EXPLANATION

There are seven levels of Jimbo's Inferno:

1. LIMBO - Safe for now, but not everyone is content. Keeping their job outside of a major collapse.
2. RISING - Questions are starting to be asked. Improvement needs to be made, but coach is still safe unless things go way south.
3. CRITICAL - The tenure is at a crossroads. Continued underperformance could put coach's job in danger.
4. HOT - The possibility of a firing has become real. Coach must hit key benchmarks or risk being fired.
5. SCORCHING - The situation has become dire. Something needs to change for coach to keep his job.
6. HELL - Unless a significant turnaround is made, this position will be open at the end of the season.
7. THE VOID - The point of no return. At this point, there is nothing coach can do to save his job. Expect a firing imminently.

There are also a few tags that coaches can have:

• RETIREMENT WATCH [R] - for coaches that are in the tier they are because they could plausibly retire after the season.
• DOLLAR SIGN [$] - for coaches that have such an astronomically-high buyout that could prevent a firing

Jimbo's Inferno takes into account team performance, coach behavior and public image, as well as any public statements made by administrators or credible reports that come out.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This list has been pretty bad as of recently, at least in my opinion.

Most of the placements of coaches have been impacted more by emotions and overreactions than actual logic and objective facts, and the descriptions of the levels are being completely ignored when evaluating coaches. Like, genuinely why is Shane Beamer in The Void. Why is Steve Sarkisian in Scorching.

In light of this, I decided to re-evaluate every single coach's position in the list, keeping to the actual descriptions of the tiers, and I'm going to do my best going forward to not let emotions cloud good analysis. Everyone has wanted their coach fired at some point so it's always going to be hard to objectively evaluate where coaches stand.

But enough of that. WE HAVE MOVEMENT THAT MUST BE ADDRESSED:

MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

Beyond the inferno lies the realm where fired coaches go: the realm of Jimbo. It can be a difficult adjustment after an extended stay in football hell, but those who enter quickly discover how peaceful and serene it is. Inside the realm of Jimbo lies a large house, with an infinite supply of the most comfortable couches, the most high-quality televisions, the best gameday food and beverages, and the biggest piles of buyout cash a man could ask for.

As these men ascend into this realm of being, they are greeted by a smiling Willie Taggart, who exclaims that he has been waiting for company for months and that there are drinks in the cooler. Maybe being a fired college football coach isn't so bad after all.

• Mike Locksley, Maryland - Once September Maryland was broken by Virginia Tech this was inevitable. How this guy got another head coaching job after his New Mexico tenure and how this guy got the most Rooney Rule-pilled NFL head coach interview of all time will forever make zero sense. Locksley is a terrible head coach, but don't worry because he's also a horrible person too.
• Dave Doeren, NC State - Reject mediocrity. Doeren was a cockroach at NC State. Never good enough to be a serious program, but never bad enough to lose his job. Well, this year I guess he was bad enough to lose his job. Now please hire Philip Rivers. It would be so funny.
• Dave Aranda, Baylor - Flashback to 2021. Aranda looked like the truth. Baylor was the Big 12 Champion. The future looked bright in Waco. Now, in 2026, a famously Baptist institution is firing their head coach on the Lord's Day. Perhaps fitting, considering Aranda will now be able to get all the rest he wants, on a couch next to a pile of cash.

THE LES MILES AWARD

An award (?) given weekly to the coach that puts up the most inexplicable, unimaginable, downright stupid coaching job. It may or may not have cost his team a win, and it may or may not go to someone who isn't anywhere close to the Inferno.

Past winners:

• Week 0: Dave Doeren, NC State
• Week 1: Greg Schiano, Rutgers
• Week 2: Ryan Day, Ohio State
• Week 3: Dave Doeren, NC State
• Week 4: Shane Beamer, South Carolina
• Week 5: Co-winners - Tyson Summers, Colorado State DC & unidentified Colorado staffer
• Week 6: Steve Sarkisian, Texas
• Week 7: Tosh Lupoi, California

This one was easy.

Michigan OC Jason Beck is the winner of this week's Les Miles Award because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

However, I would also like to address something that happened at the professional level that is so downright disgusting and inexcusable that it deserves it's own special award:

THE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU AWARD

Ladies and gentlemen, the first "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" Award goes to...

The entire Philadelphia Eagles coaching and medical staff, with an extra special "you suck" to Nick Sirianni.

People should be going to prison for this. How on planet Earth was it okay for Jalen Hurts to fly transatlantic to London and back with superficial blood clots (with the clots having probably made it to his lungs by the time of the return trip) and PLAY IN A REAL NFL FOOTBALL GAME with superficial blood clots, but he couldn't sleep the night before the game because they thought he was going to die if he did?

Jalen Hurts should demand a trade, Nick Sirianni should never coach in the NFL again, and the entire medical staff responsible for clearing him should never practice ever again. This is a disgrace.

-=- Tathan's Section is being removed for this week at least because it's mostly just quarterbacks and not worth the time it takes finding a non-QB to put on it -=-

JIMBO'S INFERNO

No graphic this week because I'm working on a new, better, less cluttered one.

Off the list: Luke Fickell, Wisconsin; Lance Leipold; Kansas, Dowell Loggains, Appalachian State

LIMBO

• Mike Elko, Texas A&M [$] - Just find a new quarterback in the portal in the offseason and everything will be okay.
• Kyle Whittingham, Michigan - I think everyone knows it's not his fault. We actually know exactly whose fault it is. And until this week's Les Miles Award is fired, Whittingham will stay on this list.
• Clark Lea, Vanderbilt [$] - Still have yet to prove that you can win without Diego Pavia. Jared Curtis, you have a lot on your shoulders.
• Bill O'Brien, Boston College - Dare I say Boston College doesn't look that bad?
• Bronco Mendenhall, Utah State - Good defense. Not good offense. Maybe consider having a better offense.
• Gerad Parker, Troy - Well, when you lose to Louisiana-Monroe...

RISING

• Ryan Silverfield, Arkansas - All these coaches getting fired, so Arkansas Board of Trustees, you know who should get fired next?
• Bill Belichick, North Carolina - Somehow, someway, Bill Belichick is orchestrating a turnaround in Chapel Hi- aw man they lost in overtime.
• Brent Key, Georgia Tech - Speaking of coaches that haven't yet proven they can win without a star quarterback that has gone on to the NFL... Brent Key, you plan on doing anything in the post-Haynes King era?
• Scott Satterfield, Cincinnati - The sweetest victory. A victory so sweet they might not fire him after this season anymore.
• Charles Kelly, Jacksonville State - Off this week.

CRITICAL

• Steve Sarkisian, Texas [$] - Credit where credit is due, the noise could have gotten deafening but you went out there and silenced it. You still almost blew the lead though. And you still need to hire an actual offensive coordinator. And you still need to fire Pole Assassin's husband.
• Sonny Dykes, TCU - The Revivalry killed Dave Aranda. Don't you know God commands us not to murder?
• Shane Beamer, South Carolina - The decision to place Beamer in The Void after the Alabama loss was not the correct one and that's not even with hindsight. He should have been in Scorching or Hell. My fault. Also my bad for doubting Cocktober.
• Timmy Chang, Hawaii - I don't think Chang is in that much danger of losing his job, but he still needs to provide an explanation as to why they're suddenly so bad this year.
• Dell McGee, Georgia State - Once a dead man walking is now just a threatened man walking.
• Jeff Choate, Nevada - "Lets goooooooooo! ROSE BOWL HERE WE COME!" - u/1nf1niteCS

HOT

• Dabo Swinney, Clemson [$] - I think at this point everyone knows it's over and the only thing keeping Dabo from being fired are the 2 rings he has.
• Jedd Fisch, Washington - You're going to need a little more than just a new QB in the portal, and at this point you might not make it to portal season...
• Clay Helton, Georgia Southern - It's still hilarious that the guy USC thought was a slam dunk hire after firing Helton is below him in the inferno

SCORCHING

• Lincoln Riley, USC [$] - "more like LinkedIn Riley because he's about to be open to work" - Rodger Sherman
• Mike Norvell, Florida State [$] - Managed to survive the Virginia/Louisville/Miami stretch that everyone thought would be the end of him. Now let's see how much longer he gets. 3 more wins probably saves his job.
• Tosh Lupoi, California - you are an idiot 😀
• Fran Brown, Syracuse - WINNERS GET WASHED
• Bryant Vincent, UL Monroe - YOU WON A FOOTBALL GAME. WHAT.
• Jay Sawvel, Wyoming - Sawvel hates the military confirmed.
• Tim Albin, Charlotte - You know, if you got fired this year, I bet you could probably get your job at Ohio back.
• Derek Mason, Middle Tennessee - Absolute peak Tuesday night football.

HELL

• Greg Schiano, Rutgers [$] - Was it ever this bad even in the Chris Ash era?
• Deion Sanders, Colorado [$/R] - You just got Mestemakered. Would not be surprised if Deion "medically retires" at the end of the season.
• Scotty Walden, UTEP - Their last game of the season is against Northern Illinois, so they'll get at least one more win. The real question is if Scotty Walden will even be around by then.

THE VOID

• Phil Longo, Sam Houston State - A few years ago, when my younger brother was in kindergarten, I was the assistant coach for his youth Upward flag football team. Our main responsibility as coaches on the football side of things was to make sure they ran the right way. If you've never watched K-1st football, it's the most fun you'll ever have watching sports and you gotta do it at least once. My point is this: I genuinely believe that I was a more accomplished coach in my two years of coaching (not even head coaching, but assistant coaching) kindergarteners than Phil Longo ever has been while coaching grown men. Phil Longo is a terrorist.

JIMBO

• Mike Locksley, Maryland (10/21)
• Dave Doeren, NC State (10/24)
• Dave Aranda, Baylor (10/25)

CONCLUSION

Good to be done with this early. Hopefully no more coaches get fired tonight and I can get a nap in

Bye now

This has roughly a .3% chance of occurring. Unless your special teams coordinator is Jeff Banks, of course.

Edit: I worded this very poorly, here’s a better version: The receiving team has a 76.2% chance to recover an attempted onside kick. The Texas Longhorns, as the receiving team, have failed to recover 4 onside kicks in a row.

It's the most spooktacular time of the year, and underperforming USC head coach Lincoln Riley has plenty of danger to worry about. After going 7-6 in 2024 and 9-5 in 2025, Lincoln Riley is now 5-2 in 2026 and fresh off a loss to Luke Fickell's Wisconsin T.E.A.M. This Halloween, USC is facing Ohio State, and to state the obvious, Ohio State will be highly favored to win. If Lincoln Riley is 5-3 before the clock strikes midnight on All Hallows Eve, does Lincoln Riley need to be afraid of tarmacs?

(Okay. It's a home game. So that's a plot hole in this setup. But their next game is November 14th at Indiana, at which point Riley could easily be 5-4, and be needing to walk across a tarmac to get to his flight home.)

Oregon is having a down year

OSU qb1 goes down right before you play them

Indiana’s offense looks shaky

This was truly the perfect year for Lincoln Riley to finally turn the tide and get to the playoffs with usc. Instead, you get absolutely outplayed agaisnt Wisconsin and outplayed vs Oregon. Crazy thing is you can’t even blame the defense agaisnt Wisconsin they mostly held up well but the offensive guru was only able to score 7 points? I don’t understand why Lincoln Riley teams since he’s been at USC have started out so flat on the road. This looks like a team that’ll easily lose at least two more games the rest of the way. I know Lincoln’s buyout is absurd but it’s clear as day he’s not goin to get usc over the hump. That loss last night feels like the nail in the coffin for him at usc

Most of these facts/stats are from Kentucky football statistician Corey Price.

• 14th time ever that Kentucky will finish above .500 in the SEC, and only the 6th time since the 1950s.

• For the first time since 1977, Kentucky will finish October undefeated (4-0).

• This is only the 5th time since WWII that Kentucky has started a season 7-1 or better (other seasons being 2018, 1977, 1950, and 1949).

• This is only the 4th time ever that Kentucky started conference play 5-1 or better.

• Third time ever that Kentucky has a 5-game win streak in the SEC.

• First time since 1977 that Kentucky won their first 3 SEC road games, and first time since 2009 that they've won 3 SEC road games in a row.

• When Kentucky beat LSU earlier in the season, Lane Kiffin became the 2nd coach ever to lose more than once to Kentucky while they were an AP Top 10 team, and Kentucky was unranked.

• Only the fourth time ever that Kentucky has beaten two teams that were ranked within the AP Top 10 at the time of playing.

• Kentucky's overtime win @South Carolina was their first road overtime win ever.

• For the first time since 1977, Kentucky is ranked in the AP Top 10 to end October.

I expanded today's AP Poll to 30, including top 5 teams outside of top 25.

Saturday, Nov. 7

• No. 1 Miami at No. 5 Notre Dame
• No. 3 Georgia at No. 12 Ole Miss
• No. 8 BYU at No. 6 Utah
• No. 10 Alabama at No. 15 LSU
• No. 9 Kentucky at No. 16 Tennessee
• No. 11 Texas at No. 23 Missouri
• No. 26 Iowa at T-20 Northwestern
• No. 28 Cincinnati at No. 18 Houston

Saturday, Nov. 14

• T-20 Northwestern at No. 2 Ohio State
• No. 23 Missouri at No. 3 Georgia
• No. 17 Florida at No. 9 Kentucky
• No. 11 Texas at No. 15 LSU
• No. 6 Utah at No. 22 Arizona
• No. 13 Texas Tech at No. 24 Oklahoma State
• No. 14 Wake Forest at No. 19 SMU
• No. 29 Oregon State at T-20 Boise State

Scheduling challenges with large conferences, 9 game conference play, and NIL has made college football much more interesting.

Kentucky has a juggernaut of a schedule left with Tennessee, Florida, Missouri, and in-state rival Louisville

UCLA has Nevada, Minnesota, Illinois, Michigan and home town rival USC left.

Don't know who will be on the top at the end for these conferences, but NIL has sure changed what can be possible.