Hi, im 18 now but when i was 14 i was raped by my older sisters ex boyfriend (had broken up before this). he was in my tutor group at school and it happened next to my school in the woods (relevant)
we were in the middle of a conversation and i walked through those woods to get my bus every day so he walked with me and i didn’t think anything of it then did that. when i came forward a good amount of people said they saw me walking into the woods with him so clearly i knew what was going to happen, wanted it, then regretted it (which is very much not what happened).
after it happened, i had to take a week of school because i couldn’t talk properly, and by then hes told everyone i came onto him.
i got made to think i was absolutely crazy by everyone, got slutshamed and bullied over it, and that’s why i never reported to the police.
a couple of weeks ago he got arrested and has been put in jail for 4 years for the same thing to other underage girls.
if i had reported him they would never have been hurt and ive been feeling so fucking guilty every day for it. i’ve talked to my bf about it but he doesn’t really get it. i keep wishing id have done something and i cant help but blame myself

I feel like its all my fault. He's my ex. He used to do it in my sleep. He knew my step dad used to do that to me when I was a kid while I was asleep and I would wake up to it.

My ex did that some throughout our relationship. I would tell him its hard to say no. I told him I cant do it in my sleep. I wake up so vulnerable and I cant make it stop.

We have a kid together and I broke up with him a month ago.

This is where I get extra stupid. I missed him. And I started inviting him over more to see our child. We hooked up post breakup. We did that maybe 2 or 3 times.

Last night he comes over via my invitation. He fixes my car for me. He had a bad day and so did I. We fought about somethibg dumb for like 3 hours. Lotta old stuff from the relationship came up.

After I eventually started crying he starts telling me to sit next to him and telling me how pretty I was. We talk like normal again and I thought things were gonna be okay.

He asks if I want a beer bc apparently he had gotten me one on the way over. And I agreed and we drank.

I passed out and while I was in and out of sleep he slept with me. He kept waking me up by patting my face or trying to shake me awake while he had sex with me.

I cant even convince myself it was the r word. I cant even really stand to say it. Because he's done this before and somehow it hurts more now.

I feel so stupid for being here.

I cant stand thinking that what happened was rape but it always feels like it. And I think I just love him too much to call it that.

Oh god I hate myself for saying that.

I tried to bring it up to him before months before the breakup that I felt like he had r worded me. And he started fighting with me and telling me I was calling him names.

But I feel like he should know I cant consent if im asleep or drunk and when it happens when im unconscious just like how it did when I was a kid I feel like I did back then and I cant speak up for myself or make it stop I just feel bad and tell myself that's not what it was.

He would make me feel so bad when I insinuated what he was doing that I gave up.

And I dont even know how to make .myself believe that he did anything wrong.

I just feel hurt and stupid. Especially bc I broke up with him and had hooked up with him previously. It blurred all the lines.

I feel so stupid.

i’m confused on what this is, i was molested my entire childhood at first i was groomed into it i think and when id refuse it as i got older it got violent and id be physically punished for struggling then it suddenly stopped one day, now they act like nothing happened like its a completely normal family and now even the person who molested me became my closest and only friend i was isolated and he was the only person nice to me and they’d give me gifts daily and treat me kindly daily like nothing happened and i feel so stupid because i still love him even though i realize he raped me and hurt me and anytime i’ve told anyone anything it just gets me in trouble what even is this called am i being groomed??? what genuinely now that he doesn’t rape me do i have to offer why would he groomed me when he stopped already?? now what is this relationship???

Tag says for it self I had argument with a person where I said my rapist needs to go to jail and I will forgive him. Too which person replied that everyone deserve second chance even child rapist

I heard this so many times but it hurts each time even more

i think i was raped by my uncle… a few weeks ago i was sitting on my bed and he came into my bedroom and asked if i wanted to play roblox (as we usually do) i said yes and agreed but as we were playing roblox he started touching my cheat and things escalated from there… he put his hands in my pants and then forced me to give him oral. he then pulled my pants down and forced himself into me. I genuinely do not know how to feel right now im still very shocked and processing and im not sure if this counts as rape even?

In my childhood, I was sexually abused and harassed, and this made me live a chaotic childhood due to constant fear and tension. Of course, every time this happened, I never defended myself, nor did I even scream or cry. To this day, I have never cried about it because I was only blaming and judging myself: ​'How did you let him do it?' 'Why didn't you defend yourself?' 'This is your fault!' ​I lived my whole life judging myself for this. My mental health was destroyed at that time, and I was just a child.

The first time this happened to me, I was only 5 years old. I don't remember the details, but I remember it happened. Of course, like any normal child, I went and told my mom, but instead of mom understanding me or even making me feel that it wasn't my fault and that I was little, no—mom started crying and then started blaming me! She started saying, 'You should have defended yourself more, you should have screamed.' Of course, as a child, I was shocked (I was scared mom would tell dad). ​

And after this situation, I lived in tension and fear—I'm not exaggerating when I say half of my childhood I was afraid of my dad and my brother, to the extent that I was afraid to be in the same room with them alone. ​Of course, this thing didn't stop even after I told my mom; on the contrary, the matter escalated, and it was from several people (not at the same time). They would ask me to do disgusting things (to touch their bodies, kiss them, and have them touch me), and of course, I don't know why I didn't refuse, why I didn't say 'No, this can't happen.' ​Then, at the age of eight, I was raped three times during the same period. In each of those times, I didn't defend myself, even though I knew this was wrong.

No, I didn't move; I just accepted the situation (he would buy me candy or chips afterwards). I didn't understand why I didn't defend myself; I was just scared and tense. And after that, for a very, very long time—let's say most of my childhood—I lived with anxiety, tension, depression, and teenage angst. ​Of course, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't vent to anyone, I just kept it bottled up inside my heart.

I couldn't process or even believe that I went through this without defending myself. The problem was that it happened to me multiple times. Not once did I defend myself; I was scared people would find out, every day I was scared my family would find out. And of course, at the age of nine, by coincidence, I came across pornography, and I started watching it, and I knew this was the same thing that happened to me, and I even started thinking that I must have enjoyed it every time, which is why I didn't defend myself.

I started judging myself and drowning in bad habits. ​And after a while, I bottled the issue up deep inside me. I stopped reminding myself of it, and slowly I forgot until, by coincidence, I started reading stories of people who went through these things, and I started seeing that all of them had one thing in common: which is that they hate their abusers. But I don't hate them, and I never thought of hating them. All my life I've been judging myself. ​And then slowly, I realized that I never even shed a single tear over this matter, to the extent that when I cry and remember it, I want to cry, but suddenly the tears dry up. Days come when I feel depressed and just want to sleep, days come when I feel a lump in my throat, but I can't cry. ​And slowly, I resorted to Reddit. I was just talking to people, but not once did I feel anyone understood me, not even after they said they went through something similar.

And the worst thing is that every time I watch porn, I don't watch it because I'm lustful or have a desire; I just want to feel something, but fundamentally I don't feel anything—no desire, no arousal, I have no attraction toward boys, nor can I even feel attracted. Everything I try to fix, my life gets ruined. Every time I try to develop myself, I find myself tense, scared, and unable to process things. All my life, I depended on the idea of imagining another life far away—meaning that this isn't even my life, and that none of this ever happened. ​Every day I hope I die. Every day of my childhood, I saw myself as foul, vile, and worthless, not deserving of this life that God gave me. I couldn't cope with this reality, and to this day, I cannot feel any emotion toward the matter except self-blame and judging it. I can't comprehend that I am a victim; I just can't.

I always hear those words and I'm tired of it. It's not your fault, you're not the reason, but I don't think so. All I want is to stop feeling like something is holding me back. This affected me physically My relationship with my family is great and my friends are amazing, but I can't talk to them about it. My circumstances do not allow me to see a psychiatrist or therapist.

Thank you to anyone who read this

I'm 19 now and when I was 17 I was raped by my cousin while I was on holiday. I've never told anyone what happened and I've been keeping it to myself for the past two years.

I've found it difficult to talk about and I don't really know where to start. Part of me feels like I should have told someone by now, but another part of me finds it terrifying to even think about opening up about it.

Because it was a family member I don't know how to approach the situation or what telling someone would mean for my family. I've never spoken about this publicly before so even writing this feels like a big step for me.

I asked alot of people, everyone told me it's not, even my brother, who actually jokes about this. So, for context, my older brother burshung his teet in the bathroom, i come infornt of him and start twerking infront of him to annoy him (ik im childish and cringe) and i accidently burhs against his yk what trough the clothes. He said it was uncomfortable to him etc etc. So uh, i had no sexual intent or anything but idk. He doesnt really care as i said, joking about it and annoying me with this accident. And neither does he counts this as SA but idk.

When I (28F) was a senior in high school, I went to a college party for the first time on a spring break trip, hung out with a group of older college boys at their house, and got very drunk with them.

What I remember: One of the boys and I both got very drunk (equally), went back to my hotel room, had unmemorable sex, and then he left and went back to the house he shared with the other guys.

This week, I found old texts that contradict this memory. (My memory has been faulty around that general time in my life due to other trauma, so not unusual).

The next morning, I texted my friend, “I have to go buy plan B now because I just found a piece of condom inside me from last night and the dbag didn’t even tell me it broke. And it’s not like he was drunk either, he was completely sober.”

2 things that are concerning and a little confusing:

1. Is this considered stealthing? Is there any world in which he wouldn’t have noticed the condom broke, even after? Is this sketchy or some form of assault?

2. I was SO drunk. Like, really really drunk and barely functioning. Which seemed fine when I thought he was also just as drunk and we were on equal footing, but in hindsight it makes me uncomfortable to know that he had sex with me when I was that wasted and he was completely sober.

So, was this just sketchy, or was it SA? I’m leaning towards sketchy, but I’m not really sure what to think.

I am coming to terms that I may have been raped multiple times. Some may say it was just SA but I disagree.

First was at a Halloween party when I was around 14. We were playing a game and one by one we were going in blind folded to play a game in a side room. Older woman and her husband weee role playing and he was a mummy. The woman held me close and told me to touch something that felt cold and limp first but quickly warmed up. She asked me if it was a man or a woman and the way she said yes it’s a man gave me the chills.

Second was when I was 21, I told my partner to stop but he continued. Also said yes to front bur no to anal but he continued.

Third I am not so sure. In a lake. Around 27. Me and a male friend were skinny dipping and he hugged me. He said it went in accidently but i am not sure if he could have accidentally penetrated someone from that angle.

Then there are other times when I’ve been passed out in the hotel and waking up feeling sore. Some things I did consent to but some things were by force.

Aside from vocal threats, like for context if the person says "Yes", and goes through it all because they are not able to say "No", because the other person is like best friend.

Firstly: I dont know if this is the right subreddit for this. If it is only for female/trans victims, please don't ban me. I'll simply delete the post & move on elsewhere. It's clear many men won't talk about it, so I plan to gather as many coping mechanisms as I can from female victims to help me cope.

~

On October 5th, I was gangraped by four males from Latin Kings, whilst a fifth Latin Queen recorded & kept a snubnosed pistol on me so I wouldn't resist. I wouldn't have resisted regardless because I didn't want my sis or two nieces to get caught in the retaliation. I even let them in because I wanted it to be over, so I felt safe to visit my favorite gals. I figured a beating or a bullet were the price I'd pay. What happened, for me, was worse.

It probably sounds dumb, but I didn't want any females in my life to know because it felt shameful. I have/had 3 close male friends, but one died recently, another I cut off after I reported him to the feds when I found cp on his PC. The third is incapable of handling deep conversation.

So I told my (ex?) brother-in-law, swearing him to never tell my sis. He did after a week, because ofc he did. Why? Because he thought I was making it up (I can go much deeper in detail if it's requested)

She believed him over me & thinks I'm lying because I didn't "show" trauma (because I was putting on a brave face for her & the girls)

The guy that let her go to a woman's shelter with their then 3 year old daughter, instead of allowing her to stay at the house (I offered to let him stay at my place completely free) until she got on her feet.

The rape hurt, literally & mentally, but the female recording & my sister not believing me honestly hurt more. Wtf is wrong with me?

I was going to remove myself from the Minecraft server, when I finally got approved for Spravato after nearly 3 months of waiting, just two days after what happened. It honestly saved my life & is the only thing keeping me going besides my mama.

Anyway, I'm absolutely shirtfaced, so I'm just gonna stfu now. I'll answer what I can, but I am a tech boomer so bare with me.

Thank you for listening & caring.

I remember the seats of his car, old and dusty. I remember him on top of me. He panted heavily. I remember how it felt. How badly it hurt. I remember the things he said he'll do to me if anyone found out. I remember the tree at the side of the road it happened. How badly I cried. I told him to stop. I remember how quiet my usually cheerful voice went. I can still feel it, his weight, I tried to push him off with all my strength. He was way bigger and heavier than I am. I could still hear the buckles of his belt, the next kid he had to pick up from the same school as mine. My uniform felt like knives rubbing against my skin. I can hear his grunting and the words he called me. I can feel how he folded me in half in his backseat and ruined my life. I can taste the saltiness of his hand that was over my mouth. The tissues he used to wipe himself afterwards. His final threat. I will kill you if you tell anyone. I could still feel my hands shakily button up my uniform shirt and pulling down my skirt in shame. He left me there. At the side of the road to walk the rest of the way. I can still feel the pain between my legs as I limped my way to my after school tutoring. It was so painful. I remember the shop I stopped by because my legs were shaking too badly to walk. My school friend meeting me there and I pretended to be normal. I went to the bathroom to see the blood between my legs. I can feel the content of my stomach emptying in that bathroom. My friend asking me why was a limping on our way to the tutoring. I hurt my knee. I couldnt focus anymore. I was scared. I was shaking. I had a panic attack in the bathroom at the tutoring. I never went back. Failed all my classes. Now I cant get into or afford college. He, my taxi driver. ruined my life and I just want it to end. I want to end my life because I remember.

I don’t have an outlet that feels safe at this point in time. I feel so incredibly lost, embarrassed, and disgusted. I don’t remember most of what happened, but I can’t help but feel like it was my fault. I know it happened, I remember being asked if it was consensual, and I remember lying. Is it consensual if I don’t remember what led up to it? Is it consensual if I barely remember the act? I don’t know how to feel or what to do. It happened in my friend of ten years room and he seemed more upset about where it happened than the act itself. I tried telling him I don’t remember much, but he didn’t seem to care. Before Saturday I trusted that he was someone that would keep me safe and I don’t feel that way anymore and it’s adding more pain to this whole situation. He didn’t do this to me, but I’m so hurt by him. It’s crazy to me that his little brother was the only one that cared enough to ask if it was consensual, and I hate that I told him it was. It couldn’t be because drunk girls can’t consent.

I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit but I wasn’t sure where else to come. 3 years ago I was at a family party and I passed out drunk, when I came round my cousin was rubbing my vagina. I was horrified and got away. I didn’t tell people for a variety of reasons, mostly shame. His partner was upstairs and he has a child. A week later he started harassing me, he reached out and tried to gaslight me, when he realised I remembered everything he said he’d never forgive himself and doesn’t expect me to and begged me not to tell anyone.

I went to a family party over the weekend (the first one in 3 years) and I was made aware that he’s told my gran, uncle and other cousins that something had happened between us that was completely consensual. I broke down in front of everyone and told everyone, which was obviously upsetting for everyone there. I just feel absolutely devastated - to violate me like that, leave me to pick up the pieces of shattered self esteem, anxiety and shame, and then to attempt to ruin my reputation with people I love.

I’m honestly terrified of what may happen now it’s out there, if he will contact me or threaten me to change the story. I’m genuinely terrified

I 30F have been married to my husband 32M, who we will call Seth, for 5 months, and together for 6 and a half years, although we did break up once or twice in the first 2 years. I have autism, borderline personality disorder and complex PTSD (all diagnosed), so please be kind.

I recently found out from the police that they will not be advancing my rape case to CPS. This was against an ex-boyfriend, who I was with for 2 years and we will call Gavin, when I was 18 to 21 and he was approximately M20 to 23. Since this news, I have been spiralling and checking social media of his friends and family since I'm blocked by Gavin or he doesn't have social media. I found out he got married on my birthday weekend in 2025, about 7 months before I got married.

Gavin lost his virginity to me, but I had a couple sexual partners before him. About a month into our relationship, Gavin got kicked out of his family home, because of issues with his step-mum, and moved into my family home, with my dad and 2 brothers, which was supposed to be temporary, until he could find accommodation for himself. This was a turbulent time for me, as my parents were in the middle of getting divorced, and my mum had custody of my sister, but wasn't letting us see her. Gavin was very abusive, but not physically. It was more financial, emotional and coercive control. Without getting into everything Gavin did, He didn't start out that way, obviously. He love bombed me and continued to love bomb me in front of my family, which is why he never moved out until we broke up, and my family seemed to love him. Gavin love bombed them too, going as far as calling my grandparents "nan and grandad" after the first time he met them. My family saw it as him embracing my family as his, but in reality, they couldn't see Gavin's flaws when I went to them for help or voiced genuine concerns about the relationship. Gavin would take my phone once he or I got home from work each day, and not give it back until he had gone through all my messages and social media activity. Gavin would rape me at least once a week on average, including after every time I cried, from being unhappy with our relationship or something external, without fail. Gavin wouldn't let me sleep with clothes on because Gavin wanted "easy access" if he were to wake up in the night. I would have to show him what I spent that day, detail to him where I went and who I was with. My friends caught on to Gavin's behaviour and how trapped I was. They called it out, both to me privately and in front of him, which led to me being able to see them less and less and Gavin would have to be there every time I saw them. I tried to break up with him a lot but he wouldn't accept it. The only way I thought I could have broken up with him is for him to think I cheated on him. One day, when I was off work but he wasn't, I messaged someone on social media and got them to meet up with me, so he would see at least the social media activity at least and end the relationship. I did meet with that person but we only kissed. I know this was immature but I was 21 and felt completely stuck and didn't know how else to get through.

The break up with him hit harder than I thought it would. My dad and brothers acted very disappointed in me and were very cold with me for months, if not years. They thought that me cheating meant I was like my mother, who had cheated on my dad and us 4 kids (because when you have a family you don't just cheat on your partner), so got comparisons to her actions. This lead to various crazy actions from me, such as leaving notes on his van to get back together and multiple suicide attempts. I had a downward spiral from here, until 6/7 years ago, when I was 24, when I met my now husband. My family still didn't believe my ex was abusive and spoke about him highly throughout the years, including to my husband, when we were first dating.

I'm not contact with both my parents and have been for 4-5 years. I was no contact with my brother's and dad's family for this time too, and restarted talking to them about a year ago and don't talk to them much, only seeing them a couple times since.

I'm frustrated that my PTSD from that past relationship still holds weight in my marriage. Although my husband is very understanding and cares for me and doesn't (nor wouldn't) complain about it, I feel horrendous about it. It's not fair that my ex gets to live his life, knowing he defiled my body over 100 times, and is still walking around the streets.

In terms of police activity, I took a "are you in an abusive relationship" quiz online about 6 months after the relationship finished, which led to the police knocking on the door to talk about it, as it was abusive, but didn't take further action. I only went to the police about the rapes about 2 years ago, when I truly calmed down from being in fight of flight since I was a teenager, and realised I was a victim of rape, amongst other crimes I won't get into now. Here in the UK, the statute of limitations doesn't apply to these types of crimes. However, after the relationship ended, I did delete all pictures, videos, messages etc of my ex, so the police have very little evidence to go off: only my account and limited statements from my friends.

What can I do for my previous relationship to no longer affect my marriage?

I got raped in 2008 and experienced a very serious betrayal from a friend that led to a mental breakdown. I only just now started to process this trauma

I managed to dodge a lot of very serious drugs. I only got addicted to nicotine

A few days ago my state (PA) banned nicotine vaping products and I refuse to go back to cigarettes. I'm extremely scared to quit vaping

I feel like I can't process trauma without nicotine?

I feel like, by quitting nicotine, I have to "conquer" or "overpower" all of the people who've abused me over the years?

It feels so impossible in my mind

I expressed that to my therapist on Friday and I was very grateful. She confided in me that she has personal experience with these issues, and she also quit an addiction to nicotine

Feeling powerless absolutely sucks.

But the ironic thing is... When I'm able to cry, I cry really really hard

And then my body relaxes, my stomach doesn't feel tight and sick like it always does, my chest relaxes, my tongue and jaw don't feel numb anymore, I no longer feel like I have a "lump in my throat"

And I don't feel the need AT ALL to vape

So I guess my initial fear/belief of "I can't get thru trauma without nicotine" is false?

I'm just so damn scared right now. If anybody has been thru this I would greatly appreciate support

Tw: sexual assault

Hello. I am 20, F, and I was drunk and barely conscious because I was barely awake and really sleepy at the same time, and someone tried to take advantage of me in that state to kiss and touch me. I wasnt drunk to the point of having no memory, it was just a mix of being really tired and sleepy and the cloud of subtle intoxication. He tired to do it while I was sleeping/ falling asleep, multiple times. I rarely get drunk and I only did it because I though that was a safe space. I have known a few people in there for over 6 years now and everyone there trusts everyone. I dont want to share any more details about what happened.

Fortunately I was able to get out of there before he did something. He is a close friend of my friends. I don't think telling them will change anything. They all like him very much and most likely will brush it off since he was a bit drunk as well. (I probably need better friends.) I also told my mother because I couldnt stop crying when I begged her to come and pick me up and she just told me that it was good that I got able to get away before things got worse. I dont know how to tell this to people because now I feel like I am over reacting or being dramatic because I am aware I dodged a bullet in the end.

It's been hours since this happened and I was able to get some sleep away from him and I probably wont see him for a long time now, but I can't seem to stop being anxious. My heart and chest hurt, like squeezing and I feel like I am about to throw up all the time. I have struggled with anxiety before but usually when something bad happens it cames to a stop, especially when I get some sleep.

No I cant afford a therapist and no I dont really have anyone besides those friends that I can talk about since I am only close with two people besides that group. And just writing this makes it really hard to not cry, so I feel like if I try to talk about this I will just dig myself more and make a fool of myself.

TW: Descriptions of rape

I was with this guy for 3 years. I feel like an idiot for even sparing him a thought but it breaks me to know everything was just for his satisfaction and not actually real. I broke up with him in June, and it’s been extremely hard to go around my daily life because of how much I wish things had been different. Even now that I sit here and recall everything he did, I can’t help but love him and it’s messing with my head because I’m trying to move on. He’s seeing someone else and I’ve been trying to do the same, but my head keeps spinning and I keep remembering how used and betrayed I felt.

It all happened multiple times. I would say no, he’d get mad, we’d end up doing it after him getting annoyed. Two times stand out to me the most. One, he made me promise that I would do it with him since I had been putting it off. We went to the back of a grocery store and he proceeded to rape me. I laid limp on the backseat whilst he went about his business, and all I could remember thinking was “God, please let him be done, let this be over soon.” The second one, we had gone to Disneyland for my birthday and stayed at a hotel. He wanted to do it that same night, but I was exhausted and told him we could try the morning after. Well, he woke up at 5am and tried to do things to me. Even though I was limp because I was half asleep, I was praying that he’d either finish or give up because I wasn’t cooperating under the pretense of being asleep. It took around 30 minutes, he kept moving me around like a doll. By the time he was done, he rolled over and I just laid there until I heard the alarms go off. We lived together for a year and a half, and almost every night he’d ask for sex, sometimes getting so upset that he’d turn around and ignore me, leaving me to cry myself to sleep. I felt like I couldn’t hug or kiss him without “owing” him intimacy.

The worst part is how much I miss him. We were together for 3 years and I feel so goddamn stupid for wanting to go back to him. I struggled a lot to even call what he did rape as I never considered myself to be a victim. I am struggling and I feel so lost. Any advice would be appreciated as I am trying to rebuild myself.

This whole ordeal lasted for a year from 2007-2008; 18-19 years ago. We were both minors and this all happened behind closed doors inside my parent's home as well as his home. Still to this day no one in my family as far as I know, knew all of this took place.

This was a dark period in my life. My cousin would force me to have sex with him when I didn't want to. Whenever we engaged in the activity it was PAINFUL and there were times I would tell him to stop and he wouldn't.

It got to the point where I didn't want him coming over my house or me going over his house, because I knew that if the two of us were left alone unsupervised what was going to happen.

There were times I cried when we were doing this and he would try to keep me quiet.

The abuse just stopped suddenly one day in 2008 and we haven't discussed it since.

This was a traumatizing experience and it pops up into my memory frequently.

My cousin is now engaged to a woman and has 3 kids with her.

When I told my former therapist this, she told me it's possible that he could have been sexually abused himself and was repeating what was done to him to me.

I still see my cousin from time to time. He is the son of my mom's sister. I think about having a one on one conversation with him about this situation and getting some type of closure. I just want to ask him why did he do this? What made him do this? I also want to let him know how badly this hurt me and to just take some accountability.

What do you guys think?

I’ve never had to do a rape kit before until this last week. First off, the questions asked of me were inappropriate by police and male doctors. When the woman did the rape kit, she asked me if I was ready promiscuous, until that night, I hadn’t been penetrated for close to a year. I asked her why she asked that, she said she has bone a lot of these and my vagina was very open and it made me feel even worse. Am I the only one to get this negative treatment for something I didn’t ask for? I do understand why people don’t report their rape, I regret doing the kit.

i feel so disgusting all the time because of my thoughts. i keep trying to convince myself that i have a crush on my rapist and it feels like it invalidates everything that happened to me. i don’t know what to do, i think i’m just not processing it well. i need someone to talk to about this, please don’t dm me if you’re a man looking for sex/nudes please just don’t i’m already on the verge of killing myself and i really just want to talk to a woman about this