Successful people with ADHD, what are your secrets/advice?

I have ADHD and I am struggling at work and starting tasks. Have any one of you found strategies that can consistently help with these issues? Is there anything that can help like meditation that can strengthen our brain or do you guys use coping mechanisms like body doubling or both?

I'm in my 40s, married with kids, and have spent around 17 years in sales. Sometimes I wonder how I've reached this stage of life and still feel so far from where I wanted to be. It feels like I've somehow stumbled into everything I've achieved without really earning it.

I've been interested in tech since school. I watched friends get into it and always envied them, but never had the drive to pursue it. Looking back, I've just taken whatever bus came along without deciding where I wanted to go.

Now I want to move into Tech and maybe build something of my own. I spend hours researching courses, tools and possibilities, imagining what I could do. But when the actual work starts, I freeze. The confusion, self-doubt and boring practice get to me. I procrastinate, jump to another idea and repeat the cycle. I've paid for courses I never finished. More than once.

It's affecting other parts of my life too. I'm overweight, my kids look up to me but I worry I'm letting them down, and my wife is understandably frustrated when I don't follow through on what I promise. I barely have a social life because I'm awkward around people and often assume they don't like me. At work, I feel I'm doing the bare minimum and could be let go any time.

I make plans, get excited, do very little, then feel guilty and start again. I'm honestly tired of being this version of myself, but even that realisation hasn't changed much.

I'm not looking for motivational quotes or another productivity hack.

Has anyone genuinely been like this in their 40s and managed to turn things around? Not just for a few weeks, but for good. What actually changed? How did you break a pattern you'd repeated for years?

Hello,

I’m hoping to see if anyone else has the same feelings. Is it an adhd symptom to feel like of someone expresses that I didn’t do something correct it feels like I go into a heavy revaluation of my actions Or what I said and before you know it I am so overwhelmed with my thoughts I start to make lists and tell myself I need to get my life in order or I’m going to get better at such and such and the goal is for me to feel better. I know that even though I’m medicated for my adhd I still suffer from forgetting things, or if there is a sock on the floor- I can’t bring myself to pick it ole en though I know I can and should. I’m tidy but have chaos piles ….in just feel like my whole life I have always felt like I can be better at life and I’m 47 now and I’m tired of feeling like I’m not at my best.

I'm recently diagnosed and don't have much experience dealing with this stuff,

When I picked up my latest vyvanse prescription, the pharmacy gave me an old adderall backorder at the same time (it being stuck on backorder was why I got switched to vyvanse... I'd assumed that the old prescription would have been removed automatically).

Having inattentive adhd, I somehow didn't notice until after paying and walking to my car. Once I noticed, I took it right back and they took the extra medication and refunded me (but chastised me for not noticing it before paying, even though it was their mistake...).

Has anyone else had anything like this happen before? Should everything be sorted out since I took it right back, or could I run into future issues?

(M, 33) I'm only on day 5 of not drinking any alcohol and I'm not sure how I'm feeling, mentally I'm ok (NOT SUICIDAL), just looking for stories or other ways to cope as I've been a heavy drinker for years without missing a day, 5 to 12 a day during week days, weekends way more than that. So basically an alchoholic that I never realized or wanted to admit. Drinking has been part of my life for the past 13 years or so and I'm planning to not drink at all and be sober, only the last 2-3 years I have drank really heavily. Also I take vyvanse daily.

Long story long, was drinking, 10 or so beers in, emotional situation happened, went take a breather outside, on my walk back I slipped on wet surface and busted by elbow open pretty bad, blood everywhere, should have went get stitches, I was emotional wreck further as I was drunk. Went to Dr. next day as it was swollen and hurting bad, they prescribed me doxycycline, and since Thursday morning I havent had a drink because I'm taking antibiotics.

Last time I took doxycycline (for a spider bite) 2 years ago I hated it, I had an upset stomach and felt like I had the flu, I would only drink a beer or two max a day.

Roughly hour 48 to 72 of not drinking a beer at all this time around while taking the doxycycline, I had these uncontrollable body shakes like I was naked outside in freezing weather. I was cold, but hot, and had these severe body aches, specifically in my lower back and legs, probably had a headache also but have been taking Ibuprofen to reduce swelling.

From the research I've done its sounds like I had withdrawls and it scares the shit out of me. I have kids, and a wife that really understands what I deal with having ADHD. I haven't been myself for a while now and kept on drinking, the more I drank the less noise in my head.

Anybody have a similar situation of quitting cold turkey? How did it go for you from Day 1 til?

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed with ADHD two months ago, and I’m currently studying mechanical engineering at university. I’ve struggled with ADHD symptoms my entire life, but my parents were against medication. Looking back, I feel like untreated ADHD robbed me of my childhood and education.

Throughout primary school, I was placed in special education because I struggled academically, especially with math. My teachers always told me to try harder, but they never understood that I genuinely was trying. I just couldn’t concentrate. I was constantly daydreaming, and no matter how hard I tried, my brain never seemed to be present.
Recently, my psychiatrist had me take a WAIS intelligence test, and I scored 76. That number has completely destroyed my confidence. I was extremely stressed during the test, physically shaking, and unable to think clearly, but I still can’t stop thinking about that score.

Now, whenever I struggle with something in engineering, my brain immediately tells me, “You’re stupid. Your IQ is only 76. That’s why you can’t understand this.” It’s heartbreaking because I genuinely put so much effort into studying, yet sometimes it takes me hours to understand something that others seem to learn quickly.
I’ve been taking ADHD medication for two months, and the difference has been night and day. I can finally concentrate and actually enjoy learning, but I still carry years of feeling unintelligent.

I genuinely want to become a mechanical engineer, but I’m starting to doubt whether I’m capable of succeeding. I’m constantly fighting against my own thoughts, and it’s mentally exhausting.

Has anyone with ADHD experienced something similar? Has anyone received a low IQ score but still succeeded academically? What study techniques helped you, and how did you overcome constantly feeling unintelligent?
I don’t want to give up on my dream. I just want to stop letting one number define what I believe I’m capable of achieving. Any advice would mean a lot.

As a former gifted kid, I used to read 4 books at a time, churning them out on a weekly basis and maxing out my library card. As a college student, I just got back into reading and have finished 15 books this entire year.

However, I've come to learn that I can't read multiple books at the same time anymore. I keep one digital book on loan to replace my social media scrolling, and then I keep one physical book because I like holding it in my hands, and that's it. I can't read 2+ physical books at the same time, nor digital, or else I lose motivation and forget things that have happened.

I also learned that audiobooks are a no-go for me, as I zone out and miss huge chunks of details, and that I like to take notes on my books.

TL;DR:

Knowing this now, I'm curious how often you guys read? Do you prefer audiobooks, digital, physical, or a mix? Can you read multiple at a time? How often does it take to finish a book? Does talking about books on Goodreads or Pagebound motivate you to finish them?

I’m curious if anyone here is married to someone with a different presentation of ADHD??

I’m F with more hyperactive ADHD, while my husband is primarily inattentive/forgetful. Even though we both have ADHD, our symptoms can look completely different, and sometimes it’s hard not to take that personally.

For example, I may be more restless, talkative, or eager to deal with things right away, while he may seem distracted, forgetful (even if it is super important), slower to respond. I know his behavior usually isn’t intentional, but it can still feel hurtful or make me feel ignored. At the same time, I’m sure my intensity can sometimes be overwhelming for him. I can be pushy and controlling due to that and we can have our small arguments here and there.

How does this dynamic work in your marriage? Do your differences balance each other out, or do they create more challenges?
I’m especially curious about how you handle everyday things like household responsibilities, cleaning, organization, communication, and emotional regulation.

Hi everybody!

I received my diagnosis last week and my doctor asked me to ask around about people's personal experiences with Atomoxetine, Methylphenidate, and Lisdexafetamine to better inform my decision of which to try first.

I know I have left this a bit last minute, but if anyone has any experiences they could share, that'd help me so much!!! Thank you!!!

For context, i'm currently taking an online math class and I genuinely cannot do it. I haven't taken any of my exams for it and it ends this next month, I've tried studying for it and yeah, same thing. it just does not stick lmfao

you guys have any tips? anything would be greatly appreciated!

Hi, I am 25F recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have started meds and am going to therapy which has helped me.

Unfortunately, no one in my family knows much about it ADHD or mental health or is even open to learning about it. Especially my parents who are old and don’t take mental health issues too seriously.

After my diagnosis, I have realised that my 62 year old dad has ADHD and it has negatively impacted every aspect of his life in the past. He is currently retired and doesn’t work so it is not an active problem. But his daily functioning is poor. He’s forgetful, has anger and substance abuse issues, leaves tasks, and is a bad driver because of his distractibility.

I tried to tell him that he might have ADHD and should get tested to which he replied with saying that I’m calling him crazy. How do I help him???????

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Hi everyone! I'm interested in hearing from adults with ADHD who have tried Strattera, especially those who struggle with executive dysfunction.

My biggest difficulties are staying focused, maintaining motivation, and following through with tasks. I can get excited about new projects and ideas, but I often lose interest quickly and jump from one thing to another without finishing anything. Even when I genuinely want to accomplish something, I struggle to maintain consistent effort over time.

I'm wondering whether Strattera has genuinely helped anyone with these issues, rather than simply improving their attention.

Did it make it easier to stay focused for longer periods, finish tasks, and remain consistent with projects? Did you notice a meaningful improvement in your everyday life, and how long did it take to feel the effects?

I'd also appreciate hearing about any side effects and whether you felt the benefits were worth it.

I'm particularly interested in experiences from people who struggled with task completion and consistency before treatment. Thanks!

Second year of university. Most classes I'm in are retakes of the first years classes because I was mentally fucked for the whole first year.

Already failed one course.

I have support, I have people who are helping me, I'm on papers I am technically on fucking sick leave. Yet still I'm just a stupid idiot and can't get anything done.

I just loathe myself. I loathe my existence. It feels that my existence is just to be a nuisance to those around me.

I have no plans. I have no deams. I often fall asleep wishing for the sweet release of death, so that this conscious torment may finally come to an end.

I used to feel shame. But nowadays when I'm faced with failure I feel nothing. Inside my head I want to kick and screams. But to the outside world I just seem mildly infuriated.

I'm so lost. Fuck

I’m not really sure if it’s really the fear of forgetting, and I’m not sure if this is the right sub to post this in since I’m not officially diagnosed (if it isnt I apologize, and if it’s not appropriate I wouldn’t mind this being taken down. It’s just that I see a lot of people who has adhd struggles with memory so I thought this topic would be relevant), but for months now I feel anxious whenever I go out and do something (especially something meant to be fun), or talk and interact with somebody I care about because I’m afraid I’ll forget about it in the future, and that it will mean nothing in the end (I guess in a “if I forget, did it really happen?” type of way). Or when I loose someone, I’ll forget all the good times we’ve spent together. 

This has caused me to obsess over the thought of excessively recording and documenting every little moment in my life (by video recording, audio recording, etc…). I usually try not to act on it but ended up feeling too anxious and bothered by the thought to really focus on the present, making me enjoy the experience less than I’d usually do because I keep worrying whether or not should I capture it or not, or worrying about if I’ll remember it later. And if I do act on it I feel unnatural and even more anxious. 

Also doesn’t help that factually memories can also be very faulty and unreliable. 

Does anyone else think like this as well? Is there a way to start thinking about this less? I feel embarrassed for even feeling anxious over something like this but this has been bothering me for far too long now. 

Sorry if there’s any mistake in spellings or if this is structured kinda badly, English isnt my first language. And thank u for reading. 

I fail few subjects every semester and parents have to pay for it and I don’t think I can finish Uni until I pass them.

I get distracted almost automatically and have severe social anxiety at that. Subjects are theoretical so it’s heavily about listening. No way I’m ever passing. Payment will probably only rise.

Or I have to quit Uni and go to military for 6 months. I don’t want either of those.

Let's say I read a paragraph. I understand a phrase and it's connection to the previous phrase. I move on to the next phrase and repeat the process. Many times, I lose attention on the current phrase, so I go back one phrase and restart the process to preserve attention as well as connection. Mind you, I lose all previous information in the paragraph when I am reading a phrase. I can just keep the current phrase in working memory to understand it and a slight idea of the previous phrase just to make a connection between the two. I forget all previous phrases and sentences. So, when the paragraph is over, I remember nothing.

On the 2nd read of the paragraph, I need less processing power to understand the phrases so I have more capacity to connect the phrases together. I still need to re-read things many times as attention gets diverted. I remember a few things.

On the 3rd read of the paragraph, I need even less processing power to understand the phrases, so I have more capacity to connect the phrases together, and the rest is spent on predicting the next phrase automatically. I need to re-read things fewer times than before. I remember over 70 percent of the paragraph.

Like...why does this happen? Even if I am reading the full paragraph the first time with re-reads wherever attention was lost, why can't I remember everything? I am making sure my attention is given to every single phrase in the paragraph and on the connection of a phrase with it's previous phrase. Still, it takes me 3 reads to remember 70 percent of the paragraph. I have seen people remembering much more in just one read. What is the process behind this?

So I have been on adhd medication for about 2 plus years. The non stimulant kind. But impulsive behaviour was something that I still had a time controlling still. So my doctor gave me a mood stabilizer that helped. It was powered at 450 mg. Since this is quite high and I have been taking it for a long time in order to not affect my level negatively she suggested we reduce the dose. So we went to 300

But since then I have observed impulsive behaviour has come back. I mean I have literally bought around 60 thousand plus Indian rupees worth of perfumes just like that though I already own plenty of perfumes already. I understand it might be withdrawal symptoms as well as my brain has 450 mg dose earlier and it takes time for it to settle down. But it's been a month since I've seen it settling down.

So I wanted to check how you guys manage impulsive behaviour without increasing the medicine dose? Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hey guys, I wanted to ask some advice. I am a 19yo AuDHD-er with anxiety, depression and C-PTSD.

My memory is so so bad. It’s been bad for a couple years but since February it’s been horrible. I had what I can only describe as an anxiety flare up, and I started experiencing really bad derealisation.

I have been to the doctors multiple times about my memory. It gets so bad. I know it’s really common to have bad memory as an adhder, but holy fuck it’s horrible. I have experienced-

- not remembering what I ate
- not knowing what I did a couple hours ago
- not remembering what I did yesterday
- my whole week being a blur
- not remembering what I just said or did

Every single f- ing time I go to the doctor they say “ it’s just anxiety” but then I go back for anxiety and they say “ well have you tried breathing”

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m losing myself. I’m scared. I’m frustrated. I can’t keep working and going to uni and looking after myself. I’m unmedicated and I’m struggling. Thank you so much for reading

I wonder what the chances are that what I've been labeling as chronic fatigue for a decade is actually just chronic attention system understimulation. That would go a way toward explaining why I can sleep for 15 hours and still be tired. It would also better explain how I'm able to slam two cans of monster in a row and immediately take a nap... But that could just be the paradoxical response to caffeine.

Hello, I've recently made a document compiling things that have helped me function significantly better that you can give a try. It covers useful resources I found, how I approached building routine and make it stick, tools I used, how I handle procrastination, manage working memory, how I juggle making multiple changes, other more granular things I found useful (such as thought processes) and a bunch of other stuff.

It's split into three main sections relating to biology, psychology, and behavior. I've tried to make it as short and easy to read as possible, along with inclusion of images where relevant.

Everything is kinda interrelated, but you can just pick and choose which section seems most relevant.

It's meant to be viewed in HTML format in your internet browser (looks the best and has a table of content on the side to easily jump around the document in), but if that doesn't work I've included a PDF version too.

Disclaimer though, I'm not a professional and these are just the things that have helped me in my experience, your experience might differ but I do hope at least some of it might be useful to you.
At the end of the day what matters is what works for you.

You can get it here

P.S enable dark mode on top right when using the HTML version.

I was originally prescribed Focalin XR 10 mg as a purple and white pill labeled “IX 683.” It worked well for me, but I decided to try a higher dose just to be sure. That experience did not go well, so I switched back to Focalin XR 10 mg. When I got my “new” prescription, the capsule was yellow and labeled “TEVA 5551” instead. When I started taking it, I didn’t feel the same productivity and order the original purple capsule made me feel, but I thought it was all in my head. 2 weeks into taking the yellow capsule, I feel like I’m struggling with executive dysfunction and extreme anxiety, like really extreme. Is it possible for a different brand of the same medication and dosage to affect me so drastically/differently? I feel crazy. Please help 😭😭

Hey, for you which song better represents the ADHD feeling? I'm not talking about lyrics; I'm talking about the instrumental.

For me, it is "Take a Slice" by Glass Animals. The way the song starts very low, gradually increases, and finally reaches its peak like a form of desperation represents the feeling a little bit. Obviously, it is impossible to describe in one song, as it can be so different for everyone.

Hey all!

I am hoping for some helpful advice regarding keeping organised and keeping on top of everything and keeping productive.

I am the kind of person who buys a new planner and thinks it's going to change my life. It works for a few days then I forget I have it and move on.

I have got a job which is much more fluid. I make my calendar. As long as the work is done no one is checking on me. It's a big job and I love it but I am really struggling.

I find things that are amazing at keeping me going... For a few days.

I've tried using my online calendar, planners, undated planners, a to do list book, fast brain friend ADHD planners, iPad planners, everything notebooks and recent have seen using a record card box to put everything you need to do into day sections which I'm intrigued by.

But how do we remember to use the thing? I think that's where I always fall down. I use it for a few days then I forget to keep it up to date or check it.

Thanks you so much in advance- appreciate you all!