the bottomless hole i have in my heart, the hatred I have for myself, the emptiness I feel. I use to think I could somewhat understand why people do it, now I completely understand. Where is the escape for the pain and emptiness? I have drank more in this week than I have in my entire life, just searching for some form of relief that is temporary.

i try to take things one step at a time but all the steps I take are as heavy as an elephant, taking everything in me to go forward towards something that I don’t care about. My future.

before everything happened this month I would have never considered killing myself, now I would think about it. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live. More than anything I want peace and quiet inside my mind. only way I can do that is if I sleep, I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, the rest of that I am just awake and aware of how meaningless this life is and hateful of everything I am.

i dont know what to do.

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” - very presumptuous. Not all problems are temporary, in fact I’d argue a good chunk of them aren’t. And a permanent solution is exactly what we want, as opposed to what, a temporary one? Who wants a temporary solution? Solutions are supposed to be permanent.

“It always gets better” - again, presumptuous. Things do not always get better. Life isn’t a fairy tale. Sometimes bad shit happens to amazing people and horrible people sit high and dry, just look at the current political landscape for proof of that.

“Suicide is the coward’s way out” - the amount of courage it takes to actually go through with an attempt is a complete contradiction of this statement. People who believe this have no idea what it’s actually like and don’t realize how lucky they are.

“Just go to therapy” - yeah because THAT’S easily accessible and affordable for everyone…

“Call the hotline” - speaking from personal experience: so I can be ghosted and disrespected again? Or from the experience of others I’ve seen: so they can call the police? Confidential my ass.

“It’s extremely selfish” - but expecting someone to continue living in agony for OTHER people isn’t?

“It’s all a part of God’s plan” - not even gonna entertain this bullshit. THERE IS NO GOD. And if he IS real, he’s a real piece of shit.

Can't study can't do anything

No motivation whatsoever so I feel shit about myself and so on...

All I do is mastubate and procrastinate with my work and studying

There is no place in society for a loser like me

Please let a car run over me sometime soon

I'm 26M and i have had enough.

I'm sick and tired of feeling alone and miserable almost 24/7.

medicine doesnt help and when reaching out i just get tossed like a hot potato and sent somewhere else.

Being high functioning i can hold a job and itry to do things that suppose to make you feel better but it doesnt really work.

If my life continues like this i'd rather be dead before i reach my 30's and dread to live long enough to reach my 40's.

That is all.

80k student loan debt no job prospects nothing to look forward to in life. Can’t live without rent to pay my loans can’t get a job. I have nothing to do tomorrow or ever again. Every day I wake up and I can’t even get out of bed. I haven’t gone to class in months because it’s just a waste of time. I’m killing myself soon. There’s no future for me.

I’ve never been fully diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I’m depressed, My mom constantly tells me to call someone or set up and appointment but what would it change, cause I know I won’t change, I’ve tried before but every time I try to change or fix what’s wrong with me I always end up futher off the deep end then before, so what’s even the point of trying to reach out to a therapist if I know it won’t lead to anything but the full realization that I can’t be fixed no matter how hard I try, and god knows I won’t even try in the first place.

Really struggling this month (or year) with hygiene but I flossed tonight for the first time in too long. Felt like an overwhelming task but I did it. Proud of my very small win for the day

I never understood the idea of people believing in personal freedom of everything but when it comes to committing suicide or wanting to die it turns into a dangerous mental state and craziness driving the person, most of that determines on things like religion/personal beliefs/ or simply their attachment to life and hating death.

What i personally believe in that case is that, you can live, and you can die. Death is inevitable and people like to act it’s not, no one asked to be born and no one is obligated to live, if someone truly wants to die and see that nothing that can improve or help their situation and they’re gonna die anyway do we push them into something they truly hate to continue on until you find them dying a horrible death? That’s the problem with society, either they aren’t aware enough of how to deal with this kind of people or simply because they grow up hating suicide as a whole.

Suicide isn't normalized anywhere because people simply don't like to think about it at all. It's shitty. It's "sad" to them, Nobody wants to feel or be "responsible" for someone else's death, which is complete bullshit imo. They put responsibility on themselves automatically and then be moved with it to stop the person who wants to do it “independently” it’s their choice, it’s their “life” as they say, so why mog them or hate them if they didn’t listen?

Please give hygiene tipps that actually work but don't require much. I can't bother to brush my teeth or shower.

I (M23) have struggled with depression for most of my life and severe depression for almost 3 years. Dropped out of university my junior year to get help. I felt marginally better and decided to resume university. Little did I know it would all come back.

My family, while empathetic at first, have turned a blind eye toward anything I tell them after I "became better". My "friends" never understood what I was going through and have mostly distanced themselves from me. My now former therapist didn't know what he could do for me.

I've stopped caring about everything. I can't bring myself to attend classes or even take care of myself. I can't even enjoy my hobbies even if it's something as accessible as video games. I'm likely to be kicked out of university next semester and my family who has helped me financially would never forgive me. I've been spending my money on conveniences like doordash just to get myself through days where I feel paralyzed. I drink a few times a week to get my mind off the thought of death.

At this point it feels like it's over. Most of me has accepted that I'll succumb sometime after this semester, but I have moments where I don't want to go. Though with how I've been living I don't think life beyond the next couple months is worth it.

I tried making a post like this earlier but for some reason it got taken down.

Basically, Everything‘s going wrong for me, all of my idols are dead, a lot my family is dealing with major health problems, I permanently damaged my relationship with my parents, and all of the therapy I’ve had of the last few months isn’t helping.

to anyone reading this, please give me one good reason to keep going, because I have never wanted to die more than I do right now.

Please someone listen I just need help.

My depression has been making me the most angriest person I’ve ever knew. I don’t want to say I have depression since Im undiagnosed, but I’ve been dealing with this nostalgic pain for almost a decade now and for reference I’m 17. For all this time I have suffered alone. My friends have heard the surface of my troubles but other than that I keep it all inside until it turns into anger and resentment. Im hurting my parents. I’m hurting my family.

I keep having fights with my parents these days. They are always saying that it feels if I hate them. Of course I don’t hate them, but i definitely resent them. It’s just been building up so long I just feel like they don’t deserve to hear my real feelings. They have always been supportive of me and always providing but I’m never fulfilled. In the days I struggled most, I was always alone and felt deeply hurt by those around me. When I was younger I’d always find something to do with my parents. I would ask my mom if I could do her makeup for so long, she always pushed it off and said next time but that next time never came. It may seem small but those interactions I guess stung. She would always take me shopping but I guess what I wanted more was that intimate moment of just spending raw time together.

Fast forward towards my most busiest years of my life, the sudden switch up of family time comes in. My family has always been family oriented but as a burnt out teen I js don’t want to anymore after years of trying. I’m the youngest only daughter out of brothers so u can feel how alone I get. These days they have been saying how I never hang out with them to do family things when it feels like during my middle school years I was the one who wanted to do things but everyone else was busy. I love my family, but for some reason all I could do is be angry at them. I push them away, I never talk to them, I’m always in a bad mood which breaks the whole house apart. I feel like I’m the one tearing this family apart, but at the same time, I feel like all my feelings have been invalidated. I’m scared to come out to them for no reason. I know they will support me but I just want to be in much pain as possible I guess for a way to get back at them. I would rather reach a climax of a state where I’m in terrible condition to feel validated.

Especially the past years, I’ve been incredibly depressed and suicidal. I hate every aspect of myself and resort to self harm. No one noticed. I just feel so alone and as if I’m digging myself into a deeper hole despite having everything lined up for success for me. I just want someone to see me. I want to tell my parents everything but I’m too busy in my senior year with college apps and everything going on. I feel like it will js make everything more stressful. They seen me change and turn into an angry daughter but they never asked why or wondered what could be the root cause. Idk I feel like it’s all my fault that we’re a broken family. I just want everything to go back to normal, but at this rate the new normal is js gonna be me not apart of this family anymore.

Sorry if things are unclear or messy, I didn’t want to make it too long and wanted to post it quick so I could have someone to talk to.

Hi. I just turned eighteen, and somehow, I’ve never felt more alone in this world. It’s a strange kind of loneliness, the kind that follows you even when you’re surrounded by people, the kind that makes you feel like you’re speaking a language no one else understands. Whenever I try to share what’s going on inside my head, people look at me as though I’m crazy, as though the way I feel is something to be ashamed of. I hate that feeling more than I know how to explain. The feeling of being isolated, of being misunderstood, of existing in a world where I can never seem to make anyone understand the weight I carry. It’s terrifying. It’s lonely in a way that words never seem to do justice.

The truth is that I don’t know how to live with the way I feel anymore. Sometimes, I don’t even know if I want to. I can’t remember a time when I truly wanted to be alive, when existing felt like something other than a burden I had to carry from one day to the next. Nothing brings me joy anymore. It feels as though the world has lost its color, and I’m left watching everyone else find reasons to live while I struggle to find even one of my own. I spend so much of my life with a pit in my stomach, a constant, sickening dread that follows me everywhere, as though my own body knows something terrible that my mind cannot explain. I am always trying to hold myself together, trying not to fall apart, trying not to throw up from the sheer weight of being here.

I hate it here. And the saddest part is that I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know where to begin, what I’m supposed to change, or whether there is even a part of me that still wants to be saved. I feel so tired of being a person, so tired of carrying thoughts that I can’t seem to put into words, so tired of waking up every day and having to convince myself to keep going when I don’t even understand what I’m holding on for.

And yet, despite all of this, I’m afraid of dying.

I think that’s one of the cruelest contradictions of being alive to feel so exhausted by existence, yet to be terrified of what comes after it. I’m scared there is no heaven, that there is no place waiting for me beyond this life, no light at the end of all this darkness. I’m afraid that one day I’ll cease to exist entirely, that everything I am every thought, every memory, every feeling, every little piece of me that has ever loved or suffered or wondered will simply disappear. That I’ll go from being someone to being nothing. That the consciousness I have spent my entire life trapped inside will one day go silent, and the universe will carry on as though I was never here at all.

I don’t know what frightens me more: the thought of continuing to live like this, or the thought that one day I won’t exist to feel anything at all.

I’m not always good with words. Sometimes, the things I feel are so much bigger than anything I know how to say. I try to explain myself, but the words come out wrong, and I’m left feeling even more alone than I did before. I don’t know if any of this makes sense to anyone else. I only know that it makes sense to me, that these feelings are real, and that I am so tired of carrying them in silence.

I wish someone could understand me without making me feel like there is something wrong with me. I wish I knew what it felt like to exist without being afraid of my own existence. I wish I could look at life and see something worth staying for.

I’m only eighteen, and I already feel as though I’ve been here for centuries.

In general, I've become pretty detached from life. I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong place, in the wrong generation, or maybe at the wrong time altogether.

I'm approaching my late twenties, struggling with severe depression, and it feels like there's this huge, dark cloud hanging over me. I've lost hope in almost everything.

But what hurts me the most is that I've spent most of my life single. I've had very little love and sexual intimacy in my life. I won't say I've never experienced either, but it's been very rare. Sometimes, being alone feels like a curse I've been sentenced to live with, or a sad fate that was somehow written for me. I wouldn't say God is punishing me, because I don't believe God is unjust, but maybe it's some kind of test.

Lately, I've started realizing that emotional and sexual deprivation are major reasons behind my misery and the way I've grown to hate life.

I'm not organizing my thoughts very well, but that's one of the things I appreciate about Reddit. For once, I can be myself instead of wearing a mask and playing a fake version of myself, which is what I feel forced to do in real life and even on social media outside Reddit.

Emotional and sexual deprivation have genuinely messed me up psychologically. There are times when I ask myself why I should work, take care of my health, or even try to improve my life when I'm so lonely. Why am I even alive? What is the point of my existence? Why should I bother getting out of bed in the morning?

I don't think I'm necessarily rejected by women. I just feel like I'm not suited for the dating world as it exists today. I'm not someone who can tolerate mind games, psychological manipulation, or these constant tests people put each other through. To me, they feel like a waste of energy and dignity.

I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm not ugly either. I'd say I'm pretty average. And honestly, I feel like I was born into a generation that has completely lost its way, a generation that has made relationships more complicated, superficial, and exhausting than they need to be.

Where I live, I feel like women are often more attracted to men who know how to manipulate them, play games, and sweet-talk them than they are to men who are simply genuine. Sometimes, it even feels like being a smooth talker or a manipulative guy matters more than physical appearance or money. I'm not saying every woman is like this, but that's the pattern I've come to feel surrounded by, and it's incredibly discouraging when you're someone who values honesty and straightforwardness.

I'm not a bad boy, I'm not some aggressive, street-smart guy who treats women like garbage, and I'm certainly not interested in humiliating women or playing with their feelings just to make myself seem more desirable. But sometimes, it feels like being a decent, honest person puts you at a disadvantage in today's dating culture.

And honestly, I believe that for a man who deeply craves love and intimacy, living without a woman who genuinely loves him, without meaningful emotional connection or a fulfilling sex life, can eventually make life and death feel almost indistinguishable. I'm not talking about sex alone. I'm talking about the feeling of going through life without the intimacy, affection, companionship, and sense of being wanted that you've desperately needed for years. When that part of life feels permanently out of reach, it's hard to see what makes any of the rest of it worthwhile.

I also believe the whole Red Pill movement has done enormous damage to modern relationships. It has encouraged people to see each other as opponents, turned dating into a game of power and manipulation, and made genuine affection seem like a weakness. Instead of bringing people closer together, it feels like it has turned everyone into a more cynical, emotionally guarded version of themselves.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to become someone I'm not just to have a chance at being loved. I don't want to manipulate anyone, play stupid games, or sacrifice my dignity just to experience something that seems to come naturally to so many other people.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm tired of pretending that being alone doesn't hurt me, because the truth is that it hurts more than I can explain.

Note: if you have any intention to humiliate me or make Any ( you're pretend you're nice and any of this nonsense please save it to yourself)

I fucked up my career now i drive an uber, lost pets, lost a beloved relative, suffer chronic pain, depression and adhd.

my family doesn’t give a fuck but i’m sure they going to cry when i’m gone. I’m done with medication and therapy. I’ve been medicated since 2018 and it doesn’t gets better.

I wanted to be a father since i was a kid but maybe isn’t the best choice. I tried to “trick” myself trying to be positive but something isn’t right in me.

still paying for something i didn’t asked for

It always gets worse during autumn, but i never get used to it. I have things to distract myself, but i always get lost in a spiral about how none of it matters. I have this constant feeling of dread and anxiety hanging over me, and even if i manage to distract myself from it for a while, it always comes back. I hate it here

I am so tired. As the days go on I am getting more and more suicidal. I have had depression / this numbness which I can only describe as anhedonia for 5 years. From 16. I am 21 now.

I have tried so many things. All the exercise, the career changes, making friends, what have you. But deep down, I always feel empty. It is getting to the point where I am thinking of taking my own life, I can't imagine living this way forever. It's so scary.
I have a psychotherapist who I do trauma work with, and I am employed which has helped things over the last year.

But I am so deeply lonely, I don't have many friends or hobbies. Even if I did, I literally physically cannot FEEL anything else.

Please please please give me some advice. I am desperate. I have been on fluoxetine for the past few years, with a random GP I have never seen before just increasing it every so often when I go to the doctors and beg for help.

I am sick of nothing working, and I am sick of feeling like nobody understands my case or knows what is going on. I want to know what is going on and what can be done. I don't want to be sick anymore. I used to be such a bubbly, happy girl.

And please don't give me lots of lifestyle advice, I have most likely tried it all. I am sick of working all the time with no reward. My last hope is to pay for a psychiatrist privately, even if it does take most my monthly wage. I live with my mum at least who helps support me. If I can't find help from even a psychiatrist, I don't know what I will do.
I have been scrolling on this feed and seeing everyone's posts and I feel more helpless.

Please, is there anyone out there who can tell me this is not how I will feel forever? That I will smile again? I am sick of feeling nothing. The suicidal thoughts get louder and louder each day. I fear that soon I won't be as able to get help anymore, the high functioning depression is slowly slipping into more hopelessness.

I am finding myself in dangerous situations more and more and not caring what happens to me, feeling nothing. No fear, just apathy. If my family weren’t here, I would be gone by now. I don’t want to die, I just want to get better, but the fight in me is dying.

Please tell me what I can do. Tell me it gets better. I can't take it anymore. In my head I don't see myself living past 1 more year like this. I am so scared: (

Im tired of waking up. i dont want to care about people. i dont want to do anything. why cant i just sleep forever? nothing brings me joy anymore, i used to love doing my hobbies now i have to force myself to do them. the day that i cant keep my head distracted is the day the negative thoughts will win again. i already failed a few times, im so useless to even taking my own life. im so jealous of people who see a purpose in their lives, because yeah i can take the time and push myself to find it but i dont care. why am i even here

15f felt this way for some time now, i lack motivation for life and it feels like theres no point in life and now i understand why people kill themselves and honestly i’m contemplating it.

İ just realized i gone out like 20 times in the last 365 days( gone out as in to hang out or watch a movie or even walk)

idk what to do anymore. thinking abt my academics js make me go insane bc i feel guilty and dissapointed to myself at the same time. its my last year in shs and here i am fucking depressed and feeling shitty. i wanna finish my shs but i dont think if i can anymore. im on antidepressant and antipsychotic for 1month, and 2weeks absent on school. im rlly worried abt my school. my academic is so affected. but i cant help myself either. I get anxiety overthinking abt my acads. i hate myself.

I feel like life is hard and it’s only getting worse. I’m not allowed to cry. When I was younger I would cry a lot and my parents would always scold me. I still cry a lot, but I do it alone. Today they saw me crying and they got angry. I feel that nothing good happens to me. Every day is a fight that I lose.
How much longer will I have to try again every day and lose?
I’m tired.