r/ProgrammerHumor • • 2d ago

Advanced itWasFunWhileItLasted

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

270 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago • Regret

I work in security. I am so tired boss. Every day this last week I woke up to another critical cve

With how much my career has changed this last year I am burning out so hard.

1.3k

u/dismayhurta 2d ago • Popcorn

Thank god my job is to create code that potentially has security holes instead of fixing it. So much easier!

242

u/LonelyProgrammerGuy 2d ago

If you think about it, we’re creating jobs for u/WriterPlastic9350

Then later, he has to suggest patches and updates so that we also have more work and don’t get laid off!

Win win!

150

u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago • Heartwarming

Please don’t

66

u/twigboy 1d ago

What was that? Can't hear you over the sound of all the code being shipped to production!

31

u/usedtoswimfast 1d ago

git push --force origin main

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u/uniqueusername649 2d ago • Popcorn

Sorry, read that too late.

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u/ItsSadTimes 2d ago

Sadly my job is to fix AI code AND write code. So now I have to fix so much garbage and then ontop of that management is demanding I produce so much code that I cause issues for myself to cleanup.

Last month we looked at our teams metrics and like nothing changed over the last 2 years. The only things that changed is how many tickets we get. We get like 3x as many critical tickets as 3 years ago.

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u/Greyhaven7 2d ago

What job is that?

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u/dismayhurta 2d ago • Bravo Heartwarming

Writing bad code

73

u/Kschl 2d ago

Prompting bad code*

109

u/dismayhurta 2d ago

Hey. I told it to not make mistakes.

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u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

I enjoy you.

8

u/MrLemon91 1d ago

I love how all interviews are PhD coding level while actual job is dealing with a shitty codebase and no time, budget nor clearance to make it good.

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u/snack__pack 2d ago

Agent babysitter

8

u/PGSylphir 2d ago

vibecoder

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u/CarIcy6146 2d ago

Thank you for the job security

2

u/antek_g_animations 22h ago

Thank God I choose hardware. If you mess up, a global crisis can emerge, if I mess up the device turns into a firework

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u/TheColourOfHeartache 2d ago • Bravo

So you're the one who let all those zero days into your system!

91

u/TheDizDude 2d ago

Yup am also in security. I legit heard "security keeps doing these vulnerabilities just to make it seem like we don't know what we are doing."

That's right, We do the vulnerabilities.

At this point I wanna fuck off and be a farmer, but the same AI that is causing me headaches with vulnerabilities and POC's are also eating up all the affordable land that I would farm.

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u/High-Plains-Grifter 2d ago

Our security guy recently left the company I work fornand he didn't even have anything lined up - he just couldn't any more.

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u/shitty_mcfucklestick 2d ago

I get why we need security and to pay attention to it.

But god damn it’s taken the fun out of web development. From CORS to CSP to SOP to OAuth to OPP Yeah You Know Me… you use to be able to just read shit, and write shit, and it would work, and it would feel amazing to see it happen. Now it’s like 100000 fucking steps to do anything.

4

u/SolenoidSoldier 1d ago

And everything that talks to each other needs a certificate or credential that expires every 47 days or some shit...

8

u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

Your shit was bad and you should feel bad and that is why we have things like CORS and CSP. I'm not familiar with what SOP is.

OAuth is a godsend for privacy and security, but not in its current form IMHO as it funnels most people into specific social media providers who will track you when using their logins, and many applications (for good reasons) will limit OAuth IdPs to well-known social media providers.

I really like https://indieauth.com/, which is an extension to OAuth that is not closed.

11

u/shitty_mcfucklestick 2d ago

Everybody’s shit was bad back then, in the days before SSL standardization. That’s why I said: I understand and respect the progress we made on things like security. It does make it much more work for everybody though, you and me, doesn’t it? Ignorance is bliss I guess.

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u/gnuban 19h ago

Don't forget the processes and bureaucracy 

21

u/MelonOfFury 2d ago

I switched away from security in March. This week has been interesting to watch from the sidelines

5

u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

If I had my way I'd switch to infrastructure stuff, but I'm unfortunately finding it difficult to find a remote job that does infra that isn't also a gigantic paycut.

10

u/CarIcy6146 2d ago

God dude I’m just devops but my company treats me as a one man security team. I’m so beat. Feel you bro. It’s not getting any better anytime soon

4

u/examinedliving 2d ago

I patched the php vulnerability in a legacy app while singlehandedly preparing the release of a Blazor server app I built from scratch to manage the truancy enforcement for one of the largest counties in America

14

u/keatonatron 2d ago

Isn't this good though? We are fixing all the things.

46

u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

3% of all critical security vulnerabilities ever announced have been released in the last month, so far. It's good things are getting fixed, but this a very difficult part of the job to do when you work at a very large company with lots of things, and every day waking up to a new patch day and everything being on fire and an emergency is exhausting, not least because you don't actually have the time to make lasting improvements.

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u/L00pback 2d ago

Hell yeah brother. I’ve been running so many offcycle scans this week and handholding groups through updating their stuff only to wake up the next day and find out about a new CVE.

Then get on “war room” calls at 9pm with all the different teams so well can phone in the exact numbers of remediated resources as we just emailed them about.

4

u/Rocket_Bunny45 2d ago

You woke up this mooornin', got yo' CVE ...

3

u/NatoBoram 2d ago

traveling straight into the sun

2

u/-Morning_Coffee- 2d ago

As a plebe, I’m grateful for your hard work! I’m still doom scrolling like I was last month.

2

u/varinator 2d ago

We need Bartmoss

1

u/AbbreviationsOdd7728 2d ago

Hey at least your job seems safe.

1

u/Don_Equis 2d ago

The whole year has been quite crazy

1

u/SignoreBanana 2d ago

We're on our third key rotation in a week. The good news is this will at least force us to modernize and automate it. I totally see daily key rotations in the near future.

1

u/Sleep-more-dude 1d ago

dw unemployment is on the horizon.

1

u/thecoolcat67 1d ago

Bro use your sickness fk them

1

u/katatondzsentri 1d ago

I left security for infra a few years ago. I missed it for a while.

Nowadays I'm happy about it...

1

u/Neculce 14h ago

Yo. Lemme make it worse, Php2Shell is exploitable since today, the bitcoin was stolen

1

u/Stonks_37 9h ago

PHP issue right? Haha

737

u/KCGD_r 2d ago

TL;DR it's node2shell but on http servers. So the whole thing is just the brotli vulnerability, but http servers usually offer brotli compression so they could be vulnerable.

How to fix: if you can't immidiately change node versions, just drop all content requesting "br" encoding

If you can switch: versions 22.23.4, 24.22.1 and 26.12.1 are patched

156

u/thisisapseudo 2d ago

Too dumb did not understand: what can be done by whom?

206

u/rex5k 2d ago

Who: WebServer Maintenance Devs

What: switch node versions if possible or drop all "br" encoding requests.

End users: figure how to break break through the patches and make the Devs lives harder.

45

u/NatoBoram 2d ago
  1. Software application developers can update their Node/Python version when they distribute their server-side software

  2. People who deploy those software maybe can or cannot update that software, depending on if there's an update released

If you don't make Node/Python apps or host one, then sit back and enjoy the rest of the world catching fire

I recommend Fireship for following this kind of news in a more digestible way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMGg7iisHmc

13

u/KCGD_r 2d ago

The way to actually fix the vulnerability is to use a patched versions of node.js (I listed in the first comment). These specific versions contain a fix which removes the vulnerability entirely.

The person who runs the server / controls the webserver software can switch the version of Node.JS the server uses, and should switch to one of these patched versions of node.js if possible.

If they can't switch nodejs versions immidiately (like if you have version dependent code or don't have permission to switch the node runtime), then you can edit the server's JavaScript code to reject all requests that want to use brotli encoding

17

u/Careless-Web-6280 2d ago

Wait, it's real? LMAO

22

u/WilkerS1 2d ago

drop content requesting what now?? line breaks?????

1

u/Plazmaz1 1d ago

A little worse than that. Node and many many other languages use the same native implementation which is where the actual bug lives.

171

u/YMK1234 2d ago

stupid name, it's brotli2shell. just disable brotli (probably not enabled to begin with) and you are golden.

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u/clearlight2025 2d ago

But I like broccoli

2

u/BastetFurry 2d ago

Broccoli ham casserole 🤤

2

u/BigHowski 2d ago

To be fair they make good bond films

25

u/Not-the-best-name 2d ago edited 2d ago

Not that easy. Python web app for example, Brotli is used if available on your system even if not imported or used by your code. Request libs use it if they find it. You may not install it as part of your web stack, but some other dependency like GDAL (geospatial analysis) might have installed it for itself.

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u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

Node does this as well. It is why those languages are (IMO, incorrectly) being reported as "vulnerable". They are, but the vulnerability is actually in anything that uses the brotli lib. It's just Node and Python "helpfully" will handle that encoding for you if the client to your server (or the server you're sending a request to) asks you to, and you have to opt-out of that, if you even can.

Use a sensible language like Go, or other frameworks which don't rely on magic under the guise of features.

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u/lart2150 2d ago

IDK I'm having way more fun running a MITM proxy with every IOT device in my home thanks to emudhra.

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u/Anongirl55959 2d ago

Shit thats actually smart and u can stop them from ever receiving the updated certs too

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u/Risky_Sandwich 1d ago

Wait, what does this allow you to do? Say you have one of those fancy webos tv's, can you see what is inside the telemetry now?

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u/lart2150 1d ago

yep I was able to see everything my samsung tv sends over https. my pihole was blocking the telemetry but it would report every key press, app launch, etc. A linux box with two ethernet ports and https://docs.mitmproxy.org/stable/concepts/options/#emudhra makes it stupid easy.

I've since built a more long term proxy with a self issued cert that removes all the garbage from my tv's home screen.

4

u/Anti-Kriztos-One 1d ago

Nice setup. Its also possible with one eth or ethand  wlan?

4

u/lart2150 1d ago

you can use wireless aswell. some adapters work better than others. I ended up plugging my access point into the eithernet port and was able to poke everything on that ap.

2

u/Tipart 1d ago

Shit I just put an Ethernet cable into my TV a couple of days ago... Have to unplug it when I get home and see if it's still exploitable.

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u/YouDoHaveValue 1d ago

This will be the primary driver for manufacturer's to maintain their shit.

3

u/lart2150 1d ago

will it? #TIL my radon detector that is still being sold is a esp32 and makes https requests with no auth and does not verify the cert at all.

At the other end of the spectrum MTLS stops this in the tracks just like ca/cert pinning.

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u/logan-duk-dong 2d ago

If Al Gore could take the initiative and uncreate the Internet, that'd be great.

70

u/emuboy85 2d ago • Mindblown

I don't know il you are talking about Al Gore or AI Gore but I'm here for both.

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u/d_Composer 2d ago • Bravo

A1 Gore

7

u/xBesto 2d ago

Fuckin Linda McMahon, what a fuckin dufus haha

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u/sam_tiago 2d ago

Still wonder what the world would be like now if he didn’t get shafted by corruption in 2000

1

u/KlanxChile 1d ago

I'm pretty sure, if his sponsors sell a competing products he would be all over it...

223

u/OmegaPoint6 2d ago

Might as well just go back to CGI at this point

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u/eXecute_bit 2d ago

Like things were better in Perl? What do you think made me first learn PHP?

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u/OmegaPoint6 2d ago

Just code your website directly in bash scripts

40

u/eXecute_bit 2d ago

Can't we just have init open a TCP listen socket and skip all these middle layers?

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u/wthulhu 2d ago

Shell2Shell dropped

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u/OmegaPoint6 2d ago

systemd-httpserver

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u/Hero_without_Powers 2d ago

Bash is love, bash is life

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u/Square_Ad4004 1d ago

> Bash looks him straight in the eye and says. "It's all command line now"
> Bash leaves through my window

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u/SynthPrax 2d ago

Did someone mention Perl?

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u/Steve_orlando70 1d ago

Ah, Perl, the programming language whose programs are most easily confused with line noise (for those who remember both).

(Apologies to APL, I put you in second place, too few people had the Selectric ball...)

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u/JaggedMetalOs 2d ago

Dust off Gopher protocol!

2

u/cosmicomical23 2d ago

I would rather leave it where it is

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u/erishun 2d ago

*laughs in Cold Fusion*

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u/keijodputt 2d ago

Cries in FrontPage extensions

10

u/pidddee 2d ago

Jokes on you, some of us still use it

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u/badgersruse 2d ago • Bravo

I have said for decades that pretty much all software since punch cards has been steaming layers of unfinished and/or poorly designed shit, because it is either ‘too expensive’ or too boring or too hard or ‘not worth it’ to do it right.

And here we are.

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u/Slight-Violinist-575 2d ago

The more layers a piece of tech has, the more surface it has for vulnerabilities

I think it’s easier to see it in cars, we just recently had a F1 race which had to be restarted because the cars’ software wouldn’t run properly

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u/yabucek 2d ago

F1 110% brought that particular fuckup on themselves.

Literally nobody asked that the onboard computer should control power deployment in a racecar.

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u/badgersruse 2d ago

You are kind of missing the point. I’m not talking about dealing with vulnerabilites. I’m talking about doing it so there aren’t 1000s of vulnerabilities in the first place.

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u/Slight-Violinist-575 2d ago

But that isn’t exclusive to software, much less to “software from a point of time onwards only”

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u/ColumnK 2d ago

It's fine, we'll just get Claude to redesign every single layer and everything that uses it. Nothing could ever go wrong

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u/Educational-Plant981 2d ago

when you notice that someone fucked up the shape of the mustache on the Jack at the bottom of the card tower, even if it is a single penstroke to fix, it isn't easy to do.

5

u/phasmaglass 13h ago

Yeah I gave up and started phoning it in immediately bc I realized no corporate boss willing to pay me what I needed to live would ever allow me to make anything good, and I'd never have the energy to make something good myself due to spending all my coding energy at my corporate job. Then watched over the past 20 years as they kept adding more and more layers to the stack we're intended to know top to bottom (very few people do and they aren't working for your boss, FYI) and how little people making the big decisions actually knew... I realized all I could look forward to for being good at my job was picking up slack for people who would be paid more than I would, so no thanks.

I got good enough to do what I need to do and not get fired, lost my passion for it along that process, and now spend my time shaking canes on Reddit.

I think a lot of people are in a similar situation. Hang in there guys.

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u/bert1589 2d ago

Got the robots telling us so

2

u/hetfield37 2d ago

Adding more code to fix bugs, especially those hard to reproduce, oftentimes brings more bugs with that. The more complex the code is, the bigger chance of forgetting something is.

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u/Old-Age6220 2d ago

Time to ditch internet and go back to great Finnish invention: IRC 😂

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u/USMCamp0811 2d ago

/me slaps Old-Age6220 around a bit with a large trout

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u/dcondor07uk 2d ago

IRC2SHELL

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u/djfdhigkgfIaruflg 2d ago

Shell2shell Checkmate

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u/OldSchoolIsh 2d ago

Time to ditch web and go back to Usenet, IRC and Gopher.

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u/Tiranus58 2d ago

INTERNET relay chat

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u/nidelv 2d ago

How do you run IRC without internet? Run it on a different distributed network?

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u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

I think perhaps the person you're responding to meant internet as in the worldwide web rather than internet as in the network

5

u/nidelv 2d ago

Yeah, that is a common interpretation, Internet = www

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u/Bryguy3k 2d ago

Basically only millennials and some gen-x understand that difference

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u/Old-Age6220 2d ago

Heh, yeah, even the name has "internet" in it 😂 On isolated networks for example. I was like of refering it being more text based and "limited", so it might have less "attack surface". But let's not spoil the good joke with a truth 🤣 (old Finnish proverb)

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u/shinitakunai 2d ago

IRC... so many memories... Cuak!

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u/melophat 2d ago

Back to dial-up we go! All of those old AOL free trial cds I have in my basement will finally be worth something again... If only I still had a cd-rom drive!

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u/RevolutionaryElk7446 2d ago

Well you'd technically be fine as this is HTTP2SHELL and that's the WWW and not the Internet.

So your IRC would be fine.

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u/BlopBleepBloop 2d ago

Ahhh, old port 6667

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u/djfdhigkgfIaruflg 2d ago

I use it on my BitTorrent client

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u/d_Composer 2d ago

Back to the BBS

2

u/Squeebee007 2d ago

Back to FidoNet.

2

u/IllustriousBed1949 2d ago

I miss IRC and the good old times 🥺

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u/Leftover_Salad 2d ago

Um, what does the ‘I’ stand for?

1

u/henrikhakan 2d ago

On a serious note, I think this is where we are headed if Ai is allowed to run amok by itself for a couple of years.

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u/cybermage 2d ago

Back to SneakerNet

1

u/edhaack 2d ago

Publish magazines with source code (in 6pt type) for a web browser that people have to type in and compile themselves. No sharing.

Then, introduce typos on the pages so they have to debug.

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u/burgonies 2d ago • Bravo

No one from Finland ever created anything meaningful for the internet. /s

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u/Altruistic-Resort-56 2d ago

Can we just turn off all the computers yet

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u/AtlanticPortal 2d ago

Even off they’re vulnerable.

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u/fugogugo 2d ago

what did I missed now?

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u/auxiliary-username 2d ago

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u/erishun 2d ago

I was told it was only PHP that was bad?

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u/FerricDonkey 2d ago

Everything is bad. Some badnesses just haven't yet been discovered. 

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u/Mateorabi 2d ago

80% of everything is crap

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u/auxiliary-username 2d ago

This one is unrelated to the PHP vulnerability, although it's the same class (a remote code execution, or RCE), and the same severity (9.2).

It was originally announced on the same day as php2shell, but this one is in the Brotli compression library. It was originally only announced as a NodeJS RCE, but it turns out it affects a whole bunch of over languages, such as NodeJS, Python, C++ etc.

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u/PGSylphir 2d ago

There is 2 types of languages, bad ones and the ones people complain about.

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u/minus_minus 2d ago

2 NODE 2 SHELL

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u/UltraGaren 2d ago edited 2d ago

Meanwhile game devs not even noticing other branches of programming are falling apart

Edit: holy shit guys it was a joke, chill

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u/faajzor 2d ago

Dark Souls 1-3 multiplayer.. you can quickly google it.

They shut the servers down because of remote code execution :)

there was no packet validation so if you invaded another player you could literally send scripts to run on their computer.

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u/Reversi8 2d ago

GTA5 had the same issue, maybe still does.

3

u/FactoryNewdel 2d ago

It was a hard time when you couldnt play DS3 PVP. Didnt know what to do

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u/Designer_Storm8869 2d ago

Absolutely not. They are affected even worse. Release a trailer of your unreleased game and someone is going to vibecode it and release it before you.

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u/doktorjake 2d ago

It’s literally reversed, friend. Other branches of programming are finally starting to feel what game devs have been feeling for the past 2 years.

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u/Anubis17_76 2d ago

head over to r/Steam and try to find a post thats not about the next fest being infected with AI Slop games.

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u/karateninjazombie 2d ago

That avalanche of shit started when valve stopped reviewing submissions to steam themselves and just said fuck it. Vote on what you want with steam green light. Then there was the indie-pocolypse crapfest and torrent of utter drivel that followed. Now we in the early access and preorder shower of airborne brown things. With the rise of AI rubbish coming in hard at present.

Valve could do better at picking what is and isn't out on the store tbh. Not everyone should be allowed to code. Much the same as not everyone should be allowed to write a book.

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u/-Redstoneboi- 2d ago

google "minecraft log4j doom"

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u/WriterPlastic9350 2d ago

Most AAA games these days are, for better or worse, live service, so we are very aware of this haha.

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u/WeirdTie2290 2d ago edited 2d ago

Holy shit. What is next? IP2Shell?

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u/AllCatCoverBand 2d ago

2 shell 2 furious

7

u/Anongirl55959 2d ago

BGP2shell is when i become Amish

3

u/Rosephine 20h ago

B2C2shell

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u/Al__B 2d ago

Is this your first time?

14

u/razor_train 1d ago

YOURMOM2SHELL 

3

u/Then-Programmer7221 1d ago

underrated comment

5

u/Tschurbi 2d ago

Next Flutter please.

8

u/LindyNet 2d ago

Somehow, Geocities returned

4

u/p-t-george 1d ago

The Internet is now truly based on open standards.

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u/4e_65_6f 2d ago

It's already patched. I don't get the drama.

I didn't even have to do anything the hosting team patched as soon as it came out.

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u/ApprehensiveStand456 2d ago • Heartwarming

Hosting team here. You never say thank you.

14

u/4e_65_6f 2d ago

I did though. I even gave five stars to the analyst that I spoke to. Hope the dude gets a raise or a day off at least.

3

u/rush2sk8 2d ago

That's what the money is for!

2

u/intbeam 2d ago

🙄 

2

u/NatoBoram 2d ago

Right‽ Like I haven't spent the night upgrading my SvelteKit app I haven't touched in a year because everything worked fine until now!

3

u/4e_65_6f 2d ago

You don't need to worry about that. Nobody knows what that is.

3

u/Ill_Scientist_2239 2d ago

Another day, another RCE

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u/Adorable_Ice_2963 2d ago

Damn AI! If people knew how their program down to assembly Level, this wouldnt have happend!

2

u/lushpigtails 1d ago

hey guys i am out of the loop what has happened

3

u/ShotgunPayDay 2d ago

I like to wave to all these vulnerabilities as I pass them by riding on my Blue Gopher.

1

u/Plazmaz1 1d ago

2

u/ShotgunPayDay 20h ago

At least it panics instead of giving a shell. I'm also not using andybalholm implementation and using klauspost instead. It's good to know though thank you.

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u/GodlessAristocrat 8h ago

s/Gopher/Waffle/g;

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u/Academic-Proof3700 2d ago

Its time people started hosting their shitty websites on containers rather than entire servers.

7

u/sn4xchan 1d ago

Sure because escaping out of docker is impossible.

2

u/alex-weej 1d ago

Locked door argument

3

u/Plazmaz1 1d ago

Containers aren't designed to be security boundaries, use vms.

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u/BastetFurry 2d ago

Back to mailboxes then, yay! *dusts off her 56kflex*

2

u/HoratioWobble 1d ago

Thankfully we wrote perfect, artisan code before AI so this was just a fever dream... right?

2

u/Lumpy_Elevator8248 2d ago

Hold on let me chatgpt this

1

u/AffekeNommu 2d ago

Do any client apps run on curl?

1

u/kontenjer 1d ago

what the fuck is even going on this week

1

u/thecoolcat67 1d ago

I'm calling in sick fk this bro wtf

1

u/Lazy-Good1433 3h ago

I do not find this funny in my case >:(

Me losing server access to pre-orders online is costing a lot of grief and concerns.

1

u/tomerFire 1d ago

Why the ability to inject shell commands like the even exists.

It like in cartoons when they press the big red self destruct button and you ask yourself why this button even exist

5

u/ArjixGamer 1d ago

Uhhhhhhh, it wasn't designed that way, so it's nothing like the cartoons comparison you made.

2

u/RazzmatazzUnusual843 22h ago

Okay, so basically... AI has been doing a lot of reverse engineering, including game decomps and finding security holes in things. CVEs have then been getting discovered in widely used frameworks at an alarming rate over the past handful of months, right around the same time reverse engineering took off. There was never a "big red button" to begin with or someone would've already caused this decades ago. There are two dots. Please connect them.

1

u/tomerFire 22h ago

Why would you create a tool to excute code/command like this?

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u/lolerwoman 9h ago

Tell me you dont know what php is without telling me.

-2

u/Bomaruto 2d ago

This is why everything should be rewritten in Rust.

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u/quixotik 2d ago

RUST2SHELL

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u/-Redstoneboi- 2d ago

one of these days someones gonna figure out how to do an rce via memory leak into panic catch unwind into unsafe memory read on whatever poison was left over by the previous thread, or something idk what im talking about

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u/Risky_Sandwich 1d ago

Claude, please implement -Redstoneboi-'s idea.

On it boss, spinning up 100 subagents.

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u/recursive_knight 2d ago

There isn't enough long socks..