Just what the title says. My daughter(5) is constantly having tantrums because she doesn't want to miss out on the most mundane things. It's absolutely absurd.

If I say, I'm going to go take out the trash. She wants to come..fine, as she's getting her shoes on, if I so much as take two steps towards the door she's on the floor screaming because she thinks I'm going without her. (I'm not)

If she's taking forever to decide what she wants to eat, or wear, and I walk away while she's thinking, (to go to the bathroom, let the dogs out, get my socks, blow my nose....) she's losing her mind because she thinks I'm doing something without her.

I have 4 kids total. No one else has ever acted like this or felt left out. Idk if this is a phase, or just her personality but it's making me feel so claustrophobic I want to rip my eyeballs out!

It happens out in the wild too. If we're at the library story time and the librarian calls on someone else while her hand is up, she's in tears. If she is trying to get to the front of the line and ends up second... tears.

On the other hand, she shares wonderfully, is emphatic, kind.. I know thats contradicting, but it's the instant response to something, not necessarily her overall outlook. If that makes sense??

For example, let's say she IS first in line. And someone younger comes up behind her, she'll happily let them in front of her. But if its a race to get there she's freaking out she'll miss her chance.

Idk if that even makes sense. She doesn't act like a spoiled brat most of the time. But really struggles if she thinks she's going to miss something.

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My 10 year old was recently caught stealing in school. She took a sticker book from a classmate and didn't own up to it for 2 days while the boy was distraught. She only admitted to it in front of the teacher when another kid saw the sticker book with her. I had a long chat with her about why stealing is wrong and the inportance of being honest even when she's made a mistake.

Now 2 weeks later, she took some stickers again from another kid but this time she admitted it almost immediately when the teacher asked. I brought her home and while I appreciated that she was honest, I told her she would have consequences for the repeated stealing and that I had to cancel her birthday party because I didn't feel like she was really appreciating the value of honesty or understanding the difference between right and wrong. She was quite understandably devastated and with a little prompting she admitted to stealing several small items from other kids in the last 2 to 4 months which she never got caught for.

Now I'm really at a loss how to handle this. Any advice, tips, anything from experienced parents who have handled this situation before?

Hi! I hope you guys can help me with my overthinking question of the day!

My child received an invite along with the rest of the class to a birthday party at her friends house.

Would it be socially acceptable for me to also bring my emotional support human (aka my husband) with me? I don’t know any of these parents, and it’s nice to have someone I know to fall back on. I know my husband feels the same way even though he hasn’t said anything lol. We both are fine with taking her individually if needed.

That said, I am concious of how many seats we are taking. Me, him and our daughter is 3 chairs getting taken up at a home party idk how big it’s gonna be.

We also recently found this kid is our neighbor and lives only 2 houses down from us though, so maybe this changes things. What’s the proper birthday party etiquette here? This is my only child and she’s 6, so I’m new to this lol. Thoughts?

It is 6:20 pm right now. My 5 year old son fell asleep in the car ride over to his brother’s tutoring. The tutoring gets out at 7. Dad is traveling for work so I had to bring all the tag alongs with me for brother’s tutoring.

He is still asleep.

Do I:

1. wake him up, knowing he’ll still have over 30 minutes of waiting

2. Let him sleep, knowing this is the devil’s nap?

His 7 year old brother is also here, happily and quietly entertaining himself, if that matters!

Hi everyone,

We’re in a classic, even cliché, situation. Even so, we don’t know what to do, and I wanted to see what you all actually do in practice.

To keep it short: there’s a household in the equation that sets no limits whatsoever on screens, bedtime, food, etc., and only sees my son (11) during school holidays (an important detail, I think, because it adds to the freestyle vibe while he’s there). On the other side, ours: age-appropriate screen access with limits, homework always done, we eat home-cooked food but go out to restaurants now and then, a lot more outdoor activities, a fixed bedtime, etc. So, pretty classic.

The problem comes when he gets back from his stay there: bad behavior, exhaustion, a tendency to talk back, a tendency to demand things he knows aren’t allowed, etc. In short, we end up being the bad guys every single time.

We’re at the end of our rope because it keeps getting worse and worse, but at this age, how do you explain why we do what we do, that it’s in his interest, that it’s actually for him? All he wants is a phone like his cousin’s over there (with no limits, of course), and to go to bed at 2 a.m. on weekends. I absolutely don’t want to get into a competition with the other parent. I just want his return to go more smoothly, and for him to understand, as much as possible, that we’re not the bad guys but his parents who love him and want the best for him, and that sometimes that does mean setting limits on things he likes.

So, what do we do? Hold firm and wait it out? Targetted concessions? Long discussions seem to do nothing, he just sits and waits until we're done basically (and to be fair, what 11 year old like getting lectured by their parents?). Punishment immediately after getting back creates a really bad correlation as well, conscious or not. I'm just stumped here.

Edit: we can't discuss this with the other parent, they are pretty uncooperative. We tried once a few years ago and were told essentially that it's not our concern what happens in their house.

My son is only 3 but we’re in CA so he will start TK next year and I am spending so much time stressing about what to do. I need some advice. For some background I am a teacher but taking a few years off to be at home with my 3 and 1 year old so we are currently one income and my history as a teacher also gives me a unique perspective for public school, some of which is positive but a lot of which is negative. Okay so options:

1. Stay in our current home and send child to our neighborhood school. School is not terrible but below average. I could continue to stay at home and school is only a 3 min drive away.

2. Try to open enroll in the school where my in laws live that is higher rated but a 20 min drive away. Stay in our current home and continue to be able to stay at home.

3. Go back to work at a nicer school and hope my son is able to get a spot there. Downside is younger son would need daycare and I really don’t want to go back to the classroom.

4. Get a job teaching virtually (which is what I really want to do) and move to a nicer neighborhood with a great school. But our mortgage would go up considerably because we have such a great rate now.

What I’d like to do is try to get them in my in laws school and go back to work in a few years but I’m wondering if the 20 min drive and not living in the same neighborhood as friends would be really hard??

I also feel like I have this unrealistic notion that I want my kids in the same school system tk-12 so they can have lifelong friends and be with the same kids in a way that I didn’t get to be…thoughts??

Hi all!

I’m posting as a parent of a 6 year old (oldest child) navigating trick or treating as he gets a smidge older.

Some quick context:
- He is very tall for his age. Like genuinely, as tall as a 4th grader. He also is fairly well spoken & loves to play sports. These things combined, he’s been sort of scooped up by some of the older boys/boys his size in our neighborhood.
-He does have a handful of boys and girls his age in the neighborhood as well. Some of the older boys are the siblings of his same age friends.
- I live in an LDS neighborhood and we don’t go to their church. The parents are clicky. This context does matter. Halloween basically looks like husband stays home and hands out candy, I walk w my son. Then we all hang out and pass our candy to the big kids later at night.

Here’s the dilemma this year. He REALLLLLY wants to impress the bigger boys and hang out with them. I let him walk ahead of me on our street (sun was up) last year and go with them. When we rounded the block they surprisingly were cool with me trailing along the road and wanted my son to keep up. He trick or treated all night with them. Boys were 8-10 years old.

The same group has invited him again. If I had “mom friends” in the neighborhood I’d totally just keep up in the street without hovering and let the night play out. Walking by myself does start to feel a bit like a hover. We’re at an age where all of our friends and cousins also want to be in their own neighborhoods w their friends or I’d invite them (this is what we’ve done up until last year and traded off neighborhoods).

So - what would/have you all done? To me - 6 is too little to be without an adult, but plenty old enough to be valid in wanting to be with friends. I want to set his expectations that this may or may not workout how he’s hoping if they run off without parents.. AND if that happens, we may not know where his other friend groups his age are in the neighborhood.

Thanks yall!

My 2.7 yo started having meltdowns multiple times a day.

We are pretty firm parents, we don't buckle to tantrums (we still dont) when we say no we mean no.

We thought she was doing ok and learning to accept being told no.

But this past week she has been screaming and crying so often.

Today's meltdowns (and i mean screaming, trashing)

- she woke up just before 7, didn't want her mum to be the one to open her room door

- wanted a milk bottle and to go back to sleep (she had a solid night and had to get ready for school)

- we offered a milk pack, she wanted us to just poke a hole so she can put the straw in herself

- we finished showering, she wants to play her usual game of pickaboo and for mum to carry her away (mum was too tired and needed a break) (this one i understand its a change from routine)

- we didn't let her press the water dispenser a second time

What the hell is going on?!

Could it be teething? She's due for her last four molars. But there's no night wakings.

.

My little girl is 6 now and loves to read and is starting to read by herself what book recommendations do you guys have she loves things like Paddington as we have the full collection of the full length novels and a few picture books of it and we have a lot of Julia Donaldson and most classic children’s stories like the tiger who came to tea and the very hungry caterpillar etc. but I’m stumped on more books she can read herself as though I love to read most of my childhood books I remember reading to myself I was a little older and had like dhal novels and David walliams and charlotte sometimes and the chocolate dog but I was about 8 years old so I’m struggling any recommendations are appreciated

I have mama guilt. My 9 year old son has never had his own room. He had to share with an older girl sibling but we turned an office into her room so she could get her own room because she is 13 now.

I have a 6 year old girl who doesn't have her own room (13yo won't share after sharing with brother for so long!) but what I decided to do was make their room the toy room with a bunk bed that the 6 year old can play in during the day but she still sleeps in my room at night. So it's his room but her toys are there and the bottom bunk has her bedding she can use during the day to chill/watch movies but at night he gets the room to himself.

Do you think this is a reasonable compromise for now?

If/when my 19 year old moves out the. The 6 year old will get that bedroom

I just feel bad making mixed genders "share" a room.

Mama guilt, just want input.

My son is about 2.5 months old and he cries A LOT. He’ll have periods almost every day where he’s inconsolable for 10–20 minutes, and on his bad days he can cry for about an hour and a half in the evenings.

I have a 3 year old daughter who was a much calmer baby, so this has been a bit of an adjustment for me. I know every baby is different and I’m definitely not expecting my son to be like his sister, I’m just mentioning it because this experience has been very different from what I’m used to.

He does have periods where he’s happy/content, feeds well, has wet diapers, etc., but it feels like so much of our day revolves around trying to calm him down.

It has even gotten to the point that my daughter is always telling me “We need to teach him how to be happy”

I know this is a phase and that babies eventually grow out of it, but honestly, I’m feeling really discouraged lately. Some days it feels like the crying is never-ending, and I’m just exhausted from constantly trying to figure out what he needs.

For parents who had really fussy/crying babies around this age, does it eventually get better?

Hi there, our 4 year old son is really struggling to integrate himself into play with big groups of kids. Kindergarten teacher brought this to our attention and we noticed it ourselves on the weekend when he attended a classmates birthday party and all the kids were in attendance.

He won’t join in and was wanting myself (father) or mother to come with him and do other activities at the party on his own.

He says he likes going and there’s rarely a morning when he doesn’t want to go, he has made friends at childcare and in other activities he does (swim school etc) but we are now starting to notice some differing (potentially anxious) behaviours at home such as picking his skin etc.

He is generally a more reserved boy that does take time to come out of his shell, completely different to his younger brother 😂

Any advice would be appreciated, I’m of the opinion that he needs to build his confidence up but the good wife thinks it could be something more.

Hello! She/her. I keep hearing that my sons will pull away from me, mom, around age 11 or so and I question...why? Is this a stereotype or do kids genuinely need to have autonomy from their opposite sex parent? It seems super sus to me. Wouldn't it benefit my kid to learn about half the population? My husband says he needed his mom MORE when he was 11-13. So many questions about socialization and emotions and feeling awkward. His dad told him to stop whining!

We've been having a lot of issues lately with not listening, talking back, and/or whining in our house (ages 6-10). All of these are "against the rules" in our house, and we used to have a list of jobs they could pick from as a consequence for breaking the rules, but I found it hard to keep track of how many jobs people had (if we weren't at home when it happened), or who had done what. I know there's no perfect system and I know sometimes it's just going to be hard, but I'd love to hear some other ideas about what to do in the moment for quick consequences. I'm not talking about big "you're grounded" consequences, just quick little things that happen throughout a normal week that need some sort of consequence, but that doesn't require too much extra managing from me. Thanks, everyone!

I'm currently using the Medela Pump in Style, but I keep hearing amazing things about the Spectra S1 and S2! I'm wondering if it's genuinely that much better or if it's mostly hype.

I'll be going back to work soon and will need to pump during my shifts as well as at home, so I'm curious whether the Spectra would be a worthwhile upgrade, especially for pumping at work.

For anyone who's used both, I'd love to hear your experiences!

* Did you notice a difference in milk output?

* Did the Spectra empty you better or feel more comfortable?

* Is the S1 worth the extra cost for the rechargeable battery, especially when pumping at work?

* If you already had a Medela Pump in Style, would you spend the money to upgrade?

I'm in Ontario, Canada, and I'm struggling to find a Spectra that doesn't cost almost $400! 😩 Where did you buy yours? Are there any Canadian retailers with good prices, sales, or reputable secondhand options?

I don't want to spend that much money if the difference isn't significant, so I'd really appreciate honest opinions from people who've actually used both pumps. Thank you! ❤️

Hi everyone!

My son will be 2.5 in December. He goes to daycare where they work with the kids on potty training, so although he wasn’t actively trying to use the potty, he saw his friends do it and started talking about it. I bought him a little potty that he seemed to love at first. He would willingly take his diaper off and try to use it and even sit on it with clothes on at other random times. I kept it casual and didn’t pressure him. He peed in the potty several times and pooped once. I would give him M&Ms as a reward. At the time, I don’t think he understood the difference between sitting on the potty and actually going. I also don’t think he had quite connected the feeling of needing to go in his body.

He quickly got frustrated by the M&Ms (since he didn’t get the concept yet), so we backed off. Took a long break where we completely ignored the potty. I figured he would naturally get interested again, but he hasn’t. Doesn’t want to sit on it at all, especially not without a diaper.

He’s got plenty of time to potty train, but he’s recently had more dry diapers, so I’m wondering if I should try to encourage the potty again or not. I bought him some Learning Layers diapers when he first became interested in the potty, which he likes, but I don’t want the feeling of wetness to become another aversion (when he’s not willing to sit on the potty).

I genuinely don’t want to pressure him or encourage something he’s not ready for, but I’m wondering if the dry diapers are a sign his body is ready?

Any tips or advice? Also, when we do try potty training again, any ideas on a reward that might be less frustrating? Bubbles didn’t work since he wanted to stand up and pop them. I feel like I accidentally ruined it with the M&Ms. :/

Thanks!

Our 5-year-old started kindergarten in August and things are not going well. Academically he is doing well. He’s made friends and likes his teacher and school overall. His behavior is becoming a problem though. At a parent-teacher conference a couple of weeks ago we were told that he’s doing great but needs to focus on listening and not talking over the teacher.

He’s in an after-school program and it has been going terribly. He does have some good days, but his behavior has been a major issue from day one. There were a couple of kids who were physically bullying him when he first started and he would retaliate by pushing and hitting them. We had many talks with him about how he needs to tell an adult when this happens so they can handle the situation. I talked to staff at the after-school program and let them know that he was getting picked on. They told him that they were sorry it was happening, and that they would help but he needed to let them know. This basically went in one ear and out the other, and he ended up getting a one-day suspension from the after-school program due to this and some other bad behavior. He saw how upset his mom and I were and we had a serious discussion with him. He seemed to take it to heart.

After that, for several weeks, when he got bullied by these kids he would tell an adult and they would help. The bullying eventually stopped and he did have a few incidents but nothing physical and more like not listening, not keeping his hands to himself, and potty talk. The staff told us that when there’s an issue they talk to him and he seems to understand what he’s doing wrong. Whenever he gets in trouble he faces consequences at home (time out, no TV for the night, etc.).

Last week he had a nuclear meltdown at bedtime, which is a rare occurrence. It started with not wanting to go to bed and eventually escalated to him screaming, hitting us, throwing things, and crying uncontrollably until he nearly made himself throw up. He has an old tablet with some ABC Mouse educational games that he is allowed to use from time to time, MAYBE once a month. He had been using his tablet that day for a couple hours so that was involved in the meltdown. That is put up indefinitely. After he calmed down we had a talk with him, and I had told him that I didn’t want to hear a single thing about his behavior the rest of the week.

The next day I went to pick him up and I found out he was suspended again for a day. He was pushing other kids on the way to the after-school program. He was asked to stop and seemed to understand but kept doing it. He also splashed water on the bathroom floor and on the other kids, and ended up pinching someone which left a mark. He was grounded for a full week, sent to his room, and his mother and I both had very long individual talks with him, then talked to him together. He was told that he needs to apologize to the kids involved with the incident, the adults (when his suspension is over). At the end of the night I told him that I didn’t want to hear about another bad day this week. He’s in Scouts and I told him that if he gets in trouble again he isn’t going to the event they are having this weekend (trip to a local wilderness center).

The day after that, at school, a girl stepped on his fingers and rather than tell the teacher he hit her. He apologized to the girl, the teacher talked to him, and she informed us of the situation. We had another talk with him, more days were added to the grounding, and he was told that he was staying home from the Scouts event this past weekend. That triggered another meltdown, although he came around to accepting the consequences.

Fast forward to today. He got into it with one of the bullies and they started swinging at each other. Both of them ended up suspended for 2 days.

My wife and I are at our wits end with this. We are stressed, I’m sad, and she can’t stop crying. She blames herself, thinks she is failing as a parent. We have talked with him until our jaws hurt and we just can’t seem to get through to him. The grounding and consequences aren’t working. He tells us that he can’t help getting in trouble, that he doesn’t mean to be bad. He always promises that he’s going to have a better day the next day and then something happens. I have gotten to the point where I dread picking him up from the after-school program because I am expecting to hear that he’s gotten into trouble or is getting suspended again.

Something has changed in him since he started kindergarten. I’m not sure if it’s adjusting to public school, as he was raised in Mennonite daycare/preschool from the day he was born. He did get into trouble at preschool but nothing like this, and no more than the other kids there. At preschool there also weren’t as many consequences, each day was a new beginning, so I’m sure that plays into it. I’m not sure if he’s learning/copying bad behavior from other students.

He’s in a program with the school counselor for kids who have a hard time adjusting to kindergarten, where students can learn as a group to manage their feelings and come up with better coping skills. I am also going to have a talk with the after-school program about his behavior and see if they have resources for us to look into. I am also considering looking into a child counselor to see if it would help.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have advice?

My baby is about to outgrow her infant car seat. I’m looking into getting a rotating car seat for my car. Husband has the standard, non rotating one and it’s a pain. Either way- we need to buy another one. Is the rotating seat worth it??

Hi everyone! Kind of a vent - but also looking for advice on how others in a similar phase of life handle this topic. Now that my oldest is in grade school I’m facing a new dilemma that I’ve never had to worry about before. I’ve always prided myself on the fact that we ALWAYS show up for kids when invited to a birthday party unless we have something else going on. I’m trying to raise “we show up for others” humans in a world where so many people don’t prioritize others, and hearing stories about kids who were so excited for their parties but then had barely anyone show up really gets to me.

With that said, I’m overwhelmed. Since school started in we’ve been invited to and attended 4 classmate birthday parties. We also have had 3 of our adult friends’ kids birthday parties, 2 of my daughter’s friends from preschool, and 3 neighbor kids who are around the same age. In the past 6 weeks alone we’ve had 8 birthday parties, and 2 more coming up over the next 2 weekends. Since Friday after school we’ve received 2 MORE invites. I’m burnt out and feel like every single weekend is accounted for with birthday parties, and I think I have to adjust the mindset that I’ve always had about showing up but it’s making me feel SO guilty.

I guess I’m just looking for input from others who share my mindset, because the “you don’t owe anyone your presence” type of advice is the exact opposite of how my conscience works, and is not valid advice in my mind lol. I’m always honored to be included and want to continue treating invites that way, but I have to draw a line somewhere and I don’t know where to draw it - because all of these people are important to us in different ways. I’m so grateful that our circle has grown since having kids but I’m really missing the days when my oldest was a baby/toddler and our circle was much smaller. Where do you draw the line when it gets to be WAY too much?

My 1 year old begs to play outside in the grass ALL day long, he begs at the door. I do take him out a few times but I am extremely anxious bc we do not have a fence and people walk around without leashing their dogs and our neighbors have huge dogs that bark a ton at my son and I’m afraid they’ll escape the yard. We have a huge enclosed deck that I REALLY prefer him to play on, but he refuses and ONLY wants to be in the grass. Is there a magic trick to make him like the deck better??? I am considering buying a moonbounce 🤣 This causes me so much anxiety please help.

I feel like my son hates me. He is 6 months old and absolutely loves his dad, its like i dont exist. I cant get him to sleep, he doesnt want me feeding him, when I hold him he searches for his daddy. It wasn't always like this, its only when my husband comes off his night shifts. He works 4 on 4 off, so has good quality time with baby. I feel like i dont know how to bond with him anymore. I read to him, sing, dance, play with his toys. But he is constantly looking for his dad. It's breaking my heart so much to think and feel that my own baby doesnt like me.

I’m a mom to a 4 yr old and lately I’ve been struggling with my emotions as a parent.
I love my daughter more than anything, and I want so badly to be a 24/7 gentle, patient mom who makes her feel safe and secure. But when she starts losing it/having a meltdown, I sometimes get so overwhelmed that I end up raising my voice.
Sometimes it’s frustration..sometimes it’s anxiety because she’s so upset, and sometimes I’m just mentally exhausted. It really depends on the situation. I hate that I react this way because I know she’s only 4 and she’s still learning how to regulate her emotions.
Tonight, we had a difficult moment over something as simple as wiping herself after using the bathroom. I was trying to encourage her independence, but things escalated, and she became extremely upset. Afterward, I felt absolutely horrible. I’ve been sitting here worrying about whether moments like these could affect her emotionally, and I can’t stop feeling guilty.
The hardest part is that I feel like I’m the only mom who struggles with this. I see so much about gentle parenting and staying calm, and I truly want to do those things. But in the moment I don’t always handle things the way I wish I did.
I don’t want my daughter to grow up feeling like she can’t come to me when she’s upset. I want her to feel safe expressing her emotions. I also want to teach her independence and boundaries without feeling like I’m losing my mind. I just want to learn how to handle these situations better. Have any of you struggled with this? How do you go about these kinds of situations?
I could really use some honest advice and reassurance that I’m not alone.

We’re a couple with a 20-month-old daughter. She goes to what we consider the best nursery in our area and she seems generally happy there. But at home, it’s a very different story.
She wakes up screaming sometimes, screams when she wakes during the night, and a lot of the time she’s just generally unhappy or frustrated at home. She does laugh and smile, so it’s not that she’s never happy, but it feels like most of our time at home is spent managing her emotions rather than actually enjoying time with her.
We’ve tried taking her to parks, playdates, getting her toys, spending one-on-one time with her etc. These things can make her happier for a while, but the next day we’re back to the same situation.
I know toddlers cry and have difficult phases, and temperament probably plays a role. But I know another toddler around the same age who seems much more content, eats well and is generally happy at home, so I can’t help wondering if there’s something we could be doing differently.
It’s honestly starting to affect us as parents too. We spend so much energy trying to keep her happy that we’re becoming tired and irritated, and I don’t want that to become our normal family life.
For parents who had a similar toddler, did things naturally improve with age? Is there anything that genuinely helped with temperament, frustration, sleep or overall happiness?
I’d really appreciate practical advice from parents who have been through this. I want her to grow up happy, but I also want us to actually enjoy this stage with her rather than constantly trying to manage her emotions.

Hi! So we are doing an experience based birthday for our kid, and I don't want to do a goodie bag/take away gift. My reasoning is that the experience itself is the gift. If I were throwing it at a park or our house, I could see doing them, but not where we are going? After talking with extended family, they basically said it was very rude not to thank guests with a gift of their own.

If you were an attendee at a party hosted at places like the movies, a small theme park, or Sky Zone (just to name a few), would you be disappointed to not get a gift? Thank you!