I have to decide whether I should accept a promotion to Captain, or if I should just pass it up and stay a Commander indefinitely (which I'm sure will not damage my career at all). So, I thought watching a Holonovel of Will Riker watching a Holonovel would help me with my decision. But it looks like all the good parts are already taken. Do you think playing Phlox's Pyrithian Bat would give me insight into my major life decision?

Borg Queen - hyper controlling mother
Janeway Lizard - Abandoned her kids.
Lursa - Kept her kid a secret, went into battle and then Riker blew it up
Crusher- Hyper controlled one kid, and then hyper controlled the next (hid him from Picard). Also had sex candle parties.
Erin Hansen - takes her kid on Borg expeditions.

What shitty mothers.

His memory and personality patterns were copied so perfectly, the crew couldn't tell the difference.

60ish years later, his power cells are still running strong.

Like Kirk said about Spock in star trek 3 where spocks soul is the most human I can say for an android data is probably more human than anyone short of riker.

So what would be some creative and fun pick up lines for various characters? I’ll start: Picard-“You know my heart’s not the only thing that’s artificial.” Followed by a wink. Be creative. I’m sick and bored.

I...a friend I mean, let's call him Mr ... Cabbage, has trouble mating with women, due to awkwardness, anxiety, I don't know, weird fingers, ohh God is my hairline funny?

Anyway I was talking to Data and he said he had controlled the reproduction of nanites by separating potential partners from the main population in favour of his preferred nanites. That got me thinking...

Computer is there a way I, I mean my friend could beam every male and fully functioning android off the ship? I think that just might shift the odds enough, although I'm still skeptical I might be left out anyway sigh

Not many people know this, but “sect” is a mistranslation. Their word is actually more close to “strain” in meaning. Anyways I’ve got a sticky Nistrim/Pommar hybrid that hits you so hard you forget how to use the kitchen sink. What’s your favorite sect/strain? There’s someone trying to break into my quarters and the replicator is whispering to me. Guess I better go replicate taco bell to shut it up.

The Ferengi Government is taking a break from debating an amendment to the Rules of Acquisition to make this decision about how we will refer to pinkskins.

Why do we spend so much time just sitting here staring at a starfield on the viewscreen??

I thought these chaps are enlightened… but it’s all fake.

I just mean they’re saying important sounding stuff and I’m really only getting half of it cause they’re spewing most of it in the direction of an oversized monitor instead of me. What even is the purpose of that? Is that monitor “forward” like a large TV screen is how we navigate outer space?

Also why do I need to stand up just to see my tactical officer face to face? Are we putting him on high ground for some kind of tactical advantage?

I got special authorization to take a shuttle craft for my shore leave on Risa. I thought I was extremely careful, but I’m on my way back to the ship and I just ran a black light over the interior. I guess there were too many Risian Sunsets consumed and I blacked out. Either that or some Ferengi overrode the lock out sequence. Either way, it will NOT pass Commander Riker’s black light inspection when I come back. What should I do? Also, how many horghans are too many?

I have been reading more about how Emperor Spock wrote his bizarre lectures on logic and equality etc etc and it's pretty apparent that 1) he definitely came from somewhere else and 2) that somewhere else is a bunch of pansies. Furthermore 3) that somewhere else is an awful lot like this place except for point 2).

I bet everywhere in the somewhere else is very much the same except for point 1!

Some of you are probably thinking that I am going to propose we invade and conquer somewhere else. The "mirror universe" if you will. This is an incredible waste of time and effort.

No no, I am proposing we go to places we have where all our valuable stuff is, cross over to the mirror universe and steal their valuable stuff.

All our great national monuments and their vast stores of gold, jewels and other forms of wealth are a mere universe away and no distance at all. We could go to the Louvre, Fort Knox, the Whitehouse, the Musk torus, the headquarters of Amazon and so on. We could steal the Mona Lisa, the Bean sculpture that lights things on fire, their version of the Spruce Goose, AI Tokens, Bitcoin wallets and so on! Hell, even Disney Island down in the Florida Sea. I would imagine that their version doesn't even have an air defense system.

The white monster in the other machine is an acceptable alternative, but it is not the color of the blood of enemies to the empire!