlet. I have no extra money which is incredibly frustrating. I'm frustrated by the mundane. I want to travel. Idk I just want something more. Anybody suggest a good hobby that's free or nearly free?

I tried going off my meds because I was “doing so well”, lead to angry-ish reports made at work that made me look bad. I completely forgot whole statements and thus completely misunderstood my own conversation.

went back on my antipsychotics but now I kind of feel like I’m starting over. And I don’t know if my memory is good enough to be a nurse :/ I wish I just stayed on them, I was trying to be “ambitious“ but instead broke my own firm ground.

I wish I understood why I have memory issues, I was told it was ADHD but my providers seem to think it is something else but never tell me what it is. I was diagnosed with short term memory loss as a child… then how did I even become an RN! I am so confused.

Hey there 👋

27 M, Been seeing a new therapist the last few months who I really enjoy after years without going to therapy. Just started medication for Bipolar 2 about a month ago and started to get inclined to research about BPD symptoms and how it can relate to my case and decided to talk to my therapist about it and how it can look at my recent session. We sat down and talked about it and she went down a list and asked me questions. Ended up with saying how she is a little puzzled but still feels confident about me still having Bipolar vs BPD due to some of recurring symptoms and past episodes only really being explained due to the Hypomania.

She did say that if I was in a place to start treatment as a teenager I would have probably been initially diagnosed with BPD but as I've grown into adulthood my symptoms have been able to "stabilize" the older Ive gotten and what I experienced as a teenager shows the set up for a bigger diagnosis, if that makes sense. I'm paraphrasing from what I remember. She didn't think I had enough boxes checked for it to be put on my chart as an official diagnosis but that I could have BPD tendencies.

She did reinforce that it does take multiple sessions to tease it out and that a lot of it overlaps with both BPD and Bipolar. She is the 3 rd therapist to tell me I'm Bipolar in the past 5 years and I'm not discrediting her or any of the past ones, I'm just a little confused and "lost" for lack of better words on how to process and handle this newer information. Anyone able to just shed some insight or words?

Hello to anyone reading this i am wishing you well right now , this is kind of vent /question i will keep it short

I graduated last year and started university this year 2026 at first i was so excited but things happened so i left mid semster and took a break, i then restarted again in september with hopes that i was learning something i liked . but since september started , the depression phase has started , and i am really struggling , i am physically stuck in my bed i have no nothing inside i feel almost empty. the issue i am too late to back of uni so the fees are adding back. i dont want this whole year to go to waste. i just have nothing inside to get up to prepare for assignments nothing my university is 1 hour train ride away .

for some extra information - i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when i was 13 , and tried many medications , i was then diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder , which i dont agree with. what else i stopped medication when i was 16 . and cut all contact with psychologist and psychiracist . i never tell anyone about my bipolar .but i am worried about and scared i am 18 who knows how long this depressive period will last and what come next idk i have no future in mind why not just rest